To feel very old-fashioned or just out of step?

[Prole]

I'm not vain and don't see it as a virtuous trait. I'm not narcissistic enough to think my life is interesting enough to broadcast on the internet - even my dinners. I think conspicuous consumption and branding is just hideous. (To me a designer whatsit covered in branding just screams "look at me; I'm a consumer too". And 'Haul videos' WTAF?

All the above weren't seen as desirable traits when growing up (born late sixties into a piss poor family) but now seem to be acceptable if not positively encouraged.

What's it all about? It seems so prevalent I almost daren't call it 'wrong' but just 'beyond my ken'.

Am I just a scruffy, boring slob with rubbish clothes who's out of step with the Twenty-first century? Do I need to get with the program and stop shopping at the army surplus?

Jassy I'm NOT on any social media..

...and its apparent acceptance...

Middle aged and older people have always looked at youngsters and judged them and their pastimes. Just as your parents and their friends would've done the same as you.

We're not suddenly going to hell in a handcart. T'was ever thus.

Agree, keeping with up with the Joneses has been a thing, probably on and off, for ages. Two world wars maybe interrupted it, I bet the Victorian middle class did it.

Then such people look at me askance because I save that money so I can retire early. They think it's weird, whereas I don't think they're weird for wanting lots of stuff, it's just not what I want for myself.

I'm with you OP! I don't do FB, only do Twitter for work and all the self-exposure and showing off makes me really uncomfortable. To me boasting and showing off are undesirable traits.... I'm still getting my head around it all!

I remember when Sainsbury's TU range started and the slogan "It's all about you..." - I was flabbergasted that they thought that sounded good! To me that sounds almost like they are being sarcastic about what a vain twat you are :o It was me that was odd. No one else thinks there's anything amiss with it.

I don't even get selfies. I couldn't just take pics of myself and put them online all the time - in what feels like a very old-fashioned way, I think it's just vain and excruciating. It's almost like these days it's normal to behave in a way I kind of associate with a stage you go through when you're 5 or 6. Showing off and being a bit me me me.

It's not about being scruffy or boring, I don't think I am anyway. I have a job people are interested in, I like clothes and design and make-up (though I'm not bothered about expensive brands for the sake of it), I like nice food. I just hate the thought of boasting about it and showing off.

Agree with the PP who said there will probably be a backlash.

OP as far as I am concerned, you are DefNBU!
The trend for conspicuous consumption just pisses me off.
Every time I see a label, I think of the people somewhere like Bangladesh, working for a pittance, in horrible conditions, just to make expensive labelled clothes for people who couldn't give a shit about their welfare, just want the "right" clothes.
Not only is it a human rights issue, it's an environmental issue too, disposable/changeable fashion encourages people to buy more and more clothes to be "in style" without thinking about the waste of material/what happens to perfectly decent clothes thrown in the bin/rights of workers etc etc

I don't buy excuses, I buy from charity shops and second hand ebay type places, because I hate the thought of exploitative companies using my cash.

I'm not sure it's age-related either. I know several people my age (mid 40s) and some older, who are terrible for constant showing off on FB.

Well, 'conspicuous consumption' was published in 1899, before the cheap manufacturing of goods had really taken off and Social Policy was fairly non existent, so I can see why that was discouraged.

It would have been very wrong to flaunt wealth whilst the infant mortality/child death rate was so high because of poverty.

Lorelei - You made a very interesting point about people pretty much my age. My attitudes are clearly a product of my background rather than age.

As a 70s kids I admit I did sometimes wish I had better jeans than Tescos after the other kids said they looked like roadsweeper trousers. As roadsweepers weren't nearly as cool as bin men...well I was mildly miffed. Anyhow the desire for a quarter of sherbet pips trumped any sartorial wishes.

Maugrim- I do have a big mistrust of Facebook but mainly because it seems to be so monopolistic. I wouldn't know about manipulation and all that

Oh and definitely not age related.... I am 31 and hate it, I know people in their 50s/60s who really go mad for labels/boasting etc.

I was amazed you can be so brazen about over-consumption these days

It's more likely that young people living in London are renting tiny rooms in shared flats and have hardly any storage space. I doubt it's brazen over consumption.

Some of social media is actually sharing/making social connections, not 100% to brag. If you get into the mindset of sharing anything that you come across that pleases you, that will sometimes include your dinner or a sunset on holiday as well as the traditional witty things your children said, etc. It is just another way of making small talk - if you imagine a chatty lady in the 1970s on the phone to her friend, she would mention the dinner out that she had, and it would be sharing her life to bond as much as bragging - now people use social media for that.

Because I'm not on any social media, I remain insulated from this self-promotion (although you can't avoid people taking selfies in Zone 1). So I think you're being a bit unreasonable. You needn't join in.

Dowager - I'm definitely not saying the younger generation is wrong or bankrupt just inexplicable. Perhaps thus ever was indeed. Anyway I've already learned it's not based on age anyway.

Love the spread of opinion here - always something to be learned.

Yep you are right. There are just a thing as the ones you are describing.

It starts with clothes with huge logos on (Think SuperDry, Nike etc...) or even the famous 'plastic bags' that have to have the right shop name on it.
Tbf it's not new. It was like this when I was a teenager (I'm nearly 50yo now)

Social media has encouraged the 'Look at me' attitude. People posting all their hols, what they have cooked for dinner, photos of the latest 'succes' of their dcs etc etc. The need to have enough 'Likes' and the constant check (And I'm talking abut 40yo there not an 15yo).

And the overconsumption because we have fed the idea that the more we consumme, the happier we will be. And that it's 'normal' and 'good' to be buying lots of stuff, needing the latest fashion that doesn't last 6 months That's our throw away society.

What I am and :(:( about is the comment 'well things move on, you need to move on too' at the start of this thread.
Yes things change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. What is wrong is to follow the change wo wondering if it is a good idea or not or what it actually means to do xx or yy, in this case what does it tell about me that I have the need to show off all my nice hols photos, perfect family etc... Or to blog about my daily life and how perfect it is etc etc.
I personnally find FB and some other social media really great (eg I love pinterest when I need some ideas to reorganise the house) and I use FB to learn on some subjects (ie the people I follow are the type that will give me something to think about).
However, I'm very careful about the 'oversharing' issue for example

Social media has encouraged the 'Look at me' attitude. People posting all their hols, what they have cooked for dinner, photos of the latest 'succes' of their dcs etc etc. The need to have enough 'Likes' and the constant check (And I'm talking abut 40yo there not an 15yo).

But these people are generally objects of pity, are they not?

Chipped there is another way to look at it. If you look at some of the thread on here such as the Kondo ones, you will see that mnay people discover with great surprise that they actually own 6 white Tshirt and 4 red skirts, all very similar and 15 pairs of shoes when they only use about 4 of them.

That's what overconsumption is. Buying stuff that you don't need. Often out of boredom or to make you feel better.

haul videos and oversharing on social media is just 'keeping up with the Joneses' moved from the garden boundaries to an online forum. Its nothing new really, just 'new' in that's how people choose to do it.

Every social group is different about how they approach social media and the things they share. Its a cultural thing.

You just have to observe the friend groups with in facebook for example (handy now FB lets you know who liked what and who to follow - creepy). I have a sister in her teens and the way she uses facebook, the images/posts she shares are completely different to in 20s sister who is completely different from me but that's in part down to age, interests and the friends/social circles we move in.

But I know just as many 40 something's who post as many risqué selfies as 20s sis and I know teens who brag about their achievements as much as those in their 40s glares at friend who is rubbing it in she's just bought, with help from daddy, a 4 bed house and how amazing it is to raise her kids in a good area and she can be a stay at home mummy

I always tell people that facebook is the polished turd of an otherwise ordinary life. People only ever share the best bits. They'll share the pictures of the flowers and chocolates and cards they got for mothers day but wont share that just last week they fought with their husband and they kicked him out because he had some porn on his phone.

The private stuff is always shared privately and you only see the cherry picked items.

Apple I don't know. I can see plenty of them on my FB and they are usually followed by plenty of comments 'Oh I hope you had a llovely day out/your DH is sooo nice/that look so great' etc etc
They look like they are pitied to me. Maybe on MN yes

Chippednail - I've lived in London all my life including 18 years in ropey cramped shares. I didn't have a lot of stuff because it wouldn't fit - and I wouldn't have considered £50 a month for storage either.

Applesetssail - not sure what your point is. People at work cannot help but show me and everyone what's on their FB page. I nod and mumble politely whilst wondering what the big interest is supposed to be. Selfies in zone 1 - tell me about it. Fucking selfie sticks are a bigger obstacle than those huge brollies favoured by suits.

YABU, it was ever thus. There were always those who sought after the most aspirational 'brands', those who demonstrated their 'superiority' by shunning these in favour of more niche offerings, and those who declared they were all going to the dogs. And those who shared their opinions with anyone who'd listen.

I think it's Jenny Ugloe who writes very well on conspicuous consumption amongst 18th century aristos. Haul vids have nothing on their exploits.

The only thing that's changed is that the ordinary man on the street suddenly has access to a global audience, if they're sufficiently interesting to the tastes of the vlogosphere. I can only see that as a democratic step forward, but the generation above me tends to struggle with it for whatever reason.

I don't think it's an age thing, just a social media thing. Whether it's wealth (pictures of what you've bought), luck in life (look at my beautiful family/house/shite), culture (look at what I'm eating/listening too) intelligence (look at this amazing article I've read and shared with you) social media is generally just many types of bragging.

It's not an age specific thing, either, I don't think the people who do brag on social media are horrible, immoral and vacuous people - just a bit insecure and sad.

Hm. To be honest, I don't think that being preoccupied by how much more serious/intelligent/moral/principled/whatever you are than so called fashion victims is any better than being a fashion victim. It's another form of vanity. And fwiw I wear make up and nice clothes, amazingly enough it doesn't mean that I have no intellectual interests or that I'm selfish.

Jassy I'm NOT on any social media

Except Mumsnet?

I assumed based on the fact that most of the stuff you complained about in your OP is social media-based.

Your workplace sounds odd if everyone's showing each other what's on their FB pages. Can't imagine many workplaces where that would go down well...

Going OT but another weird thing about selfies... A colleague went to Macchu Pichu with their partner. When they returned I was very interested to see their photos of this fascinating place. So I asked (despite the inherent tedium danger of other peoples' holiday snaps). What I saw was a lot of pics of them with some things vaguely in the background. Everyone was a close up of them. I'd be a bit glum to go all that way and have no pics to remember by but they seemed happy enough...