To expect SOME special treatment from Dp because I'm pregnant?

[Peppatina]

I'm torn between wondering if I'm some special snowflake entitled princess or thinking my partner a useless tit.

I'm 32 weeks pregnant.

Back story: This will (fingers crossed) be our second baby. We have had numerous miscarriages (the number would out me I'm sure) varying between early to much later.

I basically have an abnormality that makes carrying to term difficult, our first child was quite premature.

I've been told to take it easy, no exercise (bar gentle walking/swimming).

What's been bothering me is do seems to be in competition with me?

Any ache or pain I have he either gleefully tells me now I know how he feels (he's a bit older than me but hardly in the knackers yard yet) or ignores what I've just said and starts describing HIS aches and pains.

If I'm ill he just moans about how he's sure he'll catch it next. And God forbid he does, it's a dying fly act for weeks!

If I ask him to help me by hoovering he huffs and puffs and moans.

I asked him to help me by changing our daughter in to her pjs one night (after I'd bathed and sorted her) and the cheeky bugger said he thought I was putting on him 'just' because I'm pregnant!

It's almost like he can't bear to give me any special treatment because he feels he should be getting it.

In the past if I've mentioned about how down I was about the miscarriages he just says 'well I went through it too!' Like I was implying he didn't because I wanted to talk about MY feelings. I know he went through it too, but not physically through the operations, hemorrages (sp?) etc.

On the other hand he does clean up, does the washing and won't let me lift anything heavy.

Is this just hormonal unreasonableness on my part?

YANBU

But maybe he's feeling left out and being childish to get your attention?
I had HG and my DH found it hard too. He was anxious and depressed during my pregnancy (I spent most of it vomiting and crying) but he rallied round once the baby was born.
Can you make an extra effort to make a fuss of him and ask him how he's feeling too? I know you've got it far worse but he might be buckling under the stress and need some help.

DH can be a bit like this. Not while I was pregnant though.

It comes, in his case, from having a narcissistic father. A combination of his DF making everything about him and DH only getting attention when he was ill. It is a cry for attention in his case.

Most of the time I acknowledge he needs something and am kinder. When it's out of order, I tell him so. It has also become a running joke in this family. If I have a symptom, so does he. I just wryly smile now and he will say, "I know, I know".

Thank you all you've given me a lot to think about!

The health diary is an hilarious idea but not sure I could pull it off.

Actually to the suggestion that I could make a joke/ take the piss a bit is more me I think. Dp is very serious so not sure how he'd react but it's worth a shot.

MrsTerry I've suspected something along those lines....

It's just difficult to feel very 'kindly' at the minute but hopefully when the anxiety dies down (ha in 18 years!) and I can relax and think clearly about it all it is a possibility.