gaaaaah

[Fooshufflewickbannanapants]

A penis is a penis a vulva is a vulva not a willy, a tinkler, a flower,a hoo ha, a tail, a tuppence or what ever! Do you call your elbow an arm bender?! No?! Well stop it with the winky shite then.

Apologies for irreverent use of punctuation, I am now going to take myself off into a dark room and chill the fuck out.

When I was about 7 I and some friends were flashed at. A nice policewoman came to interview me, with my mother present. She was visibly shocked when I used the word penis. My mother had to explain that I'd been brought up with the proper medical words for all our genitalia, they being the topic of regular dinner table conversation (father gynaecologist, mother midwife) since birth. I feel embarrassed when medics use twee words. DH did find dinner at our house a little strange till he got used to it...

Call it whatever you like and let your kids call it whatever they like but also please tell them the 'proper' names...just to avoid ambiguity. During a child protection training course i was told a horrible story about a girl who attended a SEN residential school who had been telling staff that a boy had been touching her penny. Staff pretty much ignored it assuming she meant actual money until she mentioned it her mum at the weekend. Whether it was true or not the thought of it put the fear into me and now my kids very unselfconsciously talk about their penis and vagina.

Stereophonically I nearly said cock but didn't want to be too rude "Ooh I just banged my arm bender" is also going to be used in our house now too.

Team foof here

Ffs, you call it what you like & leave everyone else to do the same
Oh & yes, YABU.

"I like shaking my lettuce thank you."

Well. That's just put me off my salad.

Penis and Vulva here. We do sometimes use the term Vagina as well I know, I know MNet's obsession with vulva vs vagina. DD would often say "my vachina" when very little. Or the term Privates is sometimes used but never winkle, foo foo etc.

TBH I can't think of a time in RL when I have to say any of these words to anyone. Don't really feature in my conversations.

Lol at leg elbows!
My ds was 2.5 when his sister was born, the first time he saw her without a nappy he was hysterical because 'her willy go outside in!'

My Granny (born in 1897) 's advice to young unmarrieds was 'Keep yer 'and on yer 'apenny.Work that bugger out. < still sounds nicer than vulva though > .

it's a bit of a red herring, but if it's any help OP, i love the Mike Harding reference in your NN

To be fair OP we use: tummy, bum, oxters, gob, noggin, bonce etc rather than stomach, buttocks, arm pits, mouth and head.

My children know penis, scrotum, vulva, vagina, clitoris and anus. They don't use any of those terms though.

Neither do I, although the words I use are rather different to the ones my children use.

It's important to know the correct terms, it's not important to use them.

I can never bring myself to say vagina out loud it's one of those words that make you cringe. Like moist I can't say that either. I'm a weirdo I know

This entire thread just made my day!

Arm benders and leg elbows it is!

Everyone here knows all the right words, we just never use them.
Just yesterday I advised my 41 year old husband to not get into a willy waving competition with his opposite number in a different organisation...

I could never call it a tuppence, I'm quite lippy in the nethers and I've got a wayward labia, so it'd be more of a 'quid' than a tuppence if I was to give it a monetary pet name. Which, whilst musing, sounds quite lose to quim. And I only learned that word last year, I'd never heard it before.

2yr old granddaughter has a foo foo, and a botty. She does not say that but we do.

A full nappy is a pooper. She says "done Yuk".

Yogurt with chocolate covered balls in the corner is a "ballnumnums" - hence the name above!

It makes us smile. Using vulva or anus, or faeces with the baby would not.

'Vulva' and 'vagina' are two of the ugliest words every created, closely followed by 'penis'. This is why people come up with alternatives.

Cock, minge, beef curtains, chud, gash, pussy and fanny, dick and knob, all great words

I can't think of anymore, when I was little my fanny was called a twinkle, and my 5yr old calls his penis a winky.

Agree hiddenhome - Vulva makes me think of a volcano erupting for some reason, and given the area that is not a pretty picture.

I dont like the word vulva - its on the list with gusset and moist

Hiddenhome2 and thatsforsure - I totally agree!
Yuk to vulva, moist, gusset, even penis and vagina. Yay to words that make us smile rather than wince. It really starts with teaching our children to be polite and not yell out "Vagina/penis" etc in the middle of the supermarket, no one really minds foo foo, penny or botty.

Hence our alternatives hiddenhome2.

Wonky you are not weird! I hate it too and also discharge.

Both of those cause my toes to curl far more than vagina/vulva or anything else!

Oh yes to discharge I can use it for anything else just not Fanjo related