Preschoolers "writing" in MD cards

[WorriedMuch]

My Facebook/Instagram feed is full of contacts gushing about Mothers' Day and in many cases with pictures of the inside of their MD cards, showing the little messages supposedly written by their preschoolers. (Let's ignore for the moment how smug this is).

As these are contacts from NCT, nursery etc, their kids are the same age as mine - just about to turn or just turned four.

My DD isn't interested in writing (or drawing, for that matter). Loves words and spotting letters, and is starting to read a bit, but couldn't give a monkeys about forming letters on paper. Can just about scrawl her initial and a handful of other letters, but certainly can't write "dear mummy, I love you, from Daniel" or whatnot, however messily.

She's starting school in September. AIBU to worry about her peers apparently being so much further ahead in this skill? Or to suspect that these messages were actually written left handed by the parents instead

Fair enough. I'm quite prepared to believe I have unreasonable expectations about DD's developing skills. She'll get there.

As for those saying I'm grumpy and horrible, well, either or both of those may be true. Sorry if that somehow affects you.

I'm glad people are getting lovely messages from their kids (I did too, but didn't post pics on social media, mainly because it was a squiggle and some kisses). I'd be proud too if my daughter did that! I'm already proud though.

Some of my FB contacts have previous of being competitively boasty and a bit OTT with their kids skills etc (eg here's a papier-mâché mask my 14 month old just whipped up/this morning my 3 year old son made us all pancakes by himself...) in an effort to out-Pinterest and out-mummyblog each other, which I have to admit to finding tiring. But it's very possible their children are just brilliant. I wish them well.

My two Y1s could write their names before school but nothing else. While they were ahead in reading and maths, yes, I'd say they have been behind most of their peers in handwriting. I think it was more to do with fine motor control than practice. Now, halfway through Y1, they can suddenly both write beautifully.

Dd could write at that age. Couldn't spell except her name but had the fine motor control to copy anything. And had no interest in learning to read, soon as she did become interested she learnt rapidly. So the reverse of your child. Would you appreciate being called smug and a liar because you say she's interested in words when other preschool kids aren't yet?

Just because your child can't do something doesn't mean other parents are lying and boasting because their kids can. I don't really get the whole need to post that stuff on facebook, but posting a card they've written is no more smug than posting one they've scribbled in.

I work at a preschool, we try to encourage the children to be able to write their own name by the time they start primary school with letters that are generally recognisable. Not all the children get to this point but it doesn't matter, they will be doing this in their first year of primary school and can easily catch up then. You can have a go with her at home - get her a dinner placemat with her name on and sound the letters out with her before she sits down to eat. You can also get her to practise writing letters from her name and think of fun ways to help her remember how to write it eg the letter g is "round the girls head and down her plait". Sounds like she has an interest already which is half the battle! Please don't read too much into Facebook posts - they're not always accurate.

BackInTheRealWorld - not bitter, more concerned about her being left behind. But I do wonder whether I'm getting an unrealistic picture of other kids' skills because their parents only post the most amazing stuff on social media (not the squiggles) so I feel like she's further behind than perhaps she is. Does that make sense?

I know parents who write in pencil and get their little ones to write over the top in pen!

My 5 year old (Y1) learned cursive writing, so already has lovely joined up handwriting. I can't believe how well she writes, so probably no-one else will!

Lurkedforever1 - you're quite right. I didn't mean to say that people being proud of their kids was smug and apologies if it came out that way.

I shouldn't post here when I've been up all night.

Yanbu to worry. But you don't neeeed to worry. They all develop at different times in different areas. The montessori school my ds went to would say it all evens out by the time they are 7. Ds didn't read till he was in year 1 (and no-one pushed him, because montessori is great like that), and then he covered in 6months what his peers had spent the last 3 years working on.

Worried, I have often worried about similar things on FB. It was usually drawings.

I have 3 DC.

DD1 was good at drawing quite young and not surprisingly she found writing very easy, I have a Mother's Day card from her written by her when she was 3 1/4. Before she started school she was writing little notes to us (with terrible spelling) every day and she still loves writing, we spend a fortune on notebooks for her!

DD2 wasn't writing much beyond her name when she started school at 4 but at 6 is doing fine at school.

DS is 3 1/2. He can recognise the first letter of his name. No interest in drawing or writing. I'm not worried, the letter I got a couple of days ago from the HV didn't mention writing or drawing as a skill that a 3 1/2 year old should have. They were more interested in: Can they match 2 or 3 colours? Can they walk up the stairs? Do they like messy play? Is the pope catholic?

I'm already proud though.

Don't you mean smug? Just like the mothers who are "smug" about what their children have done rather than simply being proud and happy.

I despise the ridiculous overuse of the word smug on MN.

I wouldn't worry, OP. Children develop skills at different rates. I have 2 summer born children and I found that both really blossomed once they started school.

My DS is 4, 5 in May, so in Reception now. He could just about write his name this time last year, but this year he can write very well. He has made me a card this morning with loads of little sentences in it. My favourite is quite possibly "I hate it when we are apart and if a car rund you over I would be sad"

I thought Facebook was a way of sharing lovely things with your friends and extended family about your family achievements. If I see my friend has posted something their child who I love has achieved then I am pleased for them. I don't see it as a smug competition.

I wonder if people know how nasty their 'friends' are about the things they post. It says more about the numerous people moaning on Mumsnet about what their friends post on Facebook that the people who are posting.

Also, there's nothing wrong with drawing in pencil and letting them trace over it as one poster mentioned. It just develops their pencil grip and control surely? It doesn't mean you're somehow 'pretending' to anyone that your child is Einstein.

It is far better for children to learn to read and write at five or six. Parents/ nurseries are not doing children any favours teaching them to write at three or just turned four.

This is not about whether or not preschooler can write, this is about the evil competitiveness that bizarrely FB brings out.

Why on earth would anybody put their Mother's Day/birthday/Christmas card onf FB? Honestly, they whole thing defeats me

I got a slobbery kiss and a picture of sunflowers from DS4 - he's about to turn 6, he can read and write and is a master artist. No words required.

Have a lovely Mother's Day, everybody

I won't start ranting about how much I detest MD, honest

A large number of reception class children have just turned four when they start school. I'm sure the parents would be thrilled that little Timmy isn't allowed to learn to write until he's 5 or 6!

We used to mark the outline of the letters in DS's name for him to trace over, using little dots of pencil. He couldn't write his own name independently till at school.

Bunnyjo, that is a lovely sentiment your DS expressed there!

Why does it have to be a competition about which child can write their name. There are no prizes!

Im off to visit dds grave

Have a nice Mother's day

Sorry but did you honestly just say you didn't share your child's effort on social media because it was a squiggle and some kisses? Would you have happily shared it if she had managed to write something? That's awfully sad

My dd is an August baby in reception. She can write her name but is not that interested in writing, like she can't see the point of it (yet...I hope!).. She did write her name in my card and 'mum', but generally resists any letter writing at home! Fair enough, she is only 4.5.
As for drawing she loves mark making but hardly ever draws anything recognisable....trying not to worry as she picks up on it so easily.
I think they all develop at different rates in different things (that's what I'm telling myself anyway!)
Happy Mother's Day!

PaulAnkaTheDog - no, I didn't share it on social media because it was meaningful to me, but not to anyone else.

DD is 3.5 and can write her name without copying it. Given something to copy she can manage other words too. She is good at drawing but awful at other skills some of the other children are good at.

I didn't post her MD card on social as it is private but she did do "Love DD" and drew a picture of me in it. I think it is unfair to say it's parents doing it left handed, just let everyone do what makes them happy!