To wonder if holidays with small children are a waste of time and money?

[Waitrosesaysimessential]

We have two small kids, 2 and 4, and are just back from a short break at a family hotel. Whenever we go away, first few nights they always struggle to settle in new beds, so we are all tired during the days. Their behaviour gets bad and us parents are grumpy and any issues are heightened. Is it just me or is it pointless bothering to go away? Maybe we would just be better staying home til they are 7/8? Everyone else always seems to have such a fantastic time...or are they fibbing?

Just reread the OP and see it was a short break.

OP, I like holidays with young DC but not short breaks. I think it needs at least a week and ideally 10 days plus to be enjoyable. Otherwise there is far too much packing, travelling and settling time for the amount of time actually there.

Took DD away for the first time when she was 4 months old - long haul. Haven't stopped. At 5 she loves a night in a hotel almost more than anything. It's probably harder to get her to go to sleep at home to be honest! We've done at least 8 foreign trips with her, plus countless trips to visit family (hotel stays) and business trips with her in tow. Even used to take her baby hammock with us for her to sleep in. It's very easy now.

We're the same Janet. We've always followed a more meditteranean approach.

Janet your children's adaptability is not because you didn't force a routine. You didn't have to have a routine because you got naturally adaptable (and sleep loving) children. Lucky you

It's hard for me to say, so it sure as hell is impossible for you to say! DC2 didn't sleep through the night until he was 4 (long term illness) and still doesn't sleep that well. But, sleeps better on holiday, probably due to being hotter and busier?
I would say 50% of my children are "naturally adaptable". The other 50% just have to lump it, frankly.

They sleep anywhere, stay up late, eat out really well....but we've always been very relaxed about routines, never forced patterns on them as such, so maybe that helps

I read this as you saying that the reason your kids adapt well on holiday is because you didn't force a routine. The implication being that if parents stick to a routine, and their kids don't adapt well, it's their fault for being too rigid. (Whereas IME parents who stick rigidly to a routine do so because they know their kids would be even worse without it). If that's not what you were saying then I apologise, I am oversensitive when it comes to sleep issues!

Holidays can be hard with young children because you're in an unfamiliar area, don't have all your home comforts and toys, and their routine can get messed up. Last year we went to Portugal; DD napped in the car every day on the way back from the beach and didn't sleep until very late at night.

We live in the Midlands so regular day trips to the beach are not really an option. I also really enjoy getting away and having a change of scenery and, depending on where we go, some warm weather. We've done one holiday in Devon with the extended family which worked well as the children had their older cousins for company.

No, no judgement or comment about rigidity. Routines work really well for some people. Just idly wondering if people find holidays more difficult if they do have stricter routines, that may work well at home but are then difficult to adapt on holidays?
I think mine sleep as well or better on holiday, but thats not anything I did, its just the way its worked. I may find the latest addition to be totally different, who knows?

Well if you want a holiday most of us can't afford any other option but to bring them. It's nothing like a holiday but at least it's not here.

I bloody love to travel so was looking forward to taking mine away...which I did. By the age of 10 he didn't want to go anywhere, hated going away and likes being at home with friends. Another thing on list including Minecraft, techno music and cauliflower which I don't understand.

This sums up my experience of family holidays.

We're getting better at them though. The latest one had a suite, good wifi, indoor pool pretty much to ourselves. My only real failure was not checking out the room service menu before booking. DD likes to get spaghetti bolognese from room service and it wasn't an option. I hadn't tried room service until I was 18, so I think we're doing ok.

My holiday style has been very influenced by a family friend saying 'I never go on holiday anywhere less comfortable than home'. It does make finding an affordable holiday let a pita.

We always tended to do self catering anyway, so it made sense to continue with that with DCs, particularly in the food exclusion allergy phase...

When the DCs were 3.5 and 18m, I was ready to be looked after for a change so we did a week away all inclusive. The resort didn't have enough of interest that was suitable for our family, but it was great not having to plan food for a week! We strategically booked a family suite with two rooms so we could put the DCs to bed then relax.

At 2 and 4 we felt ready to return to the world of camping which was great. They loved that. Oddly being stuck in and cooking feels better within a tent than it does in other accommdation.

I remember the "same shit, different location" feeling from the caravan when they were 4m and 2y. We enjoyed going and doing different things, so it was worth it for that, but there's no way around getting a break from night feeds and nappy changes at that stage.

It is getting more rewarding as DS1 remembers more of his experiences. He still reminices about the jeep trip when he was 3!

My 3 year old lives for holidays. But we are lucky and he travels very well. So far he's been to Cornwall 6 times, London 4 times. Ireland 3 times Spain once, Florida and on a caribbean cruise (Haiti,Jamaica and Mexico) we also travel to the south coast Manchester and various other UK hotels to visit friends and family. BUT he is a much better sleeper when we are away because he is knackered with the fresh air and likes sleeping in our room. He is a crap sleeper at home. So easier for us away. If it was harder and he got upset by being away don't think we would bother anywhere near as much. Easiest holiday was the cruise when he was 2, great childcare for couple of hours a day loads to do in a compact environment and constant sea air great for sleep

We've had some lovely family holidays - been going abroad once or twice a year since our twins were 9 months old (they're now 4.5). We always go self catering, not a hotel - sleeping arrangements easier when you have proper seperate rooms (and they do sleep anywhere - sorry!), and can make picnics to eat on the beach. I spend hours researching location to make sure we are walking distance from restaurants and ideally from the beach (if not then we hire a car). Usually spend all day either at pool or on the beach. Tend to eat in and out on alternate nights and scrap the routine. Worst part is probably the flights - last one was an overnight 8 hours which was 3 hours delayed so they weren't in the best of moods when they got on the plane but soon dropped off to sleep.

We've dragged our dd's everywhere with us.
I once came back from Oz on my own when dd's were 2and a half and 14months.
We've done AI, most of the time with kids club.
They sleep really well, especially on the plane.
I think it's because they're used to it. If we're not away on holiday, we'll go away for a weekend somewhere.
Someone once said to us to make our dc portable ie; make sure you can take them everywhere with you.

All inclusive can either be amazing or a bloody nightmare! We went on our first AI holiday last year and the tripadvisor page had rave reviews for the food. It was all English crap. Who wants a roast dinner covered in gravy in 30 degree weather? But my DS was happy that he got chicken nuggets.

DS doesn't care much about going abroad. I was hoping he'd be a bit more adventurous and excited by new places. He likes the pool and that's about it. Oh well.

We decided that going abroad with kids that age wouldn't be worth it - airports are hell in summer without adding whiny children to lots of queues and delays! So have gone for lots of self-catering around the UK, often with other families (which can be a nightmare - choose very carefully!), and it's been lovely.

First time we had a 18mo and 2yo and went to the Isle of Wight. "Ah, you'll want an enclosed garden," said the company with cottages. "Do we?" "Yes. Trust me." They loved toddling round a near-empty house, we enjoyed wine and books.

We stock up on food the kids like and lovely ready meals and deli food for the adults, and chill out as much as one can with small kids. We do hotels sometimes and it's never nearly as good as having an apartment where kids have their own space (and can watch CBeebies while adults wake up!)

Now have 4,7,8yo and planning to go abroad for this summer's holiday, having done one flight with them. Though dd loved the hot tub in the garden last year in Dorset and wants that again...

Yanbu.

Holidays with children are no holiday.

The key thing for me that makes it worthwhile is the time together without any distractions. Even if I spent the time off work at home, I'd be busying myself with jobs around the house, or visiting friends and relatives. Summer holidays for me are two weeks of being completely free of everyday life

This, this, and this again.
Holidays are a time to never look at your watch and to actually spend time together as a family. Of course, having small dc with you at any time is not going to be a complete rest. Having a holiday with small dc is never going to be the same as holidays pre-dc, but they can still be great times - you just need to adjust your expectations somewhat.

Hijacking the thread slightly- I'm currently considering whether or not to fork out to take the 3 DCs (5, 6, 10) away this summer on my own (maybe AI for a week somewhere like Spain). Not done it before, no other adult who could come with me. Worried that it'll be 10x harder away from home where i can just about hold it all together and I'll end up counting down the hours til we come home! And be £2k worse off! Anyone done anything similar and can tell me it'll all be ok?!!

Many others have said this, but you just have to change your expectations of a holiday with small children - it can't be the same as preDC. Mine are also 2 and 4 and the noise and energy is constant, mostly in a lovely way, but it IS tiring. We go self catering in Devon for two weeks and try to spend as much time outside as possible. The only problem is when the weather is bad - last year we went to soft play twice out of desperation, which is NOT how I like to spend my time off!

The important thing for me is for the DC to experience somewhere different and fun - for us, this is a beach holiday, which they absolutely love. We don't live anywhere near the beach so it's a real novelty. The benefit of a holiday for DH and I is to step away from routine and not do any housework or work for the whole time. We spend every evening together, relaxing (although obviously we can't go out) whereas at home we end up doing chores or just watching TV because we're so tired. Although it's self catering, we have more treaty and prepared foods.

I agree that short breaks are harder work if your children are not very adaptable. We've stayed in a Premier Inn for the odd weekend and we've hardly had any sleep all in one room, and we still seem to end up carting round loads of stuff.

I would love a AI holiday abroad somewhere sunny! If we had the money I'd go in a flash!

They sleep anywhere, stay up late, eat out really well....but we've always been very relaxed about routines, never forced patterns on them as such, so maybe that helps

Ah, I was a go anywhere, eat anywhere, sleep anywhere, child. Unfortunately I was not a 'stay up late' child... Many many family meals on holiday were taken with my sleeping across my parents lap :-)