Would you/has anyone send their parents to care home

[Fabmum24]

The reason I ask is I'm a mum, and spend my entire day running after them, so I'm thinking my mum did the same for all of us and never complained, and now that she needs us, should we send her on her own to be looked after by strangers. What would you do or have done, I appreciate it.

None of my grandparents or my DH's and my parents went into a home. It nearly did for one aunt and for me. I'll be going into a home or I pray for a Dignitas type solution here in the UK, my own DCs will not be burdened by me.

My grandmother ended her days in a long term ward in hospital, no-one judged my Mum for her being there. She needed the medical care. When she went into hospital my grandfather went to live with my parents. Mum looked after him for several years before he went into a care home. Mum had 'friends' say to her they would never do what she had done and would never 'abandon' them in a home .

By the end of the time when se was caring for him at home she was getting very little sleep because he would wake in the night and soil himself and smear it around the room as so she'd have to get up, clean him and clean the room as well. He had a daily (private) carer who looked after him while Mum was at work. It was very hard for Mum (physically exhausting and emotionally draining) and he was considered bottom of the list for a place in the care home because he was being cared for by family so wasn't at risk. She said it was like looking after a 16 stone baby, except this baby could do less and less every day and there was only one end and it wasn't a happy one. He was much happier in the home and so was Mum, the home was very close to her work so she popped in every day at lunchtime to see him.

Doctor - i did not say you did anything wrong. My dad has dementia. When he gets worse I know he will have to go into a home.

There's so much guilt around this, but the fact is, even round the clock care at home isn't going to be safe for some people. My mum had dementia and was wondering about in her nightie at all times of the day and night, even with an alarm on the door and carers - she wasn't safe.