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Original poster

To think Dh is responsible for buying this?

58 replies

Cloudybutwarm · 07/03/2016 20:59

Ok it's slightly irrelevant as I'm a sahm so all our money comes from one source, it's more about the principal of the matter!

Dh snores. I mean snores like a train. Most nights. He is also a very heavy sleeper. I've survived it over the years but it has meant a lot of restless nights for me, which was manageable until we had children, and as the lucky person who deals with all the night wakings I really resent any further disturbance to my sleep!

A few months ago i heard about a mouldable mouth guard thing that had good reviews for helping stop snoring. I sent the info to Dh, he ordered one, and IT WORKED! Not 100% but the improvement was massive.

Now, the thing is they cost about £60 and over time they stretch and stop working and you need to get a new one... As is happening with dhs now - he's started snoring again even with it in. I said to him he needed to order a new one, and he said he thought I should pay for it! This is on the basis that his snoring is a problem for me and not a problem for him Hmm I feel that he's the one who does it, therefore it's down to him.

What do you think?!

OP posts:
Maryz · 07/03/2016 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveBoursin · 07/03/2016 21:29

I would say it's his problem and more importantly is responsibility to sort out.

The issue there is that he is doing something that is creating problems for you, something he can do something about.
But because it's not an issue for him, he is selfishly saying it's not his problem and doesn't want to hear about it.

My issue with the not taking responsibility for his snoring is the fact he is ignoring how much effect it has on you. It's the fact that his outlook is very selfish rather than caring towards you.

Wagglebees · 07/03/2016 21:30

What is it he's expecting you to pay for it with? If you're a sahm and it's a joint account? So it makes no difference who buys it, it's coming from the same place.

fieldfare · 07/03/2016 21:30

He needs to pay for it, regardless that it's a joint pot. It's more the principle that it's him causing the issue!
My Dh snores like a freaking monster, it's horrific and I frequently get violent urges in the middle of the night. He moves into the spare room to give me some peace if I nudge him awake.

Can I have the link to the mouthgard though please?

bungmean · 07/03/2016 21:31

ToadsforJustice

Really??? Hmm

LoveBoursin · 07/03/2016 21:31

And YY about the fact it's affecting his health too but I suspect that he won't be accepting that.

BoomBoomsCousin · 07/03/2016 21:33

Tell him from a neoclassical economics perspective, your lack of sleep is an externalised cost of his sleep. Enforcing him paying for the guard is just one step towards ensuring a free market for sleep in your household. From a behavioural economics perspective his paying for the guard is a sound investment because otherwise you might kill him.

BikeRunSki · 07/03/2016 21:34

I second getting him investigated for sleep apnoea

Inertia · 07/03/2016 21:35

Make it his problem by waking him up every time your snoring wakes you.

gamerchick · 07/03/2016 21:35

Just order one, pick your battles man!

Also I would like a link to one of those Grin

elfycat · 07/03/2016 21:38

I have a decibel app on my phone. I got it at about 3am one night when I idly wondered just how loud DH is...

(quite loud)

I agree with the poster who pointed out that if the mouth guard is lessening the snoring then you'll be doing his health a world of good. Does he do any of that breath holding/snorting thing? That's really not good for him, if so.

But it's his problem. And he's being a bit of a shit really.

BlackeyedSusan · 07/03/2016 21:53

make it his problem. too tired to do stuff that benefits him because he was snoring? waking him up everytime...

VimFuego101 · 07/03/2016 21:57

Make it his problem by waking him up every time your snoring wakes you.

This.

fuzzpig · 07/03/2016 21:58

Sleep apnoea can be dangerous, definitely needs it checking out in case he has it. Before buying an expensive widget that may not even work for very long.

Snoring is often made light of, and it shouldn't be, because it can be the symptom of this. I admit it's a sore point for me as my dad has SA. He has to have a machine to keep his airways open at night. Without it he can stop breathing while he sleeps.

YANBU about his attitude BTW

EveOnline2016 · 07/03/2016 22:02

I would be waking him up.

Namechangenell · 07/03/2016 22:02

I wake my husband every time he wakes me with his snoring. Three years of night wakings with babies mean I now deserve my sleep. It's the snorer's problem to sort!

sykadelic · 07/03/2016 22:09

Snoring typically happens because the airway is collapsing, so it's for his own health that he gets the guard.

As for the sound itself, he is correct that you're the one bothered by it.

As you're so tired however, due to lack of sleep, it would be best if he do all the chores, including laundry, cleaning etc because you're so exhausted you can't do anything correctly.

OR... simply because:

  • his erection is his problem
  • his hunger is his problem
  • his dirty clothes are his problem..

Is this really a path he wants to go down? More power to him if so!

Wagglebees · 07/03/2016 22:18

So it's who physically types the card number into Amazon that's the issue?

I agree with a pp, pick your battles.

Wagglebees · 07/03/2016 22:18

And he can sleep in the spare room/on the sofa.

RitaVinTease · 07/03/2016 22:19

Try wax ear plugs if he wont replace his gadget.

Original poster
Cloudybutwarm · 07/03/2016 22:20

I can't wear ear plugs unfortunately. I have really small ears, am slightly deaf and very prone to ear infections so they are just not something that works for me. I have tried before.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 07/03/2016 22:23

I don't really understand the question. Buy the mouth guard and make sure he uses it. If he snores, wake him up, immediately. Every time. DH sometimes snores and I always wake him. He expects this. It is his problem because it's his body, and you need his consent to do anything about it.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 07/03/2016 22:24

My ears start bleeding after using ear plugs it's bit nice.

Long term it may be cheaper for him to have the snoring op. But either way it's up to him to be responsible for and manage his own health because he is a grown up.

If something he does has a significant impact on the people who share a room with him then it is down to him to minimise the risk again because he is a grown up.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 07/03/2016 22:26

Just buy the thing.

Or LTB.

ScarletForYa · 07/03/2016 22:34

I sore abs am very interested in this mouth guard thingy, can you tell us what it is OP?

And he definitely should pay for it btw.

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