Who is BU- me or neighbour?

[SmashingBumpkins]

We get on well with our neighbours. We're not 'friends' as such but will always stop for a chat etc.

Yesterday I saw the woman at the corner shop and we walked home together having a chat.
On the way, she mentioned that I woke them up that morning with my hairdryer and, subtly, asked if I could not use the hairdryer early in the AM. With the way she asked she wasn't really asking for a response or even a conversation about it, just kind of mentioning it in passing I guess in the hope I'll change my routine IYSWIM. So, I didn't respond there and then.

I got home at told DH. He was really miffed about it and said she was very U and I should have told her to bugger off.

This hairdryer usage doesn't happen every day- 3 or 4 weekdays I shower at the gym so don't use a hairdryer at home. On the weekend, I either don't bother drying it or I'm doing it at about 10am.
So a couple of work days a week I do dry my hair at home and it's about 6am when I'm doing it- I recognise that this is v early for some!

I can't really dry my hair elsewhere in the house as the other 2 bedrooms are occupied by DCs and in the living room is the dog who's terrified of the hairdryer and will bark like a mad thing causing more noise.
DH said I'm mad for even considering sneaking around the house in the morning using the hairdryer somewhere inconvenient for me just to avoid inconveniencing the neighbours.

So, AIBU to be using the hairdryer at 6am a couple of days a week? Or is she BU to mention it?

I should say it's quite a powerful hairdryer and we have quite thin walls (we can hear their phone ringing, for example).

[ElderlyKoreanLady]

The most ridiculous statement by far on this thread is:

get a haircut that doesn't involve such a ridiculous routine at such a stupid hour of the morning, it's really not rocket science.

Drying hair is not ridiculous. What beggars belief is that you think OP should base her hairstyle on her neighbours' preference.

[specialsubject]

dry hair in the kitchen? (obviously not the bathroom, no plug)

some noises you can learn to sleep through, some noises are unavoidable (e.g screaming babies) The intermittent, pitch-changing whine of a hairdryer is neither.

but I agree, discussion is the way forward.

[RockUnit]

Part of living in adjoining houses is hearing other people's noise, if that is something people cannot accept then really a detached house is something you need to look in to.

Many people can't afford a semi or detached house.

Surely part of living in adjoining houses is being considerate towards the neighbours?

[SmashingBumpkins]

Myself and kids get up at 7-7.30am, which is plenty of time to get to school for 9am. I would be upset if I was woken an hour earlier each day - that hour is precious sleep. I wouldn't let my kids run around the house or garden shouting at 6am either, even if it made their life more pleasant, and my life easier as I wasn't having to train them to be quiet and considerate. I don't let them out in the garden in the summer until 9.30am.

It's not every day, usually once or twice or week but some weeks no times.

There's a difference between making my kids life unpleasant by stopping them playing out before 9.30am and using a hairdryer in their bedroom at 6am.

[DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings]

Just do what you need to do in your own home, bloody hell. A hairdryer isn't unreasonable noise, it's not a rave it's a bit of hot air! Surely everyone who has neighbours puts up with kids shouting and playing, doors banging, diy noise, hoovering etc etc and some of us have neighbours on shifts or whatever or live where there's heavy traffic or a noisy pub etc you just find a way to get on with your life. If the only noise she has to worry about is 10 minutes of a hairdryer she should be thanking her lucky stars she hasn't got some of the neighbours I've read about on here. No council will agree that's unreasonable noise.

[RockUnit]

OP, sorry but I think YABU. It's hard enough to get the right amount of sleep without someone else deciding that 6am is when I should wake up.

[Waltermittythesequel]

You're being a bit selfish about your dog, I have to say.

Are you drying your hair that early because you get up to give the dog a morning run?

Why haven't you trained the bloody thing not to howl?!

[SmashingBumpkins]

specialsubject I won't blow dry my hair in the kitchen because of stray hairs flying everywhere. I know it's clean hair. I know no-one is going to die but I can't bear the thought of it. Same reasoning that DDog isn't allowed in the kitchen.

[Coffeethrowtrampbitch]

I think you should do your hair in the living room and allow the dog to create merry hell for about two weeks.

Then when your neighbour complains about the increase in noise, you explain why, and go back to drying it in your room. Neighbour will not complain again once they understand how noisy you can be.

I am a bit of a bloody minded pita, you may not want to do this if you are a nice person!

[MerryMarigold]

Bumpkin, not aimed at you specifically, but those on their high horses that 6am is an acceptable time to make lots of noise on a regular basis as 'most people' are up (or should be, because they are).

I think if you have tried your best for solution and there isn't one, then speaking to neighbour about it, and carrying on as you are, is ok.

[expatinscotland]

YANBU

[Moltenpink]

How about one of those babyliss big hair things?

[SmashingBumpkins]

Walter The dog is a husky, a very very vocal breed. She's had lots of training, it's very hard to train howling and moaning out of them. She's well behaved.

I'm blow drying hair that early as I'm out of the house for 6:30am. DH takes the dog on her run whilst I have breakfast, prepare everyone's lunch, check emails etc. He gets back about 6:20am and I head out about 10 minutes later.

[Binkybix]

I won't blow dry my hair in the kitchen because of stray hairs flying everywhere. I know it's clean hair. I know no-one is going to die but I can't bear the thought of it. Same reasoning that DDog isn't allowed in the kitchen

Ok, now I think you are being a bit unreasonable!

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

On the rare occasions I use a hairdryer (I usually just slap on loads of product and go off with wet hair) I use a diffuser and have the power turned down meaning it's quieter. A hairdresser told me your're not supposed to use a diffuser on full power. No idea if it's true or not but the diffuser seems to work better like that for me.

I thought the neighbour was BU until I read the bit about not drying your hair in the kitchen but I've changed my mind now!

[LagunaBubbles]

get a haircut that doesn't involve such a ridiculous routine at such a stupid hour of the morning, it's really not rocket science

I think some people just say anything to be oppositional to some posts - using a hairdryer for 10 minutes is not a "ridicolous routine". And its being entitled to dry your own hair in your own house before work now is it?

[Waltermittythesequel]

I have a husky, OP.

He doesn't carry on like that because we don't allow it and he's a very much loved dog.

You're being ridiculous, frankly.

Yes, you're entitled to do what you want in your own home but I don't know why you started the thread when you really don't want to try to make things even slightly better for your neighbours.

You have to live next to these people. You could dry your hair in the kitchen, completely your choice not to of course, but you're knowingly being inconsiderate to people who have done nothing to deserve it.

I really don't understand anyone being that selfish just for the sake of it.

[BarbarianMum]

[Crabbitface]

Pretty appalled at the selfish attitudes of some folk on this thread. Yes people who live close to one another have to accept that there will be some level of noise, but that dos not mean that everyone can do whatever they like and to hell with everyone else. Op has been offered numerous solutions/suggestions and instead of even contemplating trying any of them she is resolutely saying nope to everything suggested. Why did you bother asking?

[LagunaBubbles]

I won't blow dry my hair in the kitchen because of stray hairs flying everywhere

Whilst I still think yanbu generally this is odd, have you got OCD?

[MajesticWhine]

It's quite difficult to train a dog not to be noisy. I have a fairly quiet non-yappy dog but some things she will just always bark at. Ridiculous to say OP is lazy and entitled.

I think YANBU if you don't change your routine at all. But if you want to be a nice neighbour, then I think drying your hair in the kitchen is something to try. Really, if you have a dog then your hygiene levels cannot be so great that you can't tolerate a few stray hairs lying around.

[Eva50]

It wouldn't be unreasonable for the neighbours to put a piano against the adjoining wall and take lessons with lots of daily practice (It may be difficult to put it anywhere else in their house for all sorts of silly reasons). However it would be pretty hard to live with. She has pointed out nicely that your hair drier is causing her problems and for the sake of maintaining a good relationship I would try to accommodate her.

[GreyBird84]

I wash & dry my hair at 630am on the days Im at work. I live in a townhouse & my neighbours stairs are beside our bedroom. I don't know if she hears me but I hear her high heels regularly enough. I would never dream of commenting on that though - part of the parcel.

My hair is so greasy washing it the night before is pointless. Its hormonal & nothing to do with washing it regularly before anyone says that.

Why would you uproot your hairdryer, straighteners etc to a kitchen?! DH one of those mornings manages to sleep through it. Parlux by the way.

YANBU.

[MatildaTheCat]

A powerful hairdryer could easily make as much noise as, say as vacuum cleaner. If the OP was hoovering each morning and her neighbour mentioned it I think she'd be told she WBU. From the neighbour's point of view it doesn't make any difference whether it's a hairdryer, Hoover or music, it's waking her up.

She mentioned it nicely so you should be looking to find a workable solution. There could very possibly be a quieter hairdryer available. Otherwise why can't you disturb your DC rather than the neighbour?

Never fall out with neighbour's if you can help it. They are the ones who will call the police if they see something suspicious, take in a parcel and be generally neighbourly when on good terms. I suspect she really had to screw up the courage to mention this at all, try to find a solution.

[claireemma86]

I can't believe that people are even suggesting you don't dry your hair. Its your home and isn't unreasonable to dry your hair in it. I had an old neighbour tell me that my daughter cried too loudly - I kindly suggested buying a detached house in future.

Carry on doing what you're doing. 6am is a perfectly normal time to get up and ready for work.