Is 16 and adult or a child?

[CalleighDoodle]

Not a thread about a thread. Actually a thread about two threads so technically...

Ive read today very different responses to questions about people the same age. Similar issues (sexual relationships). different sexes.

How can a female at 16 be called an adult who should be allowed to do what she wants, despite that behaviour being very risky, yet a male at 16 is a child who shouldnt date one person 6/7 years older?

I know a number of late-teen women who married men at least 10 years older than them. Is that ok because they are a more adulty adult that a 16 year old woman, and much more of an adult of a 16 year old 'boy'?

Aibu here or is the sexism on a women's forum towards women really quite unbelievable?

Even a 16 year old who acts like an adult lacks experience and maturity and this makes them vulnerable.

There is no context that makes a 16 year old an adult. There is context that can make them a very mature 16 year old, or the opposite, but that does not change anything.

Youth ( or Yout as they said in "My Cousin Vinny" )

I have a 16yo DS and he is very much still a child IMO .

I read the first few posts on the other thread.

The sea would froth with blood if a 23yo with a child of their own took a shine to my DS

I was 16 when I got with my exdh, he was 23, with a new born and a 2 year old... We were together for 5 years and got married, no children. It wasn't the best relationship in the world - obviously, as it ended, but it wasn't all bad either, we travelled the world together (with the youngest child, as she mainly lived with us from birth), we had a mortgage when I was 17! My friendship group was mainly male (same class from primary school who had grew up together) they were in no way ready for the sort of life I was living, but I was, I have no regrets as such.

I generally don't believe we should treat male/female too differently, but my own experiences go against those beliefs somewhat.

Would I want my own DD or DS with a partner so much older at 16, I really don't know - its not a definite no though, I would probably have to judge cases on their individual merits really.

Child

I think 16 is a child, I don't personally think you are mature enough to be classed as an adult until 18

I think the argument that when you look back on your behaviour at 18 you think you lacked the maturity you thought you had and therefore 18 is a child makes less sense than those saying it assume, because for a lot of us looking back from our late 30s, 40s, 50s exactly the same could be said of ourselves at 25 tbh - you can't just not let anyone be an adult til they are 5 / 10 years younger than however old you happen to be at the time :o

16 is not an adult though it is not a child - 16-18 is an in between phase of young-adulthood, though I wouldn't have a problem with that young adult phase being 15-18 or even 14-18....

We live in Germany and my DD is the youngest in her school year - education is only compulsory for 9 years, and as she was still 5 (and 11 months) when she started school (which is unusualish) she could leave school at 14 (and 10 months). She won't, but she could.

I work with a very capabe, competent, mature young woman who has almost finished her 3 year apprenticeship as a specialist nursing home carer (I don't know what the equivalent would be in the UK, but it is a full time 3 year course with a mix of work and college, probably like an NVQ level 3 in health care - she can do a lot of things a nurse can do) .

She is 17. If she's not an adult then I'm probably not either, and I'm 40.

the law contradicts, on the one hand they're old enough to have sex and drink according to the law (not in my parental books). On the otherhand they're still protected by child protection laws until 18? I think it's messed up, the USA has got it correct with a higher age. They base it on the fact the brain is still developing hence the restriction of 21.

If my child thinks its ok to have sex at 16 I will be telling them to get a job and their own place, because they're not doing that under my roof. if you want to play like an adult behave like one. So many teen pregnancies and a lot of them stay with mummy and daddy, and bank of mum and dad pay for everything, and do most the childcare. if you're old enough to dabble in sex accept the responsibilities like an adult too.

Child

Young adult if you want to nit-pick, but that's another way of saying an 'old child'

Having read threads on MN, I have wondered about this too.

Certainly I have read on fervent condemnation of 15 year olds having sexual relationships with older men - rightfully so.

Yet on here I've also read that 13/14 year olds having sexual relationships with children of a similar age, or even older is absolutely fine (no issues with coercion or anything) and you apparently can't stop teenagers having sex at all, ever.

We hear about Cool Wives on here, but there are quite a few Cool Parents on here, who can't wait for their children to grow up, so they can hang out with them, instead if having to parent them.

I think I was mature very young I was forced to grow up by my mother. If I had been thrown out at 16 I would have been scared but I knew how to access benefits since I had done all applications for parents as a young child. I knew how to get on the housing register too, and get a job, I had one from 15 anyway. so I think I would have survived but education would have been non existant i'd have to work to survive.

but today I look at my 15 yr old nephew he can't even vacuum a room, plate his own food, h doesn't attend gp on his own. My youngest brother is 26 and squabbles with my 9 year old and gets moody about it, I wonder whats happened to the new generation?

Most 16 year olds are still children.

Many may well think they are adults, but when it comes down to it most are still pretty dependent children. Older children certainly, but children none the less.

• from a quick online search, re definition:

What is the legal age of a child?
In England and Wales and in Northern Ireland a minor is a person under the age of 18; in Scotland, under the age of 16.

At 16 you are an adult in Scotland. You Can get married without permission and can vote in Scottish elections. The fact that 16 year olds can not vote in Westminster elections is wrong, whatever happened to the law of 'no taxation without representation', but that is a whole other thread.

I travelled the world (well part of it - India, Nepal, Vietman, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Inonesia, Australia) alone for a year and left three weeks after my 18th birthday. I phoned home once a month and wrote more often but the letters took weeks or longer to arrive. My parents may have been shitting themselves but the wisest thing my mother ever said was that she knew that if she tried to forbid me or stop me from going she knew I just wouldn't come back. The immaturity is in the selfishness of not worrying about them worrying I guess - but that kind of maturity can hold you back from properly living ... Looking back from a distance of over 20 years I do not think I was a child at 18. I returned to visit my parents for a couple of weeks then went to university, and stayed in my uni town or went abroad to work every long holiday.

I guess parents generally keep the leash a lot shorter these days, putting their own psychological discomfort about not knowing exactly where their adult children are what they are doing before letting the adult children spread their wings and embrace all the world has to offer, make their own mistakes and have real, genuine, incredible, independent adventures - and and technology enables that, so maybe that is part of what keeps people from growing up by 18. 18 though, not 16 (though I did also travel alone internationally at 16 I wasn't an adult).

You can get taxed in the UK if you are 2 years old, and plenty of people pay taxes in a country where they can't vote. There is no particular link between being taxed and voting.

There are some very, very mature 12 year olds and plenty of children have to care for adults and take on huge amounts of responsibility. They are still children.

Katarz I think part of the problem is that there are a significant number of parents who think that this:

"but today I look at my 15 yr old nephew he can't even vacuum a room, plate his own food, h doesn't attend gp on his own"

is something to boast about!

and exactly as you imply it leads to this:

"but today I look at my 15 yr old nephew he can't even vacuum a room, plate his own food, h doesn't attend gp on his own. My youngest brother is 26 and squabbles with my 9 year old and gets moody about it"

Sometimes it can be inadequate parenting that forces children to grow up to fast - but good parenting helps them actually grow up, not stay frozen in a state of very early adolescence for ten years (or indefinitely)!

Sixteen is still a child.
I read (very recently) that under 25 is regarded as adolescent, above as adult.
Not sure about the child/adolescent cut off.

Physically a man does not mature until 21/22 so the brain may take longer . I would say a woman would mature to adulthood slightly earlier but these are all generalizations.

It's not unusual to go travelling or go to university at 18.

That isn't really the point.

A 16 year old is not yet experienced or mature enough to be treated completely as an adult. That is why, for instance, people under 18 don't go to adult prisons and the age of consent is 18 if the older person holds a position of trust.

This isn't about teaching children to tidy their rooms. It is about protecting people who are still vulnerable.

whatever happened to the law of 'no taxation without representation'

The was the American Revolution.

The British were on the other side.

merrymouse well of course its not unusual - because 18 year olds are and should be adults.

I am not arguing that 16 year olds are vulnerable and should be protected, I am arguing with the people who think that because they were less mature at 18 than at 35/45 that means 18 should not be an adult either.

This isn't about teaching children to tidy their rooms. It is about protecting people who are still vulnerable.

I agree with merrymouse on that.

I am not arguing against* the fact that 16 year olds are vulnerable and should be protected - 16 and 17 year olds are young adults, which is the end phase of childhood but not fully fledged adults IMO.

Obviously 16 year olds vary in maturity but as a general rule I would say a child but even worse a child who thinks they are an adult which means they often put themselves in danger.