My garden is not a toilet

[GingerMerkin]

For the second time in a week I have looked out of my front window to see a woman allowing her child to go to the toilet in my front garden. The first time I was surprised and revolted but thought these things happen and DC might have been taken short. Think it is a bit much for the same thing to happen again within the week, same woman and same child. I have got the rage big time and am contemplating either ripping the mum multiple arseholes so I can use her as a sprinkler system or chucking a bucket of water over her.

WWYD wise MNers.

I'd have a fit if someone did this!

Shout at her next time (the mother, not the little 'un obvs)

I've had this happen, my house is set well back off the road and people would nip behind our front wall behind a tree and relieve themselves and yes it stank.
We got to the stage where we had a bucket of water by the back door. I approached some bloke with bucket and suggested he wash away where he had been or I would chuck it over him. DS2 actually chucked a bucket of water over two drunken females who were relieving themselves.

We grew a very prickly hedge!

"Can I help you?"

"I'm sorry she was caught short."

"I wouldn't mind if it was a one off but I've seen that you have allowed her to do this in my garden on three occasions now you skanky cow. Please note I have CCTV installed and if this happens again I shall report you and provide the footage."

I can't believe anyone can think it OK to do this.

I would have to open the door and speak to her.

The henge by the T at the tenth hole at my golf club reeks in the summer

Could you put a noisy alarm on your gate, the sort that would give an earsplitting shriek when she tried to open it, thereby really drawing attention to her?

Google alarm padlocks for a start. And have your phone ready to video her reaction

Can you stop the woman and child entering by securing the gate? You would only need a bike chain and padlock, or a bolt and lock. You might only need to use them until the mother gets the message. Or you could go out and lean on your gate when they are due to pass, so that they have to keep walking.

I agree it's the principle, they are using your private property inappropriately, and it is teaching the child that they can do as they like. God knows there are enough things available for emergency toilet situations, if she knows the child can't wait until they get home she should have something in her bag like a potette liner; or a small bin liner with some sheets of kitchen roll for absorbency.

Get a sign.
PRIVATE PROPERTY
TRESPASSERS
WILL BE SOAKED

And then get a super soaker. Will work for the woman who thinks she can take her child anywhere to piss. As well as unsolicited sales people.

YANBU. You have reminded me though about something I saw last year... I was driving on a dual carriageway through a built up area, and I saw a adult/child stopped on the pavement, the child had dropped her pants and was having a poo right there and then. The girl was about 8 or 9!

Oh no this isn't nice for you at all! I'm an estate agent and there is a woman who pulls over and gets her toddler out every morning about 8am (I guess on the school run with older dc) and has her pee down the manhole/drain which is at the bottom of our offices' front step. We have huge glass windows and it's obvious we are all sat at or desks or in our morning meeting and can see.. Weird

possum that anyone can do that. Have you told her.

What a weirdo. I can't believe some people are saying this is fine because it's good for your plants.

I'd lob a bucket of freezing water over both of them from a height if they did it again.

Dirty bastard

Aero no my manager doesn't want to embarrass the children

I'd put a sign on the gate (passive aggressive me)

"This garden is not a public toilet"

If nothing else it gives the neighbours something to talk about.

Alternatively, if they're opening the gate, smear marmite on it (or something equally sticky, brown and rank - of course it needs to be wipeable for you to remove later )

This happened near me last summer and the home owner ran out with an axe. Unsurprisingly he got arrested. Don't do that.

Around this time of year is good for pruning large shrubs, that might put off the mother and kid if there isn't much to hide behind. Also plant something prickly where the child usually goes, holly or mahonia.

So you want to aim for a reaction somewhere between a polite notice and an axe attack.

That gives you a fair amount of scope OP.

:o malcojida

The alarm idea is a great one thank you will google those. I work from home so can set up camp by the window for the next few days and hope to catch them 'in the act'. I would not of course be horrible - well maybe just a little bit.

The lady across the road has seen them she says and thinks she knows where they live so if nothing else works a visit from a community police officer might do the trick.

Take a picture of the mother and place it on your local facebook. Asking does anyone know this disgusting parent is, who lets their child wee in someone's garden.