to find this mentality annoying?

[MrsDeathOfRats]

My dh never finishes anything.

Orange juice - half a mouthful left in the bottle

Cheese - like Brie he will leave a tiny bit, like the top piece with the skin on.

Fresh bread (like baguette) he will leave 1 inch or so wrapped in the paper.

Cake - a sliver will be left on the plate.

Packet of biscuits - one left in the packet. Sometimes it's just ^half!
^
He has always done this. I never really questioned it too much. It was clearly a habit so just left it.
But recently he has started telling Dd that it is rude to finish things.
Ie - don't finish the juice, what if someone else wants some?
Don't finish the cheese -
That it is rude and selfish to finish something.
But this drives me mad.
Also, when I questioned this he basically had to say that he thinks I am rude when I finish something.
So my only understanding is that we have to throw away the last piece of everything just so no one is rude by consuming it....

Wtf. That is nuts isn't it???

I do this. As does dd.

At something like a dinner party it's about not taking it all so there is none for someone else. But we both eat loads so generally will finish stuff off when entirely sure everyone else has finished, dependent on company.

Most of the time though it's because we just eat to appetite, not portion size. Quite often eat 'seconds' of dinner after clearing the first lot, but leave a few mouthfuls once full. And we both do leaving half a biscuit, cake etc for the same reason. Fancying something sweet and stopping when satisfied.

I don't however understand the idea of putting away something nobody else can eat, unless you're putting it away for yourself.

In some countries it's considered rude to finish everything on your plate

I do this, too...but I encourage other people to finish stuff off.

Sometimes the last tiny bit of something is just ....too much!

I do this.

I didn't realise it was annoying. People have commented but I was always taught that it was good manners to leave a little on your plate or not finish a packet of biscuits/sweets.

I do think he's being unreasonable to leave useless slivers of whatever or half a broken biscuit though. Who wants that?

Its just a cultural difference, a bit like belching at the dinner table I assume.

I've heard that in some cultures if you finish your food its a signal that you are asking for more.

I've also heard that women should always leave a little food on their plates to signify that they weren't that hungry to begin with & not to look greedy (yes grandma thank you)

I also had an ex who did this purely so he didn't have to wash up the plate or throw away the bag, he could just leave it on the side for someone else to deal with. Used to drive me round the fucking bend, a tiny bit of squash left in the bottle on the side, the rind of the cheese, just bits that weren't any good to anyone

My DH did this for years!

I do this. It's a survival throwback - save some for later in case no food food later.
Something happens , I cannot force that last mouthful down.
Unless it's a hungry day where I eat everything in sight all day long.

There are some people who do the "who finished X?" viewing the finishing as rude, so the person taking the last biscuit is the one who's been greedy by finishing it, not the person who had the other 14 biscuits - does that make sense? If you were brought up to be told the person who finished something was the one who'd get told off, not the one who ate the most of it, it'd train you into leaving the bare minimum you could, even if it's not enough for someone else.

I do it but it's because I have this idea that the last bit is "dirty" somehow. I know it isn't but there you have it.

I got told this a few times as a child by my European dad - my mum put a stop to it though in my fuzzy memory the reasoning was 'leave a bit on your plate to show that it was so delicious you couldn't finish it/you weren't worthy of it'

But when it's things like the last chocolate or something I thought everyone knew you shouldn't take it for yourself? And even asking is a bit off, because then you indicate that you want it & pressure people into letting you have it! Stupid but I'm so used to it.

When I was little we were allowed to help ourselves if hungry to a slice of cake/biscuit etc. However if it was the last one we were meant to ask if anyone else wanted it.
So what tended to happed to circumspect this was that we wouldn't take the last slice/biscuit etc. We'd take a small slice, leaving a slither, or half the biscuit. Dm used to get very frustrated finding 6 boxes each with a piece slightly bigger than crumbs left.

Wasn't helped that db tended to always say he wanted it, so you ended up at best sharing it, or sometimes he'd produce a not good reason that it was all his. So not asking meant you at least got half without feeling you'd had to push that you deserved half.

We always finish everything if we want to. All my friends/family are not shy of asking "does anyone want that last bit"? I see both sides but to be honest these days I think 1) food waste, and 2) and who do you think is going to keep track of all the leftover bits in little containers all over the place? It stresses me out ...

It has the added benefit of not being the one who has to go to the trouble of putting the empty packet in the bin!

My husband leaves tiny scraps of things on his plate. It irritates the hell out of me, and I always wonder why he couldn't just eat it and save me having to put it in the bin. He says that when he has had enough to eat, he stops eating. I have to admit that there is sense in this, and that I might have a few inches fewer on the waistline if I could do the same, but at the same time I feel guilty wasting food, and also slightly affronted if I have made an effort and he apparently doesn't like the meal enough to finish it.

Maybe he was taught to leave a bit for 'Mr Manners' It is very hard to unlearn a childhood conditioned behaviour. But I agree OP is it annoying - it is actually better manners to finish it and dispose of the packet.

I don't think it's to do with war time or want, I simply think it's part of good manners and thinking of others before yourself, similar to not eating until everyone is sitting at the table and offering food around before taking some yourself; filling the glasses of others before filling your own etc.

If people are referring to the Chinese etiquette of not clearing your plate, this doesn't extend to food in packets, only food served to you- the implication being that if you clear your plate, your host didn't provide enough food. Your host loses face because he/she appears ungenerous.

From the OP I understood that the tiny amounts left are in packets, and yes, this drives me nuts too, so YANBU. It's just because the lazy fuckers can't be bothered to throw the packaging away.

Have you tried giving the remains of one meal for the next meal to be eaten before a fresh one. Tends to focus the mind.

Another idea is to say that the people who do not clear their plate make the next meal and mean it. M I've had experience of this and I'd usually from having no rules when a child.

Whoever leaves scraps on plates is responsible for scraping them into the foodwaste bin. That's my rules for the kids. You don't have to finish everything but you don't expect someone else to deal with it.

Is it a Chinese etiquette!? Never heard of it.

Leaving something in your plate is one thing and very different than not finishing when you aren't hungry anymore.
Leaving something on your plate or to taking the last bit of whatever when it's on the table is different again than NEVER finishing any packet (biscuits, cheese etc...)

Because you are talking about cultural difference, you need to talk with him and arrive to a a consensus as what you are going to tell your dd.
I our house, it's OK to finish the cheese or the packet of biscuits but It's not OK to do when we are all around the table and wo asking everyone else if they want some.
It also wouldn't be OK to do so if you knew that someone else would want some in t5 mins (eg finishing the biscuits knowing your db is going to come down and will want some).
And yy to ask how he is dealing with all the little left overs. Is he expecting a new packet of biscuits to be started wo finishing the first for example?

But but but, wise, if you never finish a packet of biscuits because it's rude, who does eat the last one? Are they being rude? Do you just throw the packet+one biscuit away? It seems bonkers!
what you need is a constantly refilled biscuit tin!

In many cultures it is considered rude to clean your plate - just Google it - as it implies you have not been provided with sufficient food. This is a long-established etiquette rule in many societies.

If you are going to scoff at your partner's social customs, or resent if he shares them with your offspring, maybe he isn't the person you want to be having more children with? I should think his policies and mores should have equal standing with your own?

DH always leaves a little something on his plate and has mentioned in the past that it is polite to do so.

Your DH is taking it a step further though with the half biscuits.

YANBU.

I think you need to have a chat about manners vs wasteful habits. Agree it is polite to allow others the opportunity to have something, maybe as the cake is ending asking if others want any. But it is not ok to throw it away for manners sake only.