Unvaccinated children around newborn

[Foldback]

I don't want to clog the other post here but I wondered what peoples thoughts are.

I'm currently pregnant. My closest friend chooses not to vaccinate her children aged 2 and 6 and has done this since pregnancy, both children attend nursery. Although I wouldn't make the same decision I don't want to debate her reasoning or the pros and cons of vaccination, there has been plenty of that on the other thread.

I have tried to research the possible risks but feel I'm stumbling in the dark on google. AIBU to not allow her / her children to have contact with my DS until he is able to receive his immunisations or am I being PFB?

I agree with lljkk. Your baby could contract things from non-immune adults too

This is such silly reasoning. It's like saying oh you could still be hurt in a car crash with a seat belt on, so don't bother with a seat belt. You're safer with a seat belt than not, and you're safer keeping away from unvaccinated children than not. You can't get rid of all risks but you can keep away from the unnecessary ones.

Foldback, of course it's fine to avoid your friend until your dc has been vaccinated.

As you go through life you may meet other unvaccinated children or adults and not know, so the risk may not always be as clear as it seems now. Unvaccinated people do not go round with a sign on their head advertising the fact.

I think you just have to as unemotionally as possible say that you'd love her to visit on her own when baby's born (I'm assuming she had her vacs as a child) but if she would prefer to wait until baby has had its first vacs at x weeks so she can bring her children too then you understand.
That way the choice is hers as to when she visits rather than you telling her she can't IYSWIM?

If she questions why then you can say it's because you are choosing to vaccinate so would prefer to wait until x weeks before introducing the baby to those who choose differently.

YANBU. I would not allow them to visit. If she is that selfish and irresponsible, then she has to live with the consequences of not getting her DC vaccinated. It's one thing bringing your baby out for lunch or wherever but to knowingly invite unvaccinated children around to see your baby would be insane.

And I would be waiting til your baby has received ALL jabs before seeing her DC - that includes mmr.

Janet, most adults are not immune to whooping cough and were not vaccinated against the things we vaccinate against today eg hib as lljkk mentioned.

I don't now why people assume that unvaccinated children are carrying all these diseases around just waiting to infect he vulnerable but don't give a second thought to all the non-immune older children/adults that you come into contact with every day.

I stopped going to an attachment parenting group when I realised many of them weren't vaccinated.

No 1 child was incredibly Ill with whooping cough (pre maternity jabs) and I was super vigilant.

bumbley you haven't understood the reasoning, and you post is illogical.

I thought newborns had immunity from their mothers? My husband had an awful cold when ds was born and the midwife said not to worry, he wouldn't catch it. He was 10 months old and going to nursery before he got ill.

However, does that immunity get transferred if you are immune via a vaccine rather than the illness?

A newborn baby will come into contact with few people other than those the parents choice to bring them into contact with. It's not like older children at toddler groups and pre-schools. By the time most children are being routinely in the close company of unvaccinated unknown children (being touched by/close enough to have the other child sneeze over them for example), most parents who do want to vaccinate will have done so.

I'm not sure about the only banning kids argument. I wasn't vaccinated against whooping cough so would you ban me from your house?

Why would you only ban my son if he had not been vaccinated (he has).

We know people with unvaccinated children they invite us round but I won't go until ds 9 months has had all his I'm not letting someone's stupidity risk my child.

I avoided my own brother's children (who hadn't had mmr) after an initial see the new baby meeting for this very reason.

she sounds very foolish and unable to assess risk sensibly - usually the case with anti-vaxxers unless there is a damn good reason not to vaccinate a child.

so - consequences. Not vaccinating is a risk to others too, and thus is only suitable for those who live on a desert island. Refuse all invites and social contact with her and her kids until your baby is born and vaccinated.

BTW I bet she is vaccinated and thus protected!!

I wouldn't want unvaccinated children around my newborn. It just isn't worth the risk. I also don't understand how anyone could live with themselves if their unvaccinated child passed on a disease to a child too young for vaccination - and their own child was fine, but the other child died or was left permanently disabled. I would not be able to look at myself in the mirror ever again.

Wonder if the anti vaxxers have ever had experience of these diseases? Dh randomly caught mumps in his early twenties he went from fit and healthy to wiped out for over a month. My granny was deaf in one ear from measles as a child.

My son contracted whooping cough at 5 weeks from most likely an un immunised child when doing the school run. My older children were immunised and never contracted whooping cough from baby ds who was quite poorly for a long while.
I would be wary of your friend's children tbh knowing how easily ds was infected.

As the parent of unvaccinated children, if a friend chose to keep her baby away from them until they'd had their vaccines, i wouldn't mind. its her baby and she has to do as she sees best by her child, the same as I do.

Regarding maternal antibodies giving the newborn protection - this is true to an extent, however this is variable, idiosyncratic, is less protective than the baby's own antibodies, and wanes over time.

Breastfeeding can help maintain this protection, but again, it isn't perfect.

I wouldn't be letting them near us. Risk/benefit firmly falls on the side of avoidance here.

She is within her rights not to vaccinate her children, and so are you to refuse to have them around your newborn until your child has been vaccinated. That's your position and she can hardly argue it unless she wants to invite comment on her choices?

side

Excuse me but don't dare call me irresponsible for getting pregnant. If you must know I couldn't have the mmr top up when I was 15 so I had some immunity to it but not complete. I explained this to the midwives at my first appointment and they booked me in for an mmr in pregnancy later on. I caught it before I could have the vaccine.

I wasn't able to have it, and the little boy was too young to have it. Two unvaxxed children catch it and a pregnant woman and baby end up with it. Hardly fair to the two of us who couldn't be vaccinated is it?

the consequences of rubella in a child is negligible

Not if the child is still in utero