Preschoolers "writing" in MD cards

[WorriedMuch]

My Facebook/Instagram feed is full of contacts gushing about Mothers' Day and in many cases with pictures of the inside of their MD cards, showing the little messages supposedly written by their preschoolers. (Let's ignore for the moment how smug this is).

As these are contacts from NCT, nursery etc, their kids are the same age as mine - just about to turn or just turned four.

My DD isn't interested in writing (or drawing, for that matter). Loves words and spotting letters, and is starting to read a bit, but couldn't give a monkeys about forming letters on paper. Can just about scrawl her initial and a handful of other letters, but certainly can't write "dear mummy, I love you, from Daniel" or whatnot, however messily.

She's starting school in September. AIBU to worry about her peers apparently being so much further ahead in this skill? Or to suspect that these messages were actually written left handed by the parents instead

2 of mine could and 1 couldn't at 4. Wouldn't be able to tell now which was which. It's a developmental stage that they'll reach eventually.

sugar

It's not even just about the rate the child is developing at (which doesn't ease your worries does it - is my child developing slowly?) it is also down to the nursery/pre-school they attend and what their focus is.

DS did not attend the nursery attached to his primary school. The school nursery was much more traditional, 3Rs focussed that the regular local nurseries/pre-schools which were play focussed and the school nursery children were way ahead in writing terms when DS (& a bunch of others) arrived in reception.

The head told us not to worry. And it was true, by the end of year 6, you couldn't tell which children had, effectively, started formal education a year earlier. I'm kind of glad DS got another year to play all day!

I have to add, DS was never interesting in any form of drawing/writing and his handwriting is still appalling but he's at a grammar school and thriving, they seem much more interested in what he writes, not the presentation of it.

(Actually by the end of reception you couldn't tell, it didn't take the whole of primary school for the non school nursery kids to catch up!)

My DD wrote her name on her own at 2y (nearly 3) - it was recognisable, and was copies. From a bit earlier she would have a go and manage some bits of it - she would try and copy over little dots. At 4y she could write her own name easily.

But DD was trying to write a bit early, I know this. But then in other areas I am sure she wasn't doing what some of her friends can no - so don't worry too much, they generally all develop different skills at different times and in different ways.

My four year old has written 'to mummy love pixie +++++' (not real name and can't do x's properly!)

She loves to write and draw. She knows her alphabet, can write to mummy and her name - Daddy helped with love.

She's always had good manipulative skills and she's now asking me to tell her words in her bedtime story. Nothing has been hothoused or forced - she just likes reading and writing.

It could stem from the fact that I work a lot at home and she has always sat next to me and done her 'work' - which started out as squiqqles and scrawls and has developed as she has got older/been at nursery. She went to Montessori at two and started learning to write her name from three.

Op- no offence taken. Fwiw for all her head start in writing and later catch up reading wise, her interest reversed itself soon as she was reading independently. And has remained that way.

Apologies too if I came over as having a go, I was more trying to point out it came across nasty than saying you are nasty iyswim? As I said I don't post stuff like that on facebook, but cos dd has always been very good at maths, I've spent years listening to people jump to silly conclusions about my involvement/ opinion on it. So coming at it from the other side.

DS could write at 4 if the letters were dictated. However he didn't learn to ride a bike until 6 despite many of his peers doing so earlier, he can't swim aged 7 and is upset that he's the only one in his swimming class who can't, was one of the slower ones at the school ice skating trip recently.

They all have different talents/skills. People tend to post on FB what their DC is best at. I expect your DD is ahead of her peers in different ways. And in writing, I expect she'll catch up.

dc3 can write her name at 3 and 2 months. she can also write mum, dad. she is curious and willing and asking constantly to read and how do i write x, y z....so we tell her.

in comparison dc1 and dc2 could not write their names till age 4/5 when in reception. even now age 10/8 they simply cannot be bothered and will scrawl their name at the bottom of a card rather than write love from x.

maybe it is male/female....maybe personality.....all i know is that dc3 wants to learn, is asking for notepad & pencil almost every day, and can produce little drawings that again the others couldn't till reception age. she is simply a little different.

but would i put her writings on social media - NO. no one likes a show off.

Yes yabu unreadable to suspect parents wrote them. You don't need to worry about your own daughter as she has plenty of time yet to develop but that doesn't mean other children won't already be developing these skills.

I have DS who couldn't draw a picture at that age let alone write anything. I remember being impressed at his first ever attempt to draw a picture, in his homework book when he started school. We taught him to write his name xmas of reception when he wanted to write Christmas cards for his friends.

DD at just-4 will enthusiastically and independently (if somewhat wonkily) write messages in cards, complete with cute phonetic spellings.

Both bright kids. DS writing now (Y2) is lovely when he can be bothered.

One friend's little boy is also just 4 and can write beautiful straight letters, but would mostly be copying except his own name. His handwriting and drawing are better than my nearly 7 yr old.

In short, they're all different! Starting to read before school will put your DD in that way ahead of many if not most.

Snobby I said no benefit in nurseries of parents teaching their dc to write ie before school. Five or six is the optimal age to teach children to read and write, obviously UK schools do it differently.

As for those saying I'm grumpy and horrible, well, either or both of those may be true. Sorry if that somehow affects you

I don't think anyone is 'affected' by it. They are answering the question you asked.

And since you ask OP, YABU in my opinion.

This is not people showing off diamond shoes or a Cartier watch, it's pictures of a hand scrawled card from a pre-schooler. Seriously, if that's 'smug' then I give up.

At four, mine could copy stuff. I know a couple of children who could write pretty well at four, many more who couldn't. It doesn't matter at this stage.

I was helping a 3yo make a card yesterday at an event. I got her to write her name on her own by going "nice straight line down here, now a circle..." She was so proud of herself. It was lovely.

But all of mine, even writing objector ds could write their names and more by 3yo. They taught them at preschool and I'd say it was unusual for a child not to be making a good attempt, and certainly most could do their own name by that point.