Shoes off house rule

[BettyBi0]

So we have a shoes off rule in our house. Mainly because of the grubby London streets and dog poo everywhere locally plus a floor licking toddler.

Every time my parents visit I have to ask them to take their shoes off. EVERY Fing TIME! They act like its such a massive imposition.

AIBU or would you just shut up and put up?

[InYearAdmissions]

My parents are the same and it drives me CRAZY my dad walks upstairs in his muddy horrible trainers and it makes my skin crawl. I specifically reminded them again after I had the carpets cleaned but they still don't listen....you have my sympathy OP.

[temporaryusername]

I find it really painful and difficult to stand or walk without footwear due to medical issues, and the effects can last days afterwards. I even wear crocs to shower. At home I have indoor footwear that I don't wear outside really.

I dread being asked to remove shoes because of the pain issue, but I don't think YABU to expect people to do so if they have warning and can bring some indoor footwear with them or keep some at your house. I wouldn't mind but I need to know as I can't always have indoor shoes with me. I always take them if I visit someone overnight.

So yanbu but the issue requires tact and a consideration that for some people footwear is necessary indoors.

[Peregrane]

Why does "I would feel like an idiot/short and dumpy/whatever without shoes" trump "I don't want my toddler licking up the dog shit you have just brought into my house"?

Are people seriously objecting to the assumption that they might be capable of locating a pair of socks without holes in advance of visiting other people's homes?

Obviously if someone has a disability that is another matter, but that applies to a tiny minority.

As others have mentioned upthread, there are perfectly functionable workarounds for issues like cold feet or toe fungus. I would have thought most people don't want to have other people's bare feet on their floor or sofa any more than their filthy shoes. Take an extra pair of socks or your own slippers with you when you know you are visiting others and don't want to accept their guest slippers. A pair of slipper socks won't take that much space in a handbag...

[Peregrane]

temporary that sounds very reasonable and you make a good point. I try to warn guests in advance that we are a no shoes household in case they want to bring their own slippers/indoor footwear.

[daftbesom]

We don't wear shoes in the house. I mention to people who are new to the house but I don't "ask" them as such - their choice and most of them take them off.

I keep a pair of slippers here for my mother at her request. She has a "no shoes in the house" preference at her own home also.

I don't ask the meter-reader/ doctor/ people visiting the house as part of their work to take them off. I wouldn't ask elderly relatives either. All quite rare in any case.

When I go visiting I take my own slippers or big socks - unless it's a formal party where everyone will be wearing shoes. I wouldn't wear guest slippers - wd feel a bit eww about them.

[Natsku]

YANBU, wearing shoes indoors is so weird and dirty, you'd have no chance going into someone's house wearing shoes here! Polite custom is to have guest slippers for people to put on so their feet don't get cold (although houses aren't kept cold here, we have good insulation and cheaper heating)

Get some guest slippers and offer them to your parents.

[TheDowagerCuntess]

We're a shoes off house, and I always take my shoes off when going to someone else's house in case they're precious but I would never dream of asking, or expecting, someone to take their shoes off at our place.

Prioritising floors over guest comfort/welcome is just bizarre.

[hedgehogsdontbite]

To me slippers round the house during the day is only one step removed from doing the school run in your pjs.

[Greyponcho]

Not to offer to remove your shoes in someone else's home is just plain rude and lazy if you don't have a valid reason for not doing so.
I have a load of clean slipper socks I lend to visitors, when they're done the socks go in the wash.
Life is to frigging short to constantly clean floors!!
OH used to complain "oh but they're clean shoes!", so after offering to serve his dinner on them, he started using slippers instead.

[Sparklingbrook]

Just the job...

[NotCitrus]

Taking shoes off without a chair to do so is tricky for many people, and I'd guess for a lot of people who are grandparents! So expecting them to take shoes off is implying that you think their standards of hygiene aren't good enough as well as being physically awkward.

Most people I know get small children to take shoes off (because they are likely to jump on sofas and beds), but would never dream of asking it of guests old enough to know better, even if otherwise no-one would have shoes on in their houses - it's being hospitable! Of course most guests who notice it's a shoes-off household offer to take them off anyway, so generally it's only people who will find it difficult who leave them on.

[TheCaptainsCat]

I can't believe someone described asking guests to take off shoes as a massive imposition! I always take my shoes of at people's houses and expect the same. It's politeness surely. Also I live in a townhouse so the main living space is upstairs, and wearing shoes upstairs seems even more wrong somehow. Also, our family is of a culture where shoes indoors is a big no no.

[Topseyt]

I never go to people's houses to inspect how pristine their floors are.

[OnlyLovers]

Piper
most people go from home to car to your home
In my world most people come via tube/train/bus/foot, so it's not quite the same.

I would so take that as a thinly veiled PA attempt to make me take my shoes off

I know it does come across that way. I honestly don't mean to be PA though.

[Natsku]

If I have a dinner party the guests would know they need to take their shoes off so they'd bring slippers if they don't want to be barefoot or in socks.

Electrician, plumber etc. are not asked to take their shoes off but other official guests always do (for instance our social workers always take their shoes off). Never have to ask tbh, everyone does it everywhere here. We have to take our shoes off when we go to the child health clinic too or the midwife.

[expatinscotland]

'No really, no one wants to wear guest slippers.'

I'd rather go barefoot than wear 'guest slippers'. FFS. And it would only be the once, because I wouldn't go back.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Some companies specify that their delivery men won't take their shoes off - I assume this because they are required to wear safety footwear for health and safety / insurance reasons. I assume the same would be the case for workmen.

I wouldn't expect any official visitor to take their shoes off.

We do have underfloor heating in the tiled areas like the kitchen so I would switch that on for guests too. Its better with shoes off .

[RedOnHerHedd]

We're a shoes off household too. Shoes off at the front door and then they're put in the shoe cupboard under the stairs. I don't mind if people prefer to wear their shoes, but I would prefer it if they took them off.

I always remove my shoes on entering someone's house, except if their house is dirtier than the outside.

WRT doctors, police etc, their shoes are part of their PPE, and they are required to keep them on.

[Sparklingbrook]

On the past few weeks I have had the IT repairman round and also the burglar alarm engineer. Both took their shoes off and I didn't even ask.

[expatinscotland]

'If I have a dinner party the guests would know they need to take their shoes off so they'd bring slippers if they don't want to be barefoot or in socks.'

Or decline the invitation. It's nice to give advance warning so people can decline. I'd feel really uncomfortable at a dinner party wearing slippers or socks because I dress up for dinner parties in general.

[YoungGirlGrowingOld]

Outdoor shoes in the house makes me feel ill! We never allow anyone in wearing shoes but I do have a big basket of fluffy ballet style slippers from the pound shop right next to the door and I let people take them home!! (We have some crazy Persian carpets donated by my in laws so I blame them!)

The only person I ever got into a Mexican stand off with over shoe removal was one of the removers - turned out he had a foot odour problem. I thanked him profusely for taking them off while trying not to gag

[FoxFeatures]

I loathe shoes off houses. If I go to someone's house for dinner or a party my shoes are part of what makes me feel confident as I am very small and petit.

I haven't ever walked mud into someone's house - I live in the country and don't wander about in high heels in the woods. I leave my house, walk on the gravel drive and into a car.

In my house I have stone and wood floors. They are washed every day - so much cleaner than carpets - because of DDog. I would never expect anyone to take off shoes when visiting. I wear Uggs as slippers when at home, but heels if we have visitors.

[singingsoprano]

We have no carpet on our house (due to allergies) and insist that people keep their shoes on, so they don't feel uncomfortable/freeze. Floors can always be mopped and hovered.