To wonder if holidays with small children are a waste of time and money?

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We have two small kids, 2 and 4, and are just back from a short break at a family hotel. Whenever we go away, first few nights they always struggle to settle in new beds, so we are all tired during the days. Their behaviour gets bad and us parents are grumpy and any issues are heightened. Is it just me or is it pointless bothering to go away? Maybe we would just be better staying home til they are 7/8? Everyone else always seems to have such a fantastic time...or are they fibbing?

I am with OP...compete waste of money holidays with my dds when they were little...they didn't enjoy being out of their normal enviroment, DexH and i just got more and more tense as i worked ft and so did he and we competed over who was more tired and who needed break from kids more....no fun being on kid duty while partner lies in sun...girls always wanted me even when with dad and he would not even try to distract them...etc etc....

I wish we had stayed at home, not wasted the money and once a year gone on a break just adults for proper rest .

Kids clubs only worked once they were 10 and 5 and we discovered activity holidays were we could all do sport/activites spearately during the day and meet up for meals, pool time etc in small bouts.

the problem is holidays carry huge huge expectations....perfect happy families all being together ...bleugh....especially if you are not used to this.

one memorable trip to australia i threatened to throw everyone off the manly ferry as just was not used to being with them all 24/7 for two weeks.

Don't stay in hotels. Much more fun in rented accommodation. More space and you can relax more.

Our kids are 2.6 and 9m. We just came back from center parcs and although the big boy enjoyed it, the whole thing was way more stress than staying at home when you include packing, travelling etc
We were thinking of going away this summer but i don't think I can face it.
We are going to ask gps to look after them for the weekend so we can have a grownup weekend away instead.

For some positivity:

We had a lovely holiday when DC were 2 and 4, in Mallorca.

We rented an apartment, walking distance to the beach, with a communal pool - and we went in April, so it didn't get stiflingly hot.

Walking to the beach - playing on the beach - paddling in the water - going for a swim were enough to keep the children happy! And whilst we didn't get much time as a couple, nor leisurely dinners, coffees or culture, we did get some rest - because in Spain, everyone has to have a nice siesta!

This was 3 years ago, and DC still ask when we can go back!

A holiday window opened for us in October when DS1 was 5 and DS2 was 5 months, so I leapt at it and we did 10 days in France, which was mostly great (although DS2 did get kicked out of the Cave of Lascaux for being insufficiently reverent ).

That's it for the next 3 years or so, I reckon. Might as well not bother now until DS2 starts to gain some tiny inklings about personal safety.

We've just got the one child which probably does make things easier. We have been abroad (flown) with her when she was 19 months old and 2.11 months old. It isn't hugely relaxing, as with most things involving kids, but we enjoyed it, she enjoyed it and we are going away again this summer. We choose hotels that have two bedroomed family rooms so that she gets her sleep and we don't need to creep about. She is almost 3.5yrs now and can entertain / play by herself well now so we are hoping this summer she will do the same on the beach on holiday for parts of the day so we can relax a bit

3 DCs, what worked for us was campsites in France. At first we took our own tent then eventually when funds allowed we progressed to mobile homes.

Campsites meant that DCs could enjoy playgrounds, swimming pools, lizard hunting. When the DCs were small we made the deal that no trip out was longer than half a day with the promise of swimming pool/playground/ice cream in the afternoon.

DCs are now 20, 17 and 16 and still have lovely memories of exploring castles, standing stones and markets.

When the DCs were small at the end of each holiday we would say to ourselves 'next year will be easier' and it was.

I love it. Love seeing them in a change of scenery, discovering new things. Bedtime may be later but so is ours.

Our first holiday with DD was a shock as well - I don't know why we thought it would be a relaxing break when the thing we most needed a break from had travelled all the way there with us!

But holidays are still worth doing. Separate bedrooms and child-friendly accommodation are a must, plus lots of activities on hand that will distract them. For us, now, it's a swimming pool suitable for tinies, waterslides, a playground and no more than a five minute walk to a suitable selection of ice creams and a takeaway. But I hope that will evolve as they get older - I look forward to bike rides and long walks, and perhaps a bit of canoeing.

We've started to build in day trips that the adults can enjoy. Last year we did Barcelona and this year we'll do Venice. It can be a distinct hassle dragging tired children around a city but the alternative would be either to not go or to make elaborate arrangements for an adults-only weekend away.

The key thing for me that makes it worthwhile is the time together without any distractions. Even if I spent the time off work at home, I'd be busying myself with jobs around the house, or visiting friends and relatives. Summer holidays for me are two weeks of being completely free of everyday life.

We enjoy going on holiday with ds (older but disabled so developmentally a toddler). We stick to self catering and pick where we are going based on what he likes doing and stick to his routine as regards to sleeping, eating etc. Term time center parcs is good. We have also stayed in caravans and cottages in the UK. We wouldn't do city breaks, anywhere hot or anything that involves flying. We get less sleep than normal but since we do only short breaks it is only for a few days.

Thanks so much for your replies! Wasn't expecting so many. Glad I am not alone in my thinking...and i really wish I were laid back but unfortunately I am not...am trying my best but it does not come naturally. Thanks

I have non sleepers but we have always loved going away since they were tiny. I'll bear the disruption for my week of sun/sightseeing. The girls loved it too.

I've mainly enjoyed the holidays we've had so far (DCs 7 and 5), but not always relaxing ofcourse.
The best holiday was when they were 4 and 2 we spent 10 days in an apartment in Berlin in the summer. The weather was nice, and we did a few museums, but mostly let the kids play in the amazing parks they have whilst we read a book. we would sometimes take turns in playing with the kids while the other read, and sometimes they just played with the other kids.

One thing I don't like doing on holiday is being in a car in the heat with kids. So we try to minimise that and choose holidays that don't require a car.

Oh God. I'm one of those irritating posters with the opposite experience.

We've been taking DD abroad for 2 weeks every year since she was 11 months old.

The first one was the worst - but only because we chose the wrong hotel. It was cramped, cold and too busy. Even then we still had a good time. Since then we've only gone 4* and with good reviews. We've had one holiday where it rained a lot, but the hotel had lots of indoor areas so there was still stuff to do.

I suppose it depends on the child. We go AI because luckily DD isn't a fussy eater - but even then, if she only ate chips and ice cream for 2 weeks I wouldn't worry. It's only 2 weeks.

We don't bother with bedtimes. When she was smaller she napped in the buggy if needed. We all had an afternoon nap. She went to bed with us when we did.

DH and I took turns to entertain her - pool, lilo, boat, bucket and spade, watering can. 2 hour 'shifts' whilst the other read/relaxed/whatever.

Kids clubs - 2 hours free time every day.

We also took a beach bag full of 'stuff' for her to do during boring moments (at night in a bar, quiet time in the room, the plane and travelling) - Easy craft kits from tesco. Paper, colouring books, pens. Play doh. That sort of thing. Later on I made sure my old phone was loaded with games that she could play. Now she has an iPad and a kindle.

We chose hotels with kids clubs, mini discos, playgrounds and party games. We took part in all of them! We looked for AI hotels that used to be SC - they tended to have better rooms or separate bedrooms.

When she got older we chose hotels with waterparks or Holiday Village type places. Lots of things for her to do so lots of relaxing for us. Last year DD was 10 and we worked in a couple of shopping days and 'history' days (easy to do in Greece!).

I'm more concerned about the teenage years TBH. I reckon that is going to be harder.

We have a 16mo and a 4yo. All our holidays with them are self catering UK breaks. Yes, we still do the daily stuff if making food/nappies/naps/laundry but the fact we have a beach 50 yards away or a forest to explore makes it worth it. We are also lucky enough to have kids that like their bed ata nice early half six so dh and I can bbq in the garden or just sit out with a few drinks or watch a movie. Essentially what we do at home but no work and no daily grind.

Every now and again we do a one nighter at a hotel to visit a zoo or family and we always pick one with a pool and expect not to have a great nights sleep but the purpose of the visit is always worth it.

No abroad sun breaks for us til we are put of nappies and they can walk everywhere.

Nope I love holidays abroad and want my kids to experience it too! Went away last year with 9 month old and 12 year old, had a fab time in Spain! I prefer all inclusive so I don't have to prepare food or clean up after! Much more relaxing than being at home! No bedtime for the baby but one night I went to bed with her at 9pm because she was shattered! She even enjoyed noisy outside bars and live music! Had a brilliant time and next holiday planned is October to Portugal and this time I will have a 10 week old and a 22 month old. We will continue to go abroad every year but stick to short flights and all inclusive style beach holidays.

We've done a bit of everything. Taking DD abroad (Europe) when she was 15 weeks old with our inlaws was the easiest holiday we've had! Wasn't too hot, ten minutes of swimming exhausted her and we had babysitters!

DD is almost 2 and we've been on 5 overseas trips with her (shorthaul) and think having a little kitchen does make things easier, as does a separate area for her to sleep. We've also done a cottage in the UK but I found that the most stressful as we ended up cooking lots. Although it was nice to throw everything in the car and set off without worrying about overweight luggage!

We try to find a balance. We're just back from a city break which was a different experience to ones in the past but we did/saw things we wouldn't usually do. In a couple of months we're booking into a hotel with childcare which (if she's happy to go) she's booked into for the morning session to give us some downtime. We love holidays and I think for us the positive points of taking her away outweigh the bad, so we think it's worth it. Plus she has always been a good sleeper which I know makes a big difference.

I wonder if some of the people who struggle so much with children on holiday are the ones with quite rigid routines? I've been taking my children away since the first was weeks old, now the fourth is only weeks old and we are going away soon.
They sleep anywhere, stay up late, eat out really well....but we've always been very relaxed about routines, never forced patterns on them as such, so maybe that helps? Holidays with young children aren't as relaxing as those without, but they are relaxing all the same. Long lazy sunny days swimming and playing and visiting new places...love it!

I just love seeing the kids I'm different world's. Mine are 3 under 3 but we're taking them for 2 weeks to a villa this year. I can't wait. I always find they have a big developmental leap after a break away, it really does expand their minds (new routines, different languages, different experiences, different weather and atmosphere....). My son still talks about our holiday in France when he was 2 last year.

Also I've never seen such pure joy as when we got back home and he rediscovered his toys!

Just a load of lovely memories. Even when they are tiny.

Same shit different place. Indeed. Every year I promise myself a grown up holiday to get over our family holiday. It's not because we don't enjoy it, it's just so full on.

YABU if you think it's a waste of time or money to your kids. Imagine how many of those holidays our parent's took us on over the years. Some of the best memories of my childhood those are.

I am however looking forward to the day I can go on an adults-only Warner Leisure Hotel break and check for stowaways in my suitcase

Janet I think you're right, we are quite relaxed and our DD is very adaptable, took her to Florida when she was 2 loved it, however bil and sil also came with their 2 yr old and found it very difficult, as they wanted to keep her in the same routine as home, also both worked full time and it was a shock for them having a toddler 24/7 both thought it harder than being at work full time
We have 2/3 holidays a year in our tourer and various weekends away I usually enjoy most of it.

Yes, Janet I agree. We're pretty flexible with DD's routine which I think helps a lot. I have a friend who's DS is in full time nursery and at weekends they stick to his nursery routine too. They struggled on holiday and didn't see the point in it. They're also incredibly strict on bedtime, and wouldn't dream of him being up after 7:05pm

Ours were similarly stressful when kids were small although it was nice to get some sun. They're 5 and 6 now and holidays are generally brilliant. It has been helpful having them so close together because they play together nicely. We tend to take a box of toys wherever we go and colouring pens, paper etc. We also discovered audio books for the car last summer which made the journeys much easier.

Janet we have a routine at home but I don't find breaking the usual routine too much of an issue on holiday. I think kids know the difference between home and away and I found the baby slept better after a day of sunshine and new experiences! I know what you mean though, we do have a routine but it's not 'strict' and I don't get anxious if the rules are broken now and then. I must admit though I find staying at other people's houses (in the UK) more stressful than going abroad! Probably because it's not as relaxing.

I like going on holiday with mine (currently 3.5 and 1). BUT only because

• mine don't sleep at home either so nothing to lose on the sleep front

• we either do AI or go with grandparents, and DH comes obviously, so a much higher ratio of help than I usually have at home

• we go somewhere sunnier than England and I will put up with most things if it's sunny and warm

It bears no relation to the adventurous/sybaritic holidays I had pre DC but it's still a break from the usual daily tedium routine.

Janet your children's adaptability is not because you didn't force a routine. You didn't have to have a routine because you got naturally adaptable (and sleep loving) children. Lucky you.