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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIB "the meanest mum of all" to not let DS have constant computer time when a friend comes over?

52 replies

AnotherEffingOrangeRevel · 11/03/2016 18:13

I need a normality check. DS(9) has a friend over. After 1.5 hours on the play station I've told them to go and do something that isn't computer-based. DS is mortified and angry with me. Apparently they can do whatever they like all the time at his friends' houses, and this means continuous playstation. AIBU?

OP posts:
AnotherEffingOrangeRevel · 11/03/2016 18:15

I really don't want him to feel embarrassed and hard done by - should all rules go out the window when a friend comes round? Confused

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 11/03/2016 18:17

What did you have in mind? It's getting dark so presumably not going outside.

I tend to not really interfere when the DSs have a friend round TBH. Let them get on with it.

Vintage45 · 11/03/2016 18:18

I don't get this one.

Leave them alone.

AnotherEffingOrangeRevel · 11/03/2016 18:19

I don't know sparkling. Card games/making something... You're probably right - perhaps I need to be more hands off. Thanks for replying.

OP posts:
HermioneJeanGranger · 11/03/2016 18:20

Ah let them be, it's not everyday.

justwondering72 · 11/03/2016 18:21

Tricky. DS is 8.5 I tend to insist that they do something else for the first hour or so (this usually involves pulling his room apart, plastic sword fights, Pokemon cards, Lego etc ) then a snack with TV on, then they are allowed the iPads for the remaining hour or two. It seems easier to withhold the screen time at the start rather than the end of the play date.

lilone1234 · 11/03/2016 18:21

I'd leave him to it while he has a friend round too tbh, it's not doing any harm when you don't let him have unlimited computer time otherwise. Better than having his friend feel bored/awkward and not come round to play anymore I would say.

Sparklingbrook · 11/03/2016 18:22

I do know what you mean, but if they are having fun on the game, your DS is just enjoying having a friend round on a Friday evening.

He can always do something a bit more constructive tomorrow?

Sparklingbrook · 11/03/2016 18:24

The none PS4 stuff round here usually consists of a very boisterous shouty game of Nerf Wars with YELLING and thundering up and down the stairs/chucking themselves about. Hmm

AnotherEffingOrangeRevel · 11/03/2016 18:26

Thanks, all. I will go with consensus and butt out in future Flowers

OP posts:
itshappenedagain · 11/03/2016 18:28

Your house your rules. Same rules apply here when friend are around. Half an hour if any screen. One of DS friends parents commented she didn't know what I did when he was here but he was exhausted...I just let them play!

AnotherEffingOrangeRevel · 11/03/2016 18:54

Ooh, not complete consensus then. Interesting, itshappened. I feel less guilty than I did as they are laughing their heads off in his room now....

OP posts:
maydancer · 11/03/2016 19:06

half an hour! Half an hour isn't enough time to settle to anything! You'll end up with grasshopper brained kids!

Sparklingbrook · 11/03/2016 19:36

Half an hour isn't even long enough to get your team sorted ready to play FIFA. Shock

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 11/03/2016 19:38

There's usually no gaming here if there are friends over. They can game at home, no point in doing it when you're visiting a friend.

phequer · 11/03/2016 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 11/03/2016 19:47

Gaming with friends is really good fun.

phequer · 11/03/2016 19:49

This reply has been deleted

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Sparklingbrook · 11/03/2016 19:51

Well my teens now play with their friends online complete with call centre stylee headsets if we are having a lax parenting competition. Grin

Vintage45 · 11/03/2016 19:53

I can't fathom all this structure. ( pointless rules) If you make stupid dictating rules about the tv and anything else to do with technology you are heading for a fall. Don't sweat the small stuff.

When my DS's were small the tv was on in the background a lot they either watched it or didn't, their brains aren't "fried" and it hasn't made the slightest bit of difference to their learning.

When my Ds's were given a new game for their xbox or whatever, I knew they would want to use it a lot, then the shine wore off.

When their friends came over of course they did what was current at the time.

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth · 11/03/2016 19:53

Surely gaming with friends is much more fun than gaming alone? I have great memories, albeit as a teenager, of getting together with mates and playing Mario kart or goldeneye :)

The only time I step in re computer games with my children and their friends is if the friend doesn't seem to be enjoying it as much as DS/DD

phequer · 11/03/2016 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 11/03/2016 19:56

YY I feel sorry for the friend on the other end of the mic listening to them chobbling away while they are gaming. Sad

phequer · 11/03/2016 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gatehouse77 · 11/03/2016 20:06

Nooooo I have the title of "meanest mum ever!"

At that age I would make them turn it off for a while and go back on it after supper. Moderation.

My kids could kick up all the stink they like but they'd be putting further chances of friends coming over at risk.