Number of kids with LD or additional needs increasing?

[Curiocat]

Hi all,

This is a sensitive topic so want to start off by saying I'm in no way having a dig or being goady etc. From following aibu and other boards it seems like many parents have kids with some form of additional needs and numbers seem to have increased in recent years.

I wondered what the percentage of kids that will have SN/LDs and if the numbers are indeed on the rise, or is it that just that people are open about the issues their kids face, and we talk/are more aware about it more these days?

I could be completely wrong here- just an observation on my part from lurking the past few months, and of course massive well done/ admiration to all parents that do contend with this alongside all the other trials and tribulations that come with children! X

I don't go around telling everybody, I don't announce it to the world, but if people ask or it comes up in conversation I will talk about it easily, that's what I mean. It's bit a secret.

It's NOT a secret!

Redroses I was going to make a (FFS) comment at 3:40am, unfortunately DS was having another nightmare about something that we currently have no control over and now other people have pretty much said what I was going to.

These threads pop up regularly and the same people say the same things on every one of them, trying to get an OP to understand that until the advent of Care in the Community not many children with disabilities were seen because they were shut away in institutions for their entire lives, diagnosis was poor and outcomes were worse, many children were not entitled to an education because they were classed as uneducable, the world in general has come a long way in terms of accepting members of society with physical disabilities but there is still more to do in terms of hidden disabilities. I have wondered how many children ended up in approved schools or reform schools because of undiagnosed Asperger's or what is now termed high functioning Autism.

People still make comments like the one Redroses made and the parents of children with disabilities still have to fight for the rights of their children, whether that be an adequate education or suitable medical interventions.
Parents are still being told that their child is not severe enough to warrant a statutory assessment and this is often by people not qualified to make that decision.

Parents are still being told that their children are fine in school and then the children are being illegally excluded or worse still permanently excluded because of their disability. Parents have to fight for their children's rights often at a great financial cost, then there are the parents who haven't got the financial resources to fight for those rights, so as their grow up they become more excluded and the adult services become harder to access.

OP it doesn't matter whether or not certain disabilities have become more prevalent what matters is whether or not those disabilities are supported by society and when they are not supported by society something needs to be done.

I've thought long and hard about my reply to these comments. If people ask me nicely then yes I would explain how we came to have 5 children with SN. But I find comments like the ones redroses made quite offensive and rude actually.

I find having children with SN to be like having a husband who comes with a really annoying MIL. The children aren't really the difficult part, it's the forms, red tape and other stuff that's the hardest part, along with people who tell me I shouldn't have had my children. Although the sleepless nights, operations etc aren't exactly a picnic either.

Afternoon folks. We thought now might be a good time just to pop by with a link to our This Is My Child Campaign here

Aww, Redroses aren't you getting enough attention.

I've worked with Sense previously, which was in both the day centre for young adults and also in the houses which were lived in by clients with 24 hour support workers. Recently I've spent three years working with a charity which helps children with complex medical needs. A lot of those families are now very good friends, one mum has asked my dp to be godfather for her son at his christening next month, another family we are going on holiday with.

So I've met and interacted with children and adults whose SN range from mild learning difficulties to extremely rare genetic conditions. And I treated and still treat them all the same. I celebrate alongside the family when their child takes their first steps aged 6 at the same time as the 11 year old getting as n A in gcse maths. And I don't underestimate the difficulties the mum of the 11 year old faces with a child who has very high functioning autism but the social skills of a toddler.

Ironically, it's being around so many dc with ASD which made me realise my youngest dd was showing a lot of traits. She's waiting for an assessment. It hurts that I had to ditch a friend over it though as she kept referring to my dd as "a fucking little brat" to other people and I would most likely have flattened her if she had ever said it to my face.

I don't think that a child who will never take exams has nothing to offer. I think that there is a space for everyone in the world and even if they are never able to work they still give joy to others with ever little achievement. My time at the day centre was Brilliant. Chaotic, fun and despite having food thrown at me and my hair pulled, the good times out weighed the bad by miles. We had a young lady there who had been hit by a car as a child, she was tube fed, couldn't move her arms and legs independently and was asleep an awful lot of the time but if you were ever on the receiving end of one of her rare smiles, you were on a high all day.

We also had a man in his 50s with autism who took 18 months to get used to me but the day he shook my hand and made eye contact I felt I'd won the lottery.

I wish my own disabilities didn't prevent mm e going back to work as being a support worker with these young people is incredibly rewarding.

my LD/ASD DD has a very rare de-novo (means new and not passed on from me or her dad) chromosome disorder causing her issues. nobody knows what caused her chromo issue but a lot of people argue that due to pollution etc chromo issues are more common these days (and often they present with LD).

They asked why I would even hire him': Restaurant owner takes to Facebook to slam customers who refused to be served by autistic waiter
Restaurant owner Mike Jennings slams customers for treatment of waiter
Customers asked not to be served by Andy Foster, who suffers from autism
Mr Foster, 45, only started three weeks ago and juggles work with role as a registered carer for his mother, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease
Mr Jennings wrote Facebook post asking customers not to discriminate
By TOM WYKE FOR MAILONLINE and AGENCIES

PUBLISHED: 12:01, 5 March 2016 | UPDATED: 14:35, 5 March 2016

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A restaurant owner has spoken out against customers who asked not to be served by an autistic member of his waiting staff.

Mike Jennings, who runs the Grenache restaurant in Worsley, near Manchester, said he was 'astonished' when a table of customers shunned waiter Andy Foster, who suffers from autism.

Mr Foster, 45, only started working at Grenache three weeks ago and juggles his job with his role as a registered carer for his mother, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease.

Andy Foster, 45, (left) only started working at Grenache three weeks ago and juggles his job with his role as a registered carer for his mother, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease. He has been backed by owners Mike Jennings (right) and his partner Karen Deveney (centre)
+4
Andy Foster, 45, (left) only started working at Grenache three weeks ago and juggles his job with his role as a registered carer for his mother, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease. He has been backed by owners Mike Jennings (right) and his partner Karen Deveney (centre)

Mike Jennings, who runs the Grenache restaurant in Worsley, near Manchester, said he was 'astonished' when a table of customers shunned waiter Andy Foster, who suffers from autism
+4
Mike Jennings, who runs the Grenache restaurant in Worsley, near Manchester, said he was 'astonished' when a table of customers shunned waiter Andy Foster, who suffers from autism

'The customers seemed to have a problem with him, even though his service was good,' said chef and proprietor Mike.

'I explained that he suffered from autism and their response was that they didn't want to be served by him. They asked me why I would give him a job in a restaurant like ours. I couldn't believe it.'

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Mike was so taken aback by the incident that he decided to write a post on the restaurant's Facebook account, asking anyone with a similar discriminatory attitude not to book a table.

The post has been well-received, gaining hundreds of 'likes' as the message of support for Andy has been spread across the internet.

Mr Jennings was so taken aback by the incident that he decided to write a post on the restaurant's Facebook account, asking anyone with a similar discriminatory attitude not to book a table
+4
Mr Jennings was so taken aback by the incident that he decided to write a post on the restaurant's Facebook account, asking anyone with a similar discriminatory attitude not to book a table

Mr Jennings (right) said: 'I explained that he (Andy, pictured left) suffered from autism and their response was that they didn't want to be served by him. They asked me why I would give him a job in a restaurant like ours. I couldn't believe it'
+4
Mr Jennings (right) said: 'I explained that he (Andy, pictured left) suffered from autism and their response was that they didn't want to be served by him. They asked me why I would give him a job in a restaurant like ours. I couldn't believe it'

Mr Jennings and his partner Karen said they felt they 'had to make a stand' after witnessing the customer's behaviour towards Mr Foster.

The restaurant owner said: 'The incident really knocked his confidence and we had to take him to one side and let him know that we certainly didn't feel that way.

'All we care about is someone having enthusiasm and passion. The rest we can teach.'

Mr Foster was diagnosed with autism seven years ago and said it was not the first time he has suffered discrimination due to his condition.

'I always feel that it's automatically my fault and I go into defence mode. I always think I have to apologise,' he said as he recalled a past incident.

'When I apologised to the customer she made such a fuss. The other table I was serving left a big tip so I knew it wasn't me.

'I try not to take it personally because it has happened so many times in the past I have just got used to it.'

Andy said he was delighted when Mr Jennings and Ms Deveney were so supportive towards him.

'Mike and Kaz have been so supportive saying it's not my fault,' he said.

'The customers said they didn't know I was autistic but I shouldn't have to walk around with a t-shirt on explaining it.

I think this needed to be posted to show the ignorance and discrimination that follows Autistic people even if they can do a job as well as anyone else !

'They asked why I would even hire him': Restaurant owner takes to Facebook to slam customers who refused to be served by autistic waiter .

I think that in itself displays some of the ignorance and bile , suggested by posters such as Red Roses !

This is the type of world my DS is coming in to ! A world that makes fun of someone for not walking in a straight line (has happened to me last week) and not on their 'maths' skills or cognitive thinking that my DS processes.

I wonder if the additional time that you can get in exams (GCSE/A levels) if you have certain dx might mean some parents get a dx when they wouldn't otherwise. This would only apply to kids with milder SEN.

yay mn hq have linked to a campaign that is only aimed at children.

so no more posting about my adult child with sn

Do you need a diagnosis in England? I thought the rules were fairly similar to up here?

They are I've just looked, no diagnosis needed at all.

I think that Redroses has asked a valid question, albeit one that would make most people uncomfortable. Speaking as someone on the spectrum, I do wonder why women go on to have lots of children when some are already struggling with some sort of disability etc. Obviously it's different if the children weren't diagnosed for a long time and mum went on to have more not knowing.

Was it the Mawdesley by any chance, MrsDeVere? :)

" Obviously it's different if the children weren't diagnosed for a long time and mum went on to have more not knowing."

Why? Why is it different?

Do you feel that having autism means you shouldn't exist?

Because that is what that question suggests, that people shouldn't be born based purely on whether there's a chance they might have an SN...not the income or ability of the parents to cope, not whether those children are going to be happy fulfilled adults because none of that was raised by ellie's post.

literally the only thing she posted about was that her DC have SNs yet are all individuals with strengths and weaknesses and that she's trying to raise them to feel equally as important as anyone else.

Which bit of that information makes someone think some of her DC shouldn't have been born?

In what way is it a valid question, flowers, apart from the fact that it's not the business of anybody to question the reproductive choices of other folk, one would have thought it just good manners to mind your own business. I have three children with differences and I have an ASC diagnosis.

Flowers not related but I know someone who has tunnel vision - at age 70 now he is almost blind and his sight has deteriorated for many years leaving him dependant on his wife.

The condition is passed to males only. His DD who's now in her early 40s has 2 boys. Had no screening for them.

Maybe I'm being incredibly judgy or harsh but I would not want to have boy children in that circumstance and would screen if necessary. As far as I know there is no cure for tunnel vision.

My neighbour who has an autistic spectrum son and a non autistic DD has often said how hard she finds it and personally it's ruined her marriage so she's told me (she's now divorced) but she also thinks her DH has some sort ASD disorder.

I'm not sure if I'd test or not for SN/ASD/spectrum.

I have 3 DC, two need extra time in exams, one has dyslexia (which I was told by one Ed Psych is not a diagnosis). The DC with a diagnosis of Aspergers does not need extra time.
Extra time is based on demonstrated need, which involves testing by a suitably qualified individual, to see they need the time to do the activities involved in sitting an exam (writing speed, reading speed, spelling, processing speed - the speed of understanding and responding to questions) AND they need to normally need extra time to carry out their work eg. In the classroom. It has got much harder to get extra time,methane used to be the case.

Oh and all three of my children have a lot to offer society, and the world will be a richer place for them.

Yohoodlum I don't think anyone would try to get a diagnoses just to get extra time in exams. A diagnosis can take years to get and can be stressful to both the child and their families, they are not handed out like smarties and will involve multiple professionals ( in our case it was community Paediatrician, occupational therapist, Physiotherapist, 3 child and adolescent mental health workers, 2 Clinical Psychologists, Podiatrist, MABS, Specialist Teacher Advisor, Autism Unit Manager/Teacher, mainstream school SENCO, and it was all started off by a wonderful GP, all over a period of 5years) your kind of comments help no one and are part of the reason why parents get such a hard time.

I grew up with a sibling with autism and passing it on does frighten me if I am to be very honest. Only because I see now how hard his life is (and mine.)