What to say to unreasonable (I think) colleague?

[Tanyaaah]

I work with someone who "kicks off" at another slightly annoying colleague every now and again, he's a bit of a stickler for the rules and she is a very loud, bubbly, friendly type who is lovely most of the time but shouts and swears in an unpleasant way if someone crosses her. Anyway, this happened the other day, I usually try to keep out of it and stay quiet but she was particularly unreasonable and stormed out, then he left then she came back and started ranting at me about him and I said, "oh, its fine" just trying to say "calm down" without saying it, then she started shouting at me, I said "don't shout at me!" and she just kicked off again, I told her I didn't want to hear it all again as I was sick of hearing their arguments and she shouted then stormed out. We didn't speak for the rest of the day. I have to work with her this week and I don't know what to do. Its ruined my weekend. I thought she'd apologise.
Should I text her? I really don't like a bad atmosphere and conflict. We have been pretty good friends until now!

If she tries to talk to you about it when you give her a lift, just say that it was upsetting to be shouted at and you would prefer not to relive the matter.

Good luck.

I would make it clear to her during the working day that you do NOT want to talk about it in the car, and if she can't stick to that she should arrange for either a taxi or someone else to come get her. Give her time to either make other arrangements or to swallow your request.

And talk to your boss.

It sounds like she thinks she's in the right completely and justified at shouting at people when she disagrees. Just tell your boss the truth because she's pretty much hanging herself with her own rope here anyway.

Just keep it civil, but be firm that you are not speaking about this with her again.

Don't second-guess yourself too much. She is a bully, and she is creating a horrible working environment for everyone. You are taking steps to protect your colleague, and you are perfectly normal in struggling to know how to deal with this. That's how bullies flourish - the behaviour is so surreally bad that the people around them can't quite believe it's as bad as it is. You should be proud that you are escalating this now, because frankly a lot of people wouldn't, and HR and management can't deal with idiots like this unless they do.

Thanks everyone. My boss is calling me tomorrow about it. Still have to get through work tonight, dreading it!

I hope no one I know or work with will recognise this!

OP, just tell your manager what you witnessed, including some background from that day. Keep it calm and factual, just in case everything blows up. It might be worth making a few notes of the things you want to mention, prior to the call.

Agree with others, don't be drawn into any conversations with your friend about it, if she tries to talk about it, just reiterate that it was an unpleasant for you, and you'd rather not discuss it any further.

Why are you dreading it? You emailed the boss and they said they'll speak to you tomorrow. That sounds more than reasonable to me. Calm down. Don't get involved in their shenanigans. Talk to your boss tomorrow.