to say no to organising a hen do for a wedding I'm not even invited to?

[Carlywurly]

This is awkward. Slightly senior colleague, unaware she is very unpopular at work (mainly because she is very bossy and self obsessed) I sit near her alongside a woman who is her friend, but who is slightly socially awkward and also rubs people up the wrong way. I have to tolerate them both in a professional capacity. I'm naturally friendly so find it hard to be too chilly even though they both get on my wick.

Anyway, colleague getting married soon. Has been banging on and on about it for years. Only two people from work invited. Not me, which I'm totally fine with. Today it was suggested by the bride to her friend (who is invited) across the desks that I'd help the friend organise a work hen do for her. I totally ignored the conversation and left the room. (This will not be recognised as a hint)

The thing us, I know nobody will want to go, I don't particularly want to go either - I'm busy and I want no part in organising a hen do for a wedding I'm not even going to but I don't want to be cruel either - Aibu in saying no?

Say 'God No! I am the very worst person to ask about that sort of thing - I DETEST hen dos, NYE, anything like that. I probably won't even want to go to it, never mind organise it! It should be definitely one of you two, you are her good friends and much more fun than me. I'll be at home watching Corrie but I hope you have a nice time.'

Make sure you've invented plans for the hen night date!

All sounds awful.
This thread is funny.

Ah, go on then, Bogey, you've twisted my arm, you can have my favourite story

She once shouted down the phone at her husband because she had found out from the childminder that morning that when he had picked up their 18 month old the previous afternoon, he hadn't put a coat on said child Was it sub-Arctic temperatures or gale force winds? No. It was a pleasantly mild October afternoon and they were going home in the car

Lots of good suggestions but it's like dealing with a human steam roller. In all my years of office working I have never come across anyone else like this. I've had the miserable experience of interviewing people with her before now. She even drones on and on about herself in their interviews. I once challenged her about it and she said it was a tactic, she was putting them at ease.

She is great for team building, in that she provides a common point of loathing and ridicule for everyone else. She just can't see that. And none of us are quite mean enough to spell it out (although tbh after years of sitting by her, there have been days where I've come close)

I could probably fill a thread on her crazy office behaviour. But nobody would believe me.

I agree that however lovely it is to fantasise about putting her in her place, in the real world "oh sorry no, really not my kind of thing" is a perfectly worded get-out clause.

I don't think that a few pre-wedding drinks with your workmates down the pub is unreasonable - I have lots of friends at work who I enjoy having a drink with but would not invite to my wedding. But that wouldn't be a full on hen night, and at least the first round would be on me.

Please tell us

Will you help organise my hen do?

No

Why not?

Not my thing.

What do you mean?

I don't do hens.

Why?

Bad experience.

What?

I'm not allowed to say. There's a court order and I'm still paying off the fine

I would say no. Maybe say you don't like organising stuff.

I like the mariachi band suggestion. OP, are you serious in thinking that Bridezilla wants you to co-organise the hen because she knows she's unpopular and thinks your friends (work friends?) will come if you ask them, but not unless? (Is there also a non-work 'general' hen?) I mean, why on earth would you want a work hen you know no one will attend unless coerced?

Don't say you're not doing it because you're not invited - she might invite you!!! The horror. I agree just say NO and laugh in a horrified way.

I could probably fill a thread on her crazy office behaviour. But nobody would believe me. grin

Carly, please start a new thread with this, I need amusement and they are my fave type of threads!

When asked, just say "GOD NO, my idea of hell organising that, sorry, no can do... good luck with it"

I love SpaceDino's suggestion, but I'd say the bride is still paying off the fine!

Yes, please please please start a thread about her crazy office behaviour.

It's a bit cold and I want something to make me laugh and warm my cockles.

Or you could just hint that after the last hen you went on/organised, the wedding didn't actually happen [raised eyebrow, please-don't-ask-me face] and you'd never go on another.

I think a simple 'no' should suffice. How many times can she ask?

Just say "no thanks, I'm trying to shed jobs, not gain them"

I used this last week when someone tried to talk me into joining a committee - worked a treat

I don't get why people need someone to organise their hen do.
It shows they are just getting out of hand.

I managed to organise my own: made a few phone calls - job done. People are too busy for this crap.

I may name change and do you an office behaviour special. This will include the office related phobias which mean others are asked to handle certain types of very ordinary office stationery for her because she can't. Also the unfortunate incident involving an exotic pet and a house fire. That's just for starters.

I'm using Sheffield's suggestion up thread. Going to practise my poker face. Hopefully this conversation will happen on Monday so it's over with!

I'd bloody love a mariachi band though

Just say no, strange woman asking you to organise a hen do for a wedding your not invited to.

Ooo, please do a crazy office behaviour thread, I have lots more stories

Yes, do start a new thread!