Tell me about things that really piss you off even though you know you're being unreasonable...

[CrazyNewDogLady]

I'll start.

My mum always puts 'your' in front of every single activity, work, hobby I do and it annoys the fucking life out of me. For example, me and DH bake a cake every Saturday because we're cool like that. Every time we speak on Saturdays she asks 'Did you do your baking today?'. I find it patronising, like she's saying 'Did you do your little baking activity today? Ah, good girl'.

I know I'm BU. I know she doesn't mean to be patronising but it boils my piss. But because I'm BU, I can't say anything. So I have to just fume quietly and vent on MN

The word 'methinks' should be eradicated from our language entirely.

Nail biting drives me mad. MIL constantly picks and bites and clicks and fucks about with her nails. It makes me want to punch her in the throat, and I'm usually a quite lovely person.

People parking in front of my house. People parking anywhere near the front of my house. People who use the driveway of my house to turn around. Fuck off! It's my fucking house! ALL of it, even the bits I don't technically own!

I'm a mad old bat.

My mother referring to my pregnant bump as "baby".

"When baby is here..."

No it's The Baby.

It's been a learning curve.

Ticks all the boxes.

YES with 'pop up on the couch'! Also 'sharp scratch!' said in a jolly Chummy voice. Scratch??? It's a PRICK. A SHARP PRICK.

People stirring their Costa coffee (or anywhere) about a million times noisily. The sound of the spoon going round at high speed for 5 minutes or so makes me rage. I wamt to grab the spoon and say. Enough.

The sound of people slowly pouring a drink into a glass. The noise sounds pretentious.

My neighbour who slyly claimed a good bit of council grass next to his house by planting a row of quick growing trees then dismantling his fence once the trees had grown increasing his garden size.

"People who use strikethrough wrongly (or how I consider to be wrong)."

Oh yes, than too. The strike through is supposed to be like this...imagine you wrote something on paper and then changed your mind and wrote something else instead, so you put a line through the first thing to leave the ammendment. For example:

"I found Disney World a load of old bollocks", then thinking that's a bit harsh so changing it to "I found Disney World not to my taste". It would look like "I found Disney World a load of old bollocks not to my taste. Get it?

People who write posts on Facebook such as "recommendations for places to eat in London, go..." Like we will all be gagging to help them out.

Also on selling sites when people say "need gone ASAP" well give it to charity if it's that desperate that you get rid of it.

Strikethrough is totally intuitive if you're even remotely concentrating, and also occasionally snarky, both or which make it vair vair MN a very useful feature which should be more widely available across other social media platforms.

It is also very useful for describing one's relations, thus: My FIL is coming for lunch on Sunday. Do you think we should have arsenic beef or strychnine pork?

Drivers who sit at lights/junctions with their foot brakes on. Put your handbrakes on you bastards, I don't want my retinas burned out with your brake lights (especially bad at night) And those drivers who stop at lights but creep forward inch by inch. Put your brake on an keep still FFS!

Fanny someone I used to be Facebook friends with always used to post things like "Wot time is X shop open till???" or "duz any1 no if X school event is on 2nite???". Fucking Google it, contact the school or just pay attention in general. I deleted her.

Ticks all the boxes is another one. People on property programmes say it a lot. Whilst I'm on the subject, what is wrong with people who cannot see past the decor of a house?! "It needs a lot of work." It needs you to stop being so fucking lazy and pick up a paintbrush.

Oh, I have another. My DH refuses to use a wooden spoon to stir anything, his utensil of choice being a metal fork. He has spent the last 10 fucking minutes stirring a saucepan of soup with a fork and thus making a KRRR KRRRRR KRRRRRR KRRRRR sound that is making me want to throw the hot soup over his head. FFS.

"Enter your PIN number'

Enter my Personal Identification Number Number? Yeah ok then
ARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! I accept I may be VVVVU about this.

In fact 'pop' in pretty much any context.

'Pop of colour'
'Pop this on please'
'Pop it in the post'
'Fizzy pop'
'Pop music'

GAAAAH

I see and use strikethrough as a written version of 'did I say that outloud'?

People who've never had a job in their lives, but within weeks of finding work, start looking down on benefits claimants

(SIL has currently had her job for 6 weeks...has been Facebook posting how unfair it is 'her taxes' pay for the unemployed for the last 4 of them!)

Work colleagues who decide to engage in a conversation with me as I am logging of and putting my coat on to go home. I dread saying 'well no I don't really have much planned for tonight...... how about you?'......... I just know I will still be there 10 mins later despite looking bored, pointing one foot to the door and constantly looking at my watch. Just let me go home ffs

HelsBels there is a line in a U2 song referring to an ATM machine...I shout at it every single time.

Lionsledge I get a terrible urge to push those statue people over and run away, they don't actually annoy me but the temptation to shove one may prove too strong some day.

My mother is incapable of watching a film or programme without saying somebody looks like a member of the family. The fact that apart from both being human and male/female they are not remotely alike does not bother her, it drives me to the point of shrieking.

I accept all of these along with previous posts suggest I am very unreasonable. I don't care. I love this thread!

"Feeling Blessed" in a Facebook status - RAGE

People who stand in a massive queue at the boarding gate for flights with allocated seating.

You're going to be on it for 11 hours. You have a seat. You're at the gate. It is not going to leave without you.

HelsBels3000 - I've never noticed that about pin numbers. Goody, another thing to rage about.

TheBeanpole omg flying generally pisses me off. The manic queuing is dreadful. I have refused to fly Ryanair for the past 4 years because I can't handle the stress levels it brings about in me.

My DH has an intensely annoying habit of propelling himself at great speed through crowds when we're walking through any public transport areas completely forgetting he's travelling with anyone else.

My DP washing the dishes then putting them on the draining board covered in soapy bubbles. JUST RINSE THE FUCKERS.

Anyone attempting to talk to me over breakfast. Go. Away.

Veggietabulls - my mil says this and I want to physically shake her every time.

My DH calls sneezing 'coughing' . It's very confusing - sneezing is sneezing and coughing is coughing. He's Brummie - not sure if this is a regional thing?

People who eat in public.

People who smoke in public.

My neighbour's barking dog.

School gate mums who look straight through me even though we have met/talked before. No, don't worry, I don't want to be your best friend - but at least have the decency to look me in the eye, and even (gasp) smile. Unfriendly feckers.

YY to elephant-sounding nose blowers. One has moved to my workroom, and has frequent allergies which necessitate the nose-blowing. Oh joy.

I also want to thank Helsbels for alerting me to the tautologous PIN number, a cause of irritation that that had passed me by. Until now.

Now I think of it, HIV virus gets on my threepennies.

There are so many.

People buying me clothes as gifts. They never fit / are never my taste and go straight from gift wrap to charity bag.

MIL thriftiness. I know it makes economic and environmental sense but it drives me insane!! No lights on during the day even when it's gloomy and dark. Ditto the heating. No Tupperware - just old coleslaw and yoghurt pots with random plastic circles on top. No hankies bought ever - just kitchen towel to blow your nose on. No showers, just a bath twice a week. Saving every single scrap of food through the week, then serving up 'leftover curry' on the last day - containing half a beef burger picked out of the bun? Two slices of tomato with the mouldy bits cut off?

Adults eating food intended for kids. Yes I'm looking at you BIL, scarfing down a buzz lightyear ice cream in the middle of the afternoon and leaving only two when you know full well there are three children in the house, including one of your own...

And snacking. No wonder the UK has a massive obesity problem, people just never stop eating and shops peddle so much crap food.