To hate sleepovers because of this?

[MattDillonsPants]

I avoid them where possible. But just now and then I have to let DDs have them.

My issue is "other people's children" in the main.

I am always shocked when they challenge me....even on small things. AIBU to think that it must be down to bad parenting?

My DC would never challenge the parent of a friend like this child has! Examples are..me telling the girls that they need to go back to their room...we're not in the UK and it's night here...10.30 and they're aged 8...they'd got out of bed and come into the kitchen for water which they already had in their bedroom...and the visiting child said "But we just want to watch the tv."

Similarly earlier, DH put a film on in DDs room for them and the friend said :Awwww...we want to watch it in the sitting rooooom"

Another one is me saying their dinner was ready and could they come and the friend saying "I just want to finish this puzzle.'

Erm...no. Your dinner is ready now, put it down please.

She KEPT TRYING. So frustrating!

Constant. Everything we do....this child has had sleepovers here before, she has them at other people's houses...so it's not that she's uncomfortable...they've been well fed, exercised and entertained. She IS a nice kid in so many ways....is this normal? To challenge like this?

Am I really strict?

If you were to answer me honestly, would your child challenge their friend's parents like this?

No, my DC wouldn't challenge another child's parents in this way even though 2 of them are quite spirited. They save all that stuff for me. I wouldn't be happy if I was told that they'd behaved like that for someone else. They'd never challenge their teachers either.

I love having children over who are willing to talk to me, are friendly, and capable of expressing opinions and sometimes being humourous

The problem is that when I get a child like that playing or sleeping over here they're just demanding stuff, not having a nice conversation with me. Always wanting something different or to move onto the next thing. Never bloody happy with what is on offer but still wanting to come again. I don't think so

What age do sleepovers start?
Dreading them.

Well, we survived. Lights went out at ten and they were out cold by twenty past. They appeared at quarter to seven this morning. I'm dropping them home so I can control when they go

Would have them again as they've been no problem, maybe I struck lucky!

Icelolly, this lot are nine. A few friends have done sleepovers but could probably count them on one hand.

God, I really can't imagine my DC would ever question another adult - but - I just don't know. How could I, if I've never actually seen them in action when I'm not around.

I pray to God they wouldn't, and drum the basic manners reminders into them on the way to play dates (haven't gone down the sleep over route yet), but I'm sure at least some of it goes out the window when all the excitement kicks in.

I find anyone who says so categorically, my child would just never ...' to be deluded. OK, they might not ever challenge another adult, but they could well do xxx other thing that that particular host parent finds equally annoying. So it amounts to the same thing.

Wow; u r in for a shock when those little 8 year olds start having "real" sleepovers!! My house is currently overrun by moody, loud, hormonal 13 year olds and I have been hiding out I my bedroom since 8pm last night!!!! They don't say please or thank u at any point, listen to horrid music, giggle and squeal about the ridiculous photos of each other they have just pointed on snapchat and then stay awake till 4am high on sugar (I restrict it but the other kids all bring a bag each which equals lots still. These are girls whose parents I know (and have done since 5yr +) so I can categorically say that their behaviour is the result of hormones rather than bad parenting!!! The only saving grace is that they won't emerge till 11am or later from daughters bedroom and will then require lifts home!!!

Not all 13yo's are like that, mishmash, it's a shame that you seem to have a rum lot at your house.

Hand on heart, my dc's teenage friends are a delight. Polite, helpful, tidy, considerate. I genuinely enjoy them.

JerryFerry; my sons friends are too. I think it is their age. They r all very hormonal currently and their behaviour is a huge change from 12m ago. I also know from experience that the most delightfully behaved children r usually the ones who go crazy at some point!! I was one of them but I was 17 when it happened!

I remember being young, and being terrified of other people's parents. I was scared of my mum and teachers as well.

Then I look back to my early teenage years, and feel so guilty about how I treated other people's homes. I never seemed to be at my own house, and I pretty much moved in to some of my friend's houses. I would eat them out of house and home, and take over their TV. I don't know why they didn't tell me off or kick me out. They must have just been really nice, but I always feel awful looking back.

I can keep it together with most kids if I know them well, but one little girl was a real pain and won't be invited back any time soon. She was always pretending to hurt herself, or pretending to need rescuing from the slide or something. My ds would run around after her every whim and bossy demand. I told her that it was time to go home now, as we were going out, and she kept saying "I'm just adding one last colour to my picture." and just stalling for ages. She also whispered to me that she didn't even like ds. Just his toys apparently. She's the only one that I would really rather not have to deal with.

Whoa... OP actually sets bedtimes at sleepovers?
I have mentioned on MN that I set bedtimes & been heartily laughed at for it.
Because I really can't do with hosting Wake-Overs.
I also despair because NOBODY ever brings own toothbrush.
Don't care if they argue or ask for daft things, they are easily brushed off.

lljkk well not bedtimes as in..."Now you must go to sleep" but bedtimes as in "Now you must go in your room, shut the door and do what the hell you like"

That's all. I don't want them careering round the house at 11.00pm...it's a recipie for disaster with two 8 year olds!

TWO? Come on MattD, toughen up. If you can't handle a couple of over-excited 8yos how are you gonna do with stropping strapping 14yos.

I also insist (sleepovers) that they shut selves in, make no noise I can hear outside the room, & the lights must go off. I will remove big devices, too. I am Evil Mom (cackle cackle cackle).

Noooo. They're 8! They can bugger off to bed. It's not that I can't handle them I just choose not to. I've always been the same with my own DC!

Once it's bedtime then I clock off...I'm no longer available and neither is MY space. Unless they're ill.