I'm so scared...might be pregnant.

[MattDillonsPants]

I don't even know why I'm posting this. I'm 43...43! DH and I have two DDs and we weren't planning on more. I don't even know if I AM but listen to what's been going on.

My last period finished on valentines day. We've been having sex using the withdrawl method for the past 8 years without incident...8 years! We're experts at it because I react badly to the contraceptive pill and have a latex allergy. I know there are latex free condoms but we were always very careful indeed.

Well...over the past...maybe 8 days or so I've been feeling the urge to wee a lot. Never even crossed my mind that it might be a pregnancy symptom...I thought maybe it's a UTI or my age!

Then yesterday out shopping I felt very nauseous all of a sudden...not like me at all...then in the evening yesterday I had terrible indegestion...I was actually burping which just isn't me...except when I'm pregnant.

I STILL didn't think anything. Tonight though I was marching off for my millionth wee and DH said "Are you going to the loo again?" and I said yes...I keep going...and then my head went OMG!

I need to get a test. I'm absolutely terrified.

I'm 43.

I have two kids! DH said not to worry until I know for sure...the other thing worth mentioning is this.

I was a smoker...gave up when pregnant...but 8 years ago, after I had DD2 I went through a very stressful time at work and started again.

I finally gave up 2 months ago. It could have affected my fertility couldn't it? And now...bang.

I've got too many symptoms to ignore. I can't remember the sex...DH and I have quite regular sex so I can't even pinpoint the time after Valentines day when we did it. Am I being silly? Panicking over nothing? Help me with the dates because I'm bad at maths and it's night here and I can't get a test.

[Jw35]

You can have symptoms before your period is due, I did. You can take a test anytime now, a sensitive one will show by now.

[DarrenHardysDrongo]

Pigeon...is frequent urination a sign of menopause?

I'm not pigeon but from experience, yes it can be one of the signs of peri menopause. I had symptoms just like you describe when I was in my early 40s. A decade later, no baby has appeared.

[Xmasbaby11]

43 and no proper contraception! Sorry ... that's an accident waiting to happen.

[saraah2354]

I ha pregnancy symptoms 2 days after DTD, every forum going told me it wasn't related to pregnancy. I now have a 2 year old

[MatildaTheCat]

If you have a fairly regular 28day cycle and your LMP was around 10th Feb then in all likelihood conception wouldn't have been until around 24th Feb I've about 14 days ago. It would be very early indeed to have many symptoms at this stage. Breast tenderness?

You have more signs of a urine infection right now. You also sound ambivalent ly pleased about the prospect of a pregnancy so maybe now is a good time to discuss seriously whether you want to actively try to conceive.

Good luck either way. I hope you get some sleep.

[bornwithaplasticspoon]

Not strange to be pregnant at 43. My friend had a 'surprise' baby at 43 - she already had a 5 year old grandson.

Good luck and I hope whatever happens you will be OK and happy.

[Flossiesmummy]

I know plenty of people around your age who've been less than careful and then conceived. Time will tell!

[ridemesideways]

Perimenopause can change your symptoms experienced during the post-ovulatory / pre-menstrual phase. Don't panic.

[TheJunctionBaby]

my withdrawal baby is 8 months old ;-) It worked for us too for 4 years.....until it just didn't. So baby number 4 came and I wouldn't change a thing, we all adore her

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Hope you can get hold of a test or two and get your answer either way.

43 is definitely not too old to have a baby, if you are pregnant and that is what you want to do.

[Hygge]

Does it matter if it's night?

I know they tell you to do the first morning wee, but I did my first positive test at 9pm very early in the pregnancy.

I had early symptoms though. I knew it would be positive.

A normal test gave us a tiny, barely there dot where the pink line ought to be, so we went out and got a digital test and it said positive 1-2 weeks on it.

My early symptoms included tender breasts and sensitive nipples, sore skin, going to the toilet a lot, and an aversion to bacon and things with raisons in them. I was feeling sick at the mention of bacon sandwiches for days before that test showed positive.

A digital test should show you by now, even if it is very early days.

I hope you get the result you want, I think you should test asap to try to set your mind at rest. Worrying is worse than knowing in the end.

[OhShutUpThomas]

Hope you get the result you want OP

[FlyingRussianUnicorn]

Hand holding OP. Hope you get the result that you want.

Remember- everything happens for a reason

[AmIbeingTreasonable]

I felt sick the day after I conceived my third child, no word of a lie. I would never believe this possible if I hadn't experienced it for myself.

[donajimena]

I had the frequent urination and nausea and it did cross my mind.. eek..what if?
But I wasn't. This was only last month and I am also 43.

[MattDillonsPants]

Well I didn't need to get a test today...period arrived this morning! :D I have to say my overwhelming feeling was one of relief. Of course a baby wouldn't be a BAD thing but it would have screwed our plans for the coming few years!

I'm planning on talking to DH about vasectomy. It's time to sort this out. Too much worry! Thanks all for being so kind. x

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Glad things turned out as you wanted.

[CountessOfStrathearn]

"Withdrawal method notoriously unreliable. If correctly used failure rate is quoted as 4% a year."

"you cannot be careful, withdrawal isn't contraception for simple biological reasons. Unless your husband is from krypton, that is..."

The withdrawal method is actually a pretty reliable form of contraception and is only slightly worse than condoms, although I certainly couldn't recommend it to anyone who really didn't want to be pregnant!

Withdrawal perfect use: 4% failure rate
Condom perfect use: 2%

Withdrawal typical use: 18%
Condom typical use: 17%

www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/reprints/Contraception79-407-410.pdf

[Mango5000]

I must have some luck then Countess as both my dc were conceived when all we were using was the withdrawal method

[MattDillonsPants]

Mangoo but how good at control is your DH? Many men let a bit out before they "exit" ....mine's very scared controlled

I'm so relieved. I have so much I want to do this year and I honestly knew that had I been pregnant I couldn't have managed a termination.

Not that I'd judge anyone who made that choice...at all! But personally at this stage of life I couldn;t do it...so I'd have had to have a baby...and whilst I do love babies and all that, God! I'm far too tired!

[novemberchild]

I got pregnant from withdrawal, and on only one occasion, so I know it was that! Beware... :)

[BastardGoDarkly]

Ah, I'm glad for you op. :)

[bornwithaplasticspoon]

Op you sound happy so that's good. Get that vasectomy booked asap!