To feel very old-fashioned or just out of step?

[Prole]

I'm not vain and don't see it as a virtuous trait. I'm not narcissistic enough to think my life is interesting enough to broadcast on the internet - even my dinners. I think conspicuous consumption and branding is just hideous. (To me a designer whatsit covered in branding just screams "look at me; I'm a consumer too". And 'Haul videos' WTAF?

All the above weren't seen as desirable traits when growing up (born late sixties into a piss poor family) but now seem to be acceptable if not positively encouraged.

What's it all about? It seems so prevalent I almost daren't call it 'wrong' but just 'beyond my ken'.

Am I just a scruffy, boring slob with rubbish clothes who's out of step with the Twenty-first century? Do I need to get with the program and stop shopping at the army surplus?

Thats the power of marketing.

They employ really good psychologists to place products in stores in the right places. Brands will pay over the odds to have their baked beans at eye level on a shelf. There's a reason all the good deals are at the end of the shelves and why the fruit and veg is always at the entrance. Everyone loads up with their healthy stuff then 'treat themselves' with the offers.

Its the same with advertisements. The words, the colours, images, all get people to buy things they don't need.

I have never understood the need for scented bog roll. Its not as though my backside takes a sniff and it doesn't do anything to mask any potential smells so whats the point? people buy it and that's down to those clever advertisers and their use of psychology that make us want to buy it.

Advertising is all about the 'self' these days and people do loathe it but it still works but now it has taken a new form online. Quite a lot of those celebs get give stuff to promote and of course, social media is another fabulous social leveller, their fans will emulate them by doing the same and often tag the celeb in the celeb endorsed product they've just purchased for example.

as for yourself, perhaps because you mingle at the top you've never felt it because it'd be like copying your mum or dad. OK at five. a bit weird at 35?

It's not an age thing, it's a personality thing. As some pp said, it's a fair bit of keeping up with the Joneses too. I'm embarrassed to wear obvious brands, others luuurve it. Regrading 21st century matters, I don't do selfies as I feel like a twat, others have no problems with it. It's nice that people will have so many photos of them looking young and gorgeous but I respect my privacy.

Lorelei - thanks for that. I shall keep an eye out for the next start dates.

Ohdearme - the thread has shown there's all kinds of stuff about social media that I'd never thought of. The whole notion of a fake life complete with photos, I'm still stunned by. I'm sure most of the pics are genuine but even then some are probably contrived to present a certain image. I've never considered my 'image'. I'm just me and will always be - I could change my name or entire wardrobe but I'd still be the same person. I actually have no idea how I could project something else.

Dowager - I still dispute my sneering. The couple are probably the closest of my work colleagues. I like 'em despite being the polar opposite to me. They're very much Soho Scene men so are fairly vain with heavy regimes of gym, sunbeds and waxing. Their photos are perhaps unsurprising in context. They bemoan my scruffy "You'd look so much better if you tried..." and I rib them about their distinct shininess... and we get along fine.

Erp, you posted the eg of your colleagues showing you holiday pics of themselves at your behest in a thread about vanity and narcissism. It's a pretty clear inference that you consider this to be an example of the lifestyle you disdain.

as bettyberry points out, brands have very clever people behind them, helping them target people's needs. The best branding works by tapping into psychological needs not fulfilled by the modern world.

But the thing to remember OP is that the vast, vast majority of people have a connection with some kind of brand. You will too. It may be fulfilling a very different psychological need for you to what superdry's fulfilling for someone else, but essentially a similar thing is going on.

Always nice to wheel this out.

Laurie Marlow - fair question. Right now I'm wearing Army Surplus trousers, some holey plimsolls (that are my slippers) from ebay, a jumper from a cheap mail order jumper place. My pants and vest are from New York - went on holiday; saw packs of nice cotton undies at a bargain price so had to get them. I hate polyester even more than branding (eczema related if you must know). Socks are from a hiking shop again mail order. Actual browsing round shops Clothes shopping is my idea of a shit day.

theycallmemello The holiday pics - I asked because I wanted to see actual pics of Macchu Pichu but instead politely sat through a load of selfies. Ah well.

Yes - I understand this. Of course it's not wrong to not want to look at someone's pictures of themselves, I wouldn't either. It is a bit mean to imply that the fact that they took pictures of themselves on holiday (and showed you only bc you asked) means they're vain and narcissistic.

bettybetty - I'd always assumed the scented bog roll thing was marketeers tactic of offering a product to tackle a shortcoming you didn't previously know existed (because it doesn't - they made it up). There's ongoing research about the human requirements and logistics of long term space travel to Mars. Water being at a premium in space - necessary hygiene has been looked at in detail. They found levels of first world cleaning unnecessary and actually defined it as a "cultural fetish".

Psychology in marketing - makes me actually quite angry to see all that human effort and resource put into making people feel inadequate without brand X. Makes me want to watch 'Century of the Self' again. All about Freud's relations (Anna Freud and Edward Bernays) using Sigmund ideas around primeval subconscious fears in marketing and PR. Bernays invented the phrase 'Public relations' as the word 'propaganda' had negative connotations as he freely admitted.

they call me mello - they ONLY took photos of themselves. I'm talking close ups too. CAmera at arm's length at a guess with only odd bits of wall in the extreme background. There was nothing that really indicated where they'd been. I understand it's quite an uphill slog to get there - if I go up a big hill with a camera I'd almost feel obliged to take at least one pic of the view.

But fine - they're not vain just awful photographers.

OK, fine, you'd feel obliged to take a picture of the view. No one is suggesting there's anything wrong with that. But I'm confused about it being vain not to take a picture of the view. And I'm confused about it being vain to take pictures of yourself with your partner on holiday. I don't see that this makes them bad photographers either. They just want different photos to the ones you want.

theycallmemello - yes I get your point now I think... their pics were simply for themselves so they can capture themselves of anything they like? Am I getting you?

If all of their selfies went on FB (and I've no idea if they did or didn't) with the intention of showing them to much wider audience; how would you construe that?

Now I discovered that some people lead fake online lives, I'm tempted to go to Derbyshire where I'm pretty sure I can take photos with sufficiently little visual context to pretend I'm in Macchu Pichu.

I feel old and I'm only 25 this year! I really dislike the FB stuff and shopping haul videos. Why would you take a picture of your food before you eat it? Why would you make a video of all the stuff you have just purchased from lush? Why would you wish your 4 year old child a happy birthday on social media when they can barely read a book? It's the constant sharing that irritates me. "Just gone to asda and cooked the tea" - what do you want a medal?

And why is everyone constantly attached to their phones? I want a converstation with another human being without them checking their texts or fb. Arrrrgggghhhhhhhh!

And breathe.
Sorry for the rant.

It is the reason I ditched advertising and focus on company branding and smaller private projects. I know I'm still in it and I'm affecting subconscious choices through making one company look better over another. It still doesn't sit perfectly within my eco/zerowaste mindset and lifestyle but no one is ever perfect and I have bills to pay.

Most of the products we see today do fill some useless need that inevitably makes life easier and harder at the same time. The scented bog roll is exactly that. Its classed as a luxury and a waste of space and it makes your fanny itch

Inadequacy sells though. The capitalist model is based on it. You just have to look at the studies into income and happiness to see that the amount of cash you earn means very little in terms of happiness yet the ads we see daily - around 2000 perhaps even more - all sell the exact same idea 'buy me to be happy' it doesn't matter what it is though.

Branding fits into this because again it is selling a dream. Perfume ads are classic ads to study for this. The dream sold within them and the person you can be if you just douse yourself with this potion.

They can be incredibly sexist too - cleaning ads aimed at women, sports cars aimed at men and the effect these have on the subconscious. If they can make us buy shit we don't need then they can make us cling onto outdated gender and racial stereotypes too.

In short though, we are all affected by ads and branding and have a need to be wanted, appreciated and to feel a part of something. Some of more so than others. We all just go about it in very different and perplexing ways.

I have no problem with people posting pictures of themselves online. It's not hurting anyone, it's not putting anyone down. Insulting others for posting pics of themselves on the internet or in their private photo collections, I do find a bit depressing. It's just hostile and meanspirited. Why not just be happy in how you live your life without putting others down?

I picture OP as an old gimmer pulling on her faaaaag and pointing a yellow nicotiney finger to croak 'it was all better in my day'.

OP, life moves on, things change and you can choose to enjoy life's rich tapestry or shrink back to purse lipped disapproval of how other people live their lives. It is up to you, innit?

But you are sounding a bit Uriah Heap with your references to your old fashioned humbleness - and really, that is not a literary character to aspire to.

OP I'm the same age as you, I also live in London and I don't really know what you're on about!

Yes people take selfies as technology and trends change. It's hardly the devil's work. Haul videos - never watched one, don't know anyone who has.

I actually see less branded designer wear and accessories than there was 15-20 years ago.

I can't bear Facebook so I'm not on it.

Just like every era and generation there is good and bad.

People and life hasn't really changed that much in my opinion.

I disagree this is a new thing.

My auntie used to spend a fortune decorating her house, every time someone else on the street decorated their. Take photos and show them to everyone. I was sick of sitting and looking at photos of her wall paper, fireplace, bed etc. She is now doing the same all over fb.

My nana walked off when she saw her showing photos to people in their local shop.

Brands were huge when I was at school. If you didn't have kickers, you were shit. If your don't have Levi jeans or a Levi jacket. You were shit. We all had long hair. Friends were mortified when I cut mine off and had a bob at 15.

Dd has a few branded things but when we go shopping she just buys what she likes. The brand doesn't bother her. Branded coats aren't a thing at school. All her friends have different hair. None of them get up at 6 to make their hair perfect, like we did.

They are all on some form of social media and not obsessed by consumption. They all live a bargain and more likely to brag about how cheap they got something than how expensive it was.

My point is that brands were a big thing 20-25 years. Some people like showing off about what they have, just now more of us see it. But many aren't like that too.

Which is the same as it was years ago. The only difference is, is that it's shared with more people now.

And no one has ever taken their phone out to show me their FB page. That's weird.

Prole
I'm with you.
I don't do Facebook. Have only recently discovered Mumsnet and I am two other forums about things I am interested in.
I didn't even know about the Haul videos that is just weird!
I'm too busy for most of it.
I work almost full time, I garden, I have hobbies so I doubt if I would have time even if I wanted to. I never felt the need ( even as a teenager) to hauve labels, shop in certain shops or change my whole wardrobe every season. Most of my friends are the same. As long as no one is being hurtful and I see on here people often are on Facebook then I don't have a problem with it although i don't understand why people photograph their dinner! Putting photos of Christmas or a birthday cake fine but every meal...weird...who is interested anyway.
Some of my kids have Facebook I think. One to keep up with people he has met around the world and football and the other lives away so to keep up with friends here and for work related pages. I don't think the other two bother. One of my sisters has stopped communicating with two of us ...oh you don't do Facebook do you...when I asked how my new niece was getting on. Premmie baby had gone home and she couldn't even be bothered to tell me!
Agree with MrsWigster too. And the phone thing. If you come to visit me and we are having a conversation must you look a t your phone every 3-5 minutes. I have one friend that does that. I think it is so rude. I would understand if you have an ill relative or waiting for baby news but constant texts to daughter about what she should wear or purchases from shops aaarrrrrgghhh.
Still each to there own.

I don't get what's branded and what's not. Unless something is handmade and given to you, surely it's from a 'brand'. Or does it have to have the brand name visibly on display?

I'm with the OP, and people often get quite wound up when they realise I'm not on Facebook- although I don't criticise it, it is seen as implicit that I 'don't approve' of it because I don't do it. I'm not being judgmental, but it sounds judgmental if you say you have no interest in it. It's like saying you're not interested in people and there lives. Nothing is further from the truth.

To me it's no more of a moral stance than not liking, say, cricket. It's a bit like being seen as odd for not having a tv in the 70s-you can be excluded from conversations because you're the only one whose not seen the holiday pics/new decor/night.

Their lives...sigh

Birdsgotta You're quite right, consumerism is important for capitalism to function as the only real driver that will create mass wealth. I totally agree with you, and we need it.

going slightly off topic -

My youngest DD has started playing football and is being told to watch football matches, yet there's no way you can do that without handing over a considerable amount of money to R Murdoch every month for the privilege.

When I mentioned that to the other parents at the football club, that it's a bloody liberty, they all looked at me like I'm a total hippy / skinflint. Football on TV is exclusive to those with more disposable income. So greedy players can command £100,000 a week wages.

No one seems to bat an eyelid about it.