to let 12 year old dd walk home?

[Jw35]

My 12 year old wants to walk 2.5 miles home from her secondary school. She usually uses the public bus as I don't drive but she has to wait 25 minutes for it and it's often late.

She's a little overweight (not massively but could do with exercise). At the moment she currently does no regular exercise and I can't afford dance lessons and other things (which she would do). She refuses to cycle, her bike has hardly been used and she's outgrown it now. I'd buy her a new one but only if she would use it!

She's absolutely fine crossing roads etc. My fear is that she walks along a stretch of main road where there are no houses for some of the journey. I'm probably a bit paranoid but I worry about someone stopping and forcing her into a car!

Is that a realistic fear? Or should I give her this independence? She's happy to walk, wants to do it. She doesn't have a friend who walks home or lives in our village (unfortunately).

She's walked home once and will do so again today. I just need a bit of reassurance I'm not irresponsible? She will be 13 in September, she's year 7. Thanks

I would suggest riding her bicycle, but you say she refuses.
It's much quicker.

If safety is your concern she's probably much safer on foot than on her bike.

Thank you so much for the reassurance! I'd rather feel daft on here than worried I'm doing something wrong!

I used to walk home at her age too, I feel the same as all of you but sometimes I doubt myself just because I worry! I'm pregnant so I'll blame the hormones

There is pavement all the way. Only small roads to cross, nothing difficult. There are a couple of boys around the same age who walk the same way, one also in year 7. None of her actual friends do. We live in Berkshire, a nice village and she goes to the school in the next village, no reports of child snatching! Just my paranoia then!

'There are a couple of boys around the same age who walk the same way, one also in year 7.'

There's the reason for her new interest in walking!

At twelve it's

I agree with previous poster, it will do her the world of good, I do lots of walking and it keeps my weight down. I do get buses too but if it's a case of wait or walk, I usually walk. She's plenty old enough, they'll be loads of people milling about that time of day anyway.

Ah boys you say

Xpost squoosh

I would love my dd to be able to walk home. There is no bus and half the 2.5 mile walk has no foot path. People get run over walking on it all the time. Very enclosed, lots of sharp turns.

In the ops case, I would let her walk home.

Of course YANBU.
If she wants to, when why on earth not, especially now it's getting lighter.
It's quite a long walk after school on her own if she didn't want to, but as it's her choice, encourage away.
As other's have said, I'd let her have bus fair for the odd day when she prefers to.

I walked home at 10

She has bus fare and money on her at all times.

at the boys comment! She says boys are horrible..!

At 12, of course! It's what 40-45 minute walk? Nothing wrong with that at all. A daily brisk walk will have her fit on no time.

She says boys are horrible..!

That's what she's told you!

If she does walk with boys it'll be a good opportunity for her to find out that boys are normal, human, decent and good company.

My mother was quite overprotective and even I walked home from school on my own from what is now year 7. It will be fine.

I used to walk that far to and from school most days from when I started secondary school. There was a bus, but we often used to spend our bus money in the shop :-) It was just what the kids in my village did. We didn't have phones. We all survived. But that was a while ago.....

As long as there's no dodgy areas to walk through. You make sure she's away of be sensible. Has a phone - perhaps ask her to text to say leaving, another text when she gets there type thing. Maybe even have a personal alarm to make you feel easier?

Presumably if she feels it's too far, or it's chucking down with rain then she could just go back to getting the bus!

My child is a similar age and needs to walk 2 miles distance. My child phones me at a certain point just before the bit with no houses and we chat for5 mins. There are strict instructions not to talk to strangers, even those that ask directions.

My walk to and from school at the same age was very similar, including the stretch with no houses (in my case it was the edge of a golf course - my mum used to nag us about looking out for flying golf balls!)

I honestly don't think there would be any harm in letting her walk. "Being forced into a car" is vanishingly rare and there are strategies you cold teach her to make it less likely - make a lot of noise, kick them in the shins/poke in the eye etc, or even give her a noisy alarm to use in real emergencies. However, I wouldn't personally make too big a deal of the remote possibility in case she gets scared to walk at all. Could she walk further away from the edge of the road? I don't know whether she's walking along pavements, a grass verge or what but if it's possible, that would be a very easy precaution to take.

Personally I wouldn't say she had to get the bus if it rained either. At 12 she's old enough to take responsibility for her own comfort, and if she doesn't mind getting wet there's no reason why you should.

I would walk to meet her if you are that concerned. I love doing this with mine (while she still lets me ) as I get to know all about her school day and we have a lovely chat.

You could meet her halfway then!

I would definitely go and meet her if I wasn't nearly 20 weeks pregnant with a 14 month old! The little one goes out every morning (often when I'm walking a mile or so) then sleeps in the afternoon. To meet her I'd have to get toddler up from her nap early, it's not practical unfortunately.

She does text me a few times on the way home which is reassuring! She has the option of bus or walk so of its raining it's really up to her. Like I say, it's not my idea!

Thanks for all this input, you've made me see I'm just being a bit protective. I think as a parent the 'what ifs' can really cloud your judgement. I want her to be independent. She understands about safety and strangers etc.

Being protective is fine and natural, we love our children. We also have a duty to teach them to become independent, confident in their own abilities and to be able to risk assess for themselves.
You have done a good job keeping her safe and now she just wants to stretch her wings, pretty much as it should be

Not a chance where I live, I've got to be one of those daft parents too. To get home from school my dd has to walk 2 miles, down a long road with no houses, across a wooded valley and then on another road with no path, the wooded valley has had recent incidence of drug taking and men flashing at joggers, it's quite a remote place. She does however walk from town to her dad's which is about 1.5 miles but it's in a heavily built up area.

Unfortunately my area is not that nice

It'll be very good for her, especially as she's a bit overweight. And she might decide that cycling is a better idea once she realises how much quicker it'll be.