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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is enough to call the police?

32 replies

haggislagis · 04/03/2016 10:43

Broke up with an ex a few minths ago. Was getting texts everyday and silent calls to my home and work too- at least one on each a day. Then came the suicide guilt trip when zi didnt reply.

I called the police, more out of concern than anything who gave him a verbal warning. This was 2 weeks ago. Not heard a peep since.

Woke up this morning from a text saying it was a friend of his thanking me for my concern.

Should i call the police?

New DP thinks im being ridiculous

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 04/03/2016 10:44

I don't think there's anything to tell the police, is there?

MTPurse · 04/03/2016 10:47

What are You actually going to report?

AuntieFlaubert · 04/03/2016 10:49

It sounds like he is trying to guilt trip you for being with new DP. Nothing more for the police to do at the moment - just carry on ignoring.

squishee · 04/03/2016 10:49
Hmm
Mooey89 · 04/03/2016 10:49

I wouldn't, but I would document it, then if you get more you have evidence of multiple 'low level' contacts.

TopHat33 · 04/03/2016 10:50

I don't understand. To report his friend texting you?

10storeylovesong · 04/03/2016 10:52

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

10storeylovesong · 04/03/2016 10:53

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

Original poster
haggislagis · 04/03/2016 10:53

Sorry I wasnt very clear in my post. They gave him a verbal warning not to contact me again.

I dont know if this is a) him just texting me saying its someone else or b) someone else texting me but this is his way of getting to me iyswim

OP posts:
Collaborate · 04/03/2016 10:57

I think it's worth going to the police over. If he's asked a friend to contact you then it's really him who is contacting you, ergo he's in breach of the order.

SolidGoldBrass · 04/03/2016 11:08

Report the text to the police. Don't reply to it.
It's not a 'waste of their time' to report that someone who has previously had a verbal warning for stalking you has attempted to make contact again. Whether it's a friend of this cock's or just him on a burner phone or whatever, you don't want any contact and therefore should not be subjected to it.

Hennifer · 04/03/2016 11:14

Don't reply, and do log it with the police. If it escalates, tell them again. Keep the messages.

Original poster
haggislagis · 04/03/2016 11:26

Will they not do anythig this time round? He was told not to contact me and he has

OP posts:
mouldycheesefan · 04/03/2016 11:31

Change your mobile number.

Hennifer · 04/03/2016 11:33

I don't know. I think you should speak to them and ask.

joyfulworld · 04/03/2016 11:39

Yes, why not change your mobile number instead?

Original poster
haggislagis · 04/03/2016 11:46

Dont think theres any point. Plus i cant really because of work and it will be a massive faff getting my number to different people

OP posts:
mouldycheesefan · 04/03/2016 11:49

If it's worth calling the police surely it's worth the 'massive faff of telling people your new number. You just send a mass text saying this is haggis new number. It's one text. Job done. Then ex partner won't have your number and can't contact you rather than continue doing so and you call the police every time.

Ginkypig · 04/03/2016 11:57

Only the police can decide if it's worth pursuing.

Call and tell them the history and their involvement so far and then tell them about the new txt. If they think it warrants looking into they will, they will probably add the new information on your current case.

Do not reply to the txt though. Do not ever engage ok.

Good luck.

WitchWay · 04/03/2016 11:57

Would his friend have any reason to contact you independently of exP? If not I'd let the Police know.

ClarenceTheLion · 04/03/2016 13:02

It's probably a ruse to get more attention from you again.

I read a book on stalkers recently, and the golden rule is NO contact at all. If he has died, you'll find out sooner or later and there's nothing to be done anyway. And contacting police also starts it all up again. "She went to the police to make sure I'm okay! She loves me! I'm going to win her!"

Unless something happens to actually frighten you, don't give him any oxygen to keep this going.

ClarenceTheLion · 04/03/2016 13:05

Will they not do anythig this time round? He was told not to contact me and he has

A chat with the police is not like a restraining order. He hasn't broken the law by texting you from a friends phone, which is most likely, he's just gone against their request.

From what you say, it seems like it's all dying down. The last thing you want to do is fan the flames back up!

SolidGoldBrass · 04/03/2016 17:45

Why should OP change her phone number because of this creepy prick? He's the one in the wrong.

And if she has recieved another text from him, or on his behalf, then it's not 'all dying down', it's starting up again.

Hennifer · 04/03/2016 17:50

I think the police are very quick to tell people to change their number. Certainly in my experience it's been their main suggestion, sometimes their only suggestion.

Crispbutty · 04/03/2016 17:53

if you have an iphone, put it on do not disturb, then change the settings so that only people on your favourites list can ring you. add those people to favourites, and nobody else can call you.