AIB "the meanest mum of all" to not let DS have constant computer time when a friend comes over?

[AnotherEffingOrangeRevel]

I need a normality check. DS(9) has a friend over. After 1.5 hours on the play station I've told them to go and do something that isn't computer-based. DS is mortified and angry with me. Apparently they can do whatever they like all the time at his friends' houses, and this means continuous playstation. AIBU?

I'd be the same, tbh. :D

I wonder why there's always a lot if DC's mates at our house?

*of

Sorry but yes YABU. Take a chill pill. I have every fond memories of playing video games with my friends in the 80s < old >

In defence of there being no gaming here, my son is HFA and screens are A Bad Thing in general and are rationed through necessity.

:o

Well, I'm relieved in any case that I'm not the only horrendously mean-spirited parent out there.

But i still feel bad - I may start to over-compensate wildly now by henceforth feeding DS and friends only sherbet dips, and letting them watch overage films all night. That's an excellent plan to get them back on side, right...?

Ooh is it a sleepover?

Gatehouse, I'll fight you for it...

Next time it will be, sparkling. Next time...

When we used to go to a particular friend's house her mum would always boot us out if it wasn't pissing it down with rain. At ours we would sit around in the semi-dark watching tv and listening to music. It's good to learn that not every household is the same, and good to do different stuff at different houses.

Out of interest, those of you who say leave them to it, do your DC self-restrict when it comes to gaming? When mine have friends over, they start playing video games but generally their friends have had enough after 20 mins and want to do something else. My DC (9 and 7) would probably play every waking hour if they could, they just do not get bored. I have to restrict them as they just won't do it themselves - tried it once and 4 hours later they hadn't moved. I find out of my friends, the people who don't worry about gaming are the people whose children will happily come off without too much fuss as opposed to mine where it is a battle every time.

No - I'm meaner - I wouldn't have let them go on it to start with

Gaming has always been something the DC do along with everything else.

When you talk about banning 'screens' that's an awful lot of banning. They watch TV, do their homework on laptops. DS2 and his mate make videos and spend ages editing them-on the computer.

They can tear themselves away though, now they are a bit older they can even turn it all off and go to bed without nagging.

That's good to know. I always assumed they'd get worse with age, maybe they'll actually get better! Interesting that you mention screen bans, that has never been an issue here because they will self-restrict on everything else - they watch TV for a while but then will play with Lego or pokemon cards or draw or write, and the same with YouTube etc, they only have a certain tolerance for it. Get them on a video game though and it's like they've been hypnotised.

I'm with you OP! They come here to play not sit staring at a screen. They either go in the garden or trash the playroom. They make dens, play board games, have a disco etc. Your house, your rules.

Agree with the above. If all their toys are tidied away, they 'don't have anything to do'. But if the big Lego bucket is sitting out, with some half built vehicles... Or if the fancy dress / swords boxes have been pre dragged out from under the beds, they'll happily dive in for a while. But j have to confess that gaming is quieter and less messy!

Also, when they game (usually minecraft or Jurassic world atm) they aren't staring like zombies. They interact all the time - arguing, planning, joking - playing in fact. Just with different toys.

After school friend over I'd leave them alone- feeding time excepted. All day friend over- they get booted outside for an hour or so after lunch.

Me and my friends used to get magazines for the ZX Spectrum and WRITE the games. there were instructions printed and if you wrote them all out in basic and debugged them you could play snake.

And if you made ONE mistake it wouldn't run. Those were the days!

I would have let him have a treat if he had a friend over and stay on the computer the whole time. It's not going to damage him.

I tend to not let mine on any screen when friends come over for long, they normaly end up playing some made up game. I love hearing them getting absorbed in another world. If they are running about too much and doing my head in I find them something to play that's a bit less mental. If it'd an all day or sleepover than they can go on something for an hour but tbh it usually changes the atmosphere and makes them unable to settle in anything after. I don't have a problem with a bit of screen time but they are little for such a short time and playing creates amazing memories with friends. My DSS now 19 often brings up the games he used to play here with friends and want the same for the other kid. Not purely about screens, though a bit because it can be great.

I wonder if this is why so many twenty year olds are so shit at making conversation! Sme obviously are great but at the restaurant my sister has worked at for years she says it is incredibly noticable how over the last decades some young people out together struggle to converse. Some of them sit in their phones most the meal barely speak to each other.