Child Vandalizing Furniture

[Angrydad1]

Hi All,

First post. Wanted to know if anyone else had experienced their child destroying furniture. My partners son (who is now my son) used keys etc to engrave into numerous pieces of furniture all on separate occassions. He now appears to have outgrown this (a year or so on) but i am left with the every day reminder on over £1000 worth of furniture all which i purchased and occasionally makes me get angry when i see it. It only is me that ever notices these things and frustrates me that while I am at work my partner should have been more proactive. Like i say this is my first post but this keeps winding me up and thought it might be good to get other peoples opinions.

Thanks All- AngryDad

[Boomingmarvellous]

For goodness sake let it go.

If he is now 10 and a reasonable child it's just needs to be put in the past, especially as it's in out of the way places that you didn't see at the time. Just try not to see it now.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

Angry if you're finding things for the first time now, how are you so sure they all happened years ago?

If years ago though, obviously your current anger does nothing but hurt you and your family. Letting it go can be hard. But if he's so good now, maybe focusing on how your acceptance of him (despite his previous poor behaviour) has helped him mature? Try and see these vandalism so as a reminder of how far you've come as a family rather than how "bad" he was?

[RhombusRiley]

I'm a bit worried that you are resentful towards your partner for "allowing" this to happen. If you didn't always notice them immediately, nor will she have. When you have a 7-8yo you are not sitting supervising them non-stop, certainly not if you have a household to run, housework, cooking, cleaning, admin, other children to deal with etc. This suggests you don't have much idea of what looking after younger kids is like and you underestimate the work she has been doing. Give her some credit, if this boy is a well-behaved 10yo (not all are) then she has hardly been letting him run wild. Child-rearing is not easy and yes your home and possessions tend to take a bashing. If you don't let this go, you will come over as someone who cares more about the furniture than the kids.

[TheWrathofNaan]

I think a 7-8 year old knows exactly what they are doing and I would have expected my partner to replace what was damaged especially if it was happening repeatedly!

I too would be irritated every time I saw the damage!

[ohtheholidays]

God I know how you feel OP my oldest did some bloody stupid things when he was around the same age and I was careful to supervise him but I also had his 5 year old and 3 year old brothers and his newborn sister in the house and I was on my own.

If he'd done it to a partners furniture that had cost a lot of money I would have been mortified and I'd had saved up to try and get it repaired or I'd have had to cover the cost to replace it.

Have you had a look online to see if there's anything you can buy to cover the marks?There's alot of different products on the market now(we have lots of solid antique wood furniture and 5DC)B&Q sell a few different types.

[bittapitta]

thewrath yes a 7/8 year old might've known what they were doing but the time to discipline him was then, not two years on.

[Angrydad1]

Sorry Worra not down with the terms. Got to be honest don't know what DP stands for.

For everyone that has given useful tips thanks very much. Like ive said I never go on chat rooms and so this was my way of a little therapy.

[TheWrathofNaan]

Bitta I agree the time to discipline has gone past but the partner should have made it right. I think that can get addressed now.

[Angrydad1]

Hi- Final post as seems to be a couple of very different schools of thought over this.

For those who appear to be haters and who offer nothing but cheap put downs and criticism, I pity you. But I also feel sorry for the future people who you are going to offend who may need to voice something which is troubling them.

For those who have suggested that partner pays for the furniture its not really an option but thanks for the idea ;)

For those who have added helpful and understanding comments- I thank you

Winner of the best post goes to "Schwabischeweihnachtskanne". Helpful and made me feel better.

[DarrenHardysDrongo]

Well that was quickly resolved!

[Nataleejah]

Was it on purpose or was it an accident?
Myself i've caused serious damage to furniture without intention. Like spilt ink, glue, overturned a burning candle, not mentioning scrapes with sharp things. shit happens. Get over it.

[Abed]

I think engraving names is done deliberately...

[ClarenceTheLion]

Children and animals are not natural friends of expensive furniture, sadly! They both fall into the camp of 'exasperating little buggers at times, but we love them anyway!' I recarpeted my house after moving in, and I can remember my cat following the carpet sitter down the stairs, methodically scratching every newly carpeted step. And thanks to her, within a few months, the new carpets looked like ready-to-be-replaced carpets!

Could you take some photos of the damage and post them here? There may be ways to fix the pieces - or at least do something to minimize the damage, or even cover it?

[witsender]

'Haters'? I've seen people disagree with you, but I'm not sure that means they should be disregarded...