Tell me about things that really piss you off even though you know you're being unreasonable...

[CrazyNewDogLady]

I'll start.

My mum always puts 'your' in front of every single activity, work, hobby I do and it annoys the fucking life out of me. For example, me and DH bake a cake every Saturday because we're cool like that. Every time we speak on Saturdays she asks 'Did you do your baking today?'. I find it patronising, like she's saying 'Did you do your little baking activity today? Ah, good girl'.

I know I'm BU. I know she doesn't mean to be patronising but it boils my piss. But because I'm BU, I can't say anything. So I have to just fume quietly and vent on MN

Coopedup My partner puts 'The Big Bang Theory' on then leaves the room

thecatflaps I think you'd hate me hahaha

people who take their kids to anywhere like costa and then just let them run around yelling and screaming without saying anything to them.

although I am currently being the dick in Costa on a sunday morning sat at a four person table by myself because i need the space because I'm doing my uni work reading mumsnet with my business folder next to me

Food served on things other than a white round plate. Fuck off with your flowerpots, chopping boards, slates, tiles, mini chip frying mesh thingies, little steel buckets. Just fuck off poncy gits. I wanna eat on a plate. And i want coffee in a mug/ cup. Not a glass. Glass = cold drink. Raaaaahh!!

I do not like this phrase I have only recently noticed in the media (although DH tells me it is not a new thing) but in talking about a new album or single that is releasing, instead of saying "so and so's album releases on Sunday" it is "so and so's album drops on Sunday" DROPS!?

Oh, and if I am waiting to get off the train, it is my responsibility to press the door open, not those on the outside waiting to get on. Most ppl know this is the rule and stand a respectable distance away from the door, but some twats stand there with their hand hovering over the door open button, when they can clearly see there are ppl getting waiting to get off the train. Very annoying.

Oh my shite!

The mum waltzing through shops singing "cha cha cha..." is making me want to kick a wall.

Why? Why is she doing it?

My personal favourite happened just yesterday.
It happens when male chums visit with their wives or girlfriends and (bearing in mind it's the bloke I'm friends with) the w/gf collars me to talk about utter shit. I've been interrupted while talking about work-related stuff, or travel etc and asked to explain why my nails are in such good condition. Yesterday it was all about my fucking washing machine. It's a tough one because as soon as you so much as glance away from your existing convo you're out of the loop. Otoh if you ignore the question, you're hostile and dismissive.

Gives me the SHITS.

Another commuter one. People who know where to stand on the platform so they are perfectly positioned for the train door. Only to get in first and then stand by the door blocking people getting on. MOVE THE FECK DOWN THE CARRIAGE YOU FECKING MORON!

On adverts for films, instead of saying "in cinema's July 5th" they now say "July 5". Drives me mental. It's 1st, not 1 or 15th not 15 when referencing dates!

In written English it is perfectly correct to write 5 June 2016, rather that 5th June 2016. Reversing the month and day is an American thing.

Would it be uncharitable to point out that your incorrect use of an apostrophe in your last post made me irrationally annoyed?

I was talking about the spoken date in a television advert but seeing as I've offended the grammar police I'll get my coat.

God, loads of these. The 'your' thing is very very irritating. My dad says 'Watch your programme' if we're talking about whether to watch telly or not and I find it irrationally patronising. Also things like 'Did you enjoy your breakfast?'

My friend says 'the-ETTA' for 'theatre' and it makes my toes curl.

People coming into zumba class in the small studio with their coat/bag/folded-up bike and dumping it all at the edge of the room, for people to spend the whole class trying not to trip over. (incidentally, blue, I am one of those people in zumba who drifts and cannot coordinate myself. Sorry! )

'I'm sat.'

DP saying 'Oh, we haven't got much in the freezer have we?' when I'm the only one who ever does any batch cooking. Does he think the freezer fairy does his?

People actually running for a seat on the tube. I take great pleasure in casually blocking their way and moving towards said seat, slowly but inexorably. I can feel them vibrating with frustration.

Drivers taking it upon themselves to graciously wave me across zebra crossings. How magnanimous of you, o great car driver. It's my fucking TURN.

People attention-seeking on Facebook with alarming but vague statuses ('Sometimes someone just really really hurts you and I don't think they even realise'/'Well that was a shitty end to an already tough week' etc). I also hate people then taking the bait and piling on going 'What's up hon?xxxxx' when the correct answer is silence.

People adding an incorrect 's to names of shops etc. 'Tesco's', 'Aldi's' etc. THERE'S NO FUCKING S. STOP IT.

People who leave long voice messages then mutter the telephone number really quickly, so you have to play the whole -boring- message three times to get the full number.

I also can't stand it when people hijack you at a dinner out, when someone is in the middle of telling a really funny story, just to tell you how well little Jonny is doing at school.

People who sit right next to you when there is loads of space elsewhere. Particularly annoying when you've found a nice space on a beach. Then they make lots of noise and play ball right near you. Bastards.

People who say Scalectrix when it is Scalextric. No idea why it annoys me so much.

People who don't leave a message when they get your answerphone. Why would someone not say who they are or why they'd like to talk to you?

RockUnit my DH joyfully proclaims he never listens to any voicemails, not even mine. He says if it's important people call back. Wtf!!

Wanky pretentious teenage-poetry music lyrics in crap classical music.

Doing a concert program at the moment that contains one set of three absolutely beautifully written pieces, setting three beautiful and profound poems. Every single other thing in a 1.5 hour concert is to set to utter wankbadger attention-seeking teenage pretension (oo, twisted minds, death, misery, hatred, more death, self harm - how we all love this - and then some Emily Dickinson just to make it all even more annoying) and all but one of the music settings is effing incompetent plinky-plonky shit full of broken rules of harmony and counterpoint that sound like glaring incompetence rather than daring avant-garde brilliance.

Tempted to go back next week and say "well as it's local composers, I"ve got a piece here; the text is "I've got my life together and i'm not talking about death, so fuck off you teenage wankbadgers""...

'Throwback pictures.'

My Facebook feed is littered with people putting up 'throwbacks'.

They are old photographs.

Oh and being called by my first name.

Since childhood I have chosen to be known as a diminutive of my name,: along the lines of Bill instead of William.

I have never introduced myself as 'William' to anyone, only ever use it on official forms and actively dislike it. Everything at work (email address, security pass, name badge) has 'Bill' on it.

However people at work have taken to referring to me as 'William' presumably for comic effect. I can't really say anything as it is my given name and would make me look petty (and with a couple of people would make them do it all the more if they knew how much it wound me up) but I grind my teeth and silently wish an itchy arse on everyone who does it.

Estate agent speak.

EA speak:
Although compact, the space has dual aspect which maximises its south-facing aspect.

English translation:
This tiny room has two windows and get a lot of sunshine.

People who leave long voice messages then mutter the telephone number really quickly, so you have to play the whole -boring- message three times to get the full number

People who don't leave a message when they get your answerphone. Why would someone not say who they are or why they'd like to talk to you

YES!

But not this

Drivers taking it upon themselves to graciously wave me across zebra crossings. How magnanimous of you, o great car driver. It's my f* TURN

They are letting you know they've seen you and are going to stop.

People that pull up outside my house to text. It happens every single day. I am BU as I don't own the bit they stop on, but I always sit up and go "ooh who's this" thinking I have a visitor so go running to the window with lonely desperation then realise it's just someone else on their phone directly outside my window!

People who hold their knife like a pen.

riding, they bloody well should have noticed me and be stopping. It's a pedestrian crossing at which they're OBLIGED to stop. I don't need a wave to reassure me that someone has graciously decided to allow me to scurry across.

I know IABU about this one and it's fair game etc but EBAY SNIPERS WHO SWOOP IN AT THE LAST MINUTE AND WIN AN ITEM I'VE BEEN THE ONLY BIDDER ON ALL WEEK

It just seems so... rude. And sneaky, and mean, and underhand. I very rarely bid on items that already have bids on, personally, and I certainly wouldn't do so at the last moment! This happened to me just yesterday and while it went for more than I wanted to pay (well £1 more ) I had been really looking forward to the item all week. Bloody shitbags.

The word defiantly being used instead of definitely, I don't care if it's autocorrect surely you can go back and correct it yourself!

Eating in silence. Nothing makes me feel angrier than having to listen to everyone chewing, slurping and crunching. Background music works wonders!

ProfessorPickles may I add people who say 'definITEly'? Usually the same people also say 'what can I do you for' and 'complimicated' and think they are the epitome of wit.

The phrase 'each to their own' gets on my tits too. Especially as it such a reasonable statement.