to ask you what untraceable items I can send to my annoying boss?

[DrSeuss]

OK, so I'll almost certainly never do it but it cheers me up to dream!
My boss was an Olympic torch bearer. I know because she NEVER mentions it!
My boss has awards on a shelf in her office. I finally got close enough to them to see that they are all ten years plus old!
My boss knows everything. About everything. And everyone else knows nothing.
My boss is a supercilious, actually not that bright knobber who needs sorting.
I like this.
www.ruindays.com/collections/all/products/spring-loaded-glitter-bomb
Like I said, I'll probably never do it but I'd enjoy any suggestions!

[OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias]

I knew someone who had one of these bosses. He made a poster for the office bulletin board advertising stuffed armadillos for sale. It went into very specific detail about exactly how great these stuffed armadillos were and what excellent gifts they would make (I think it was coming up to Christmas). There were big ones that would make great occasional tables, and small ones that could somehow used as lamps. (Somehow.) and on the bottom of the advert, he put Knobber's name and extension number.

Knobber then got dozens of (to him) mystifying phone calls, either asking him what the fuck was up with the poster selling stuffed armadillos, or trying to buy a stuffed armadillo. Those stuffed armadillos haunted him for months. It was the most brilliantly pointless act of revenge I've ever seen.

[grumpysquash3]

I love the trophy idea. You can make them. Twat of the year runner-up 2009, Award for Bullshit, 3rd place, 2011.....that sort of thing. :)

[thisismeusernameything]

I'm seriously considering considering sending my boss a digital watch, abacus and calculator as she clearly can't count to 7 hours and obviously doesn't know how to tell the bloody time as its 10:50pm and the cow is still sending me crap to do.

[PoppieD]

I am now full of fear to go to lunch tomorrow at our NHS canteen- is there a specific portion size of croutons so that I can keep on the right side of the law?!

[Gobbolino6]

I read once about someone who hid pennies where his flatmate would find them. He started by placing one, once a week or so, in spots where it would not be particularly noted. In a drawer, pocket etc. Over time, he upped the frequency and started putting them in more unusual places. In shoes, on the sink, under the milk. Eventually his flatmate was so confused he became furious. I've always fancied trying it.

[RandomMess]

I wish I had someone to seek revenge on after reading all these ideas!

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

I've just googled the crouton man. Loads about him! Here's just one....

www.theguardian.com/society/2004/mar/25/nhsstaff.politics

[WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant]

Can you access her office for a few minutes each day or couple of days without her being there? I assume she has an office...

This is a long term annoyance. Quite a few weeks. Probably months.

Move her desk a couple of mm nearer the wall. (Assuming there is a wall). Literally 1-2mm a week.

Eventually, she won't fit in the gap behind it! But the move has to be really slow, so she doesn't notice!

[WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant]

Or going back to the posting of nice things.

Does she recycle? Office paper?

Then be helpful and give her an envelope or two filled with all the circles from your hole-punch.

[Bogeyface]

Depends on how mean you want to be.

My sister once did an elaborate revenge on her cheating ex boyfriend.

She found out about the cheating, confronted him and he hightailed it back to Germany where he was stationed in the army. She rang him, wrote to him (pre internet days) knowing he would not get back to her. She then left it 2 weeks, wrote another "urgent" letter and he still didnt reply. So then she rang his CO and explained that it really was urgent he get back to her because she had just some really bad results from the clap clinic and her infections (note the plural) could only have come from him.

The CO when ballistic, he got sent off for every invasive test you can imagine and a major bollocking. Of course the tests came back negative, as DSis knew they would, but that didnt stop him being known as Clap Craig for the rest of his Army career :o

A letter to her work, with GUM Dept in large letters on the envelope sent to her at work could be fun!

[WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant]

What about gardening?

A tonne of horse manure for his garden? No, don't worry if the car is still on the drive, we will move the manure before we need to go out.

Some 2nd hand clothes? Random things appearing on her desk? An odd sock, scruffy t shirt... Nothing that you would wear for work.

Another one I read somewhere was about cake. Buy the boss a small cake every day.

[SoThatHappened]

Has anyone done the glitter bombs?

Is it really anonymous?

[SoThatHappened]

www.hateglitterbomb.co.uk/#team

One of the websites does dog shit in a box.

[VimFuego101]

These are brilliant

[sadwidow28]

nocoolnamesleft

I thought your story about soup and croutons was so bizarre that it couldn't have been true. But I stand corrected!

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-300116/Surgeon-suspended-soup.html

No wonder the CEO got packets of soup (with/without croutons) in his mail box.

[fuzzpig]

These are amazing! :o

[Bogeyface]

Thats brilliant Alasalas! But yes, probably would come under "dont do this at home" :o

[MyFavouriteClintonisGeorge]

Do not post anything that could be DNA tested.
Do not cause injury, infection or nervous shock to your boss, or permanent damage to any item.

Other than that, you're good to go.

A prawn inside the curtain pole has to be my best one. So hard to find, so easy to smell.

I think the directly boasting-related pranks are the best suggestions. Mess with those trophies!

[Glastokitty]

A friend of mine got pranked recently by another friend. They put an ad up on a local Facebook Pay it forward page offering a free 50 inch TV with his phone number, he got over 300 calls. He did deserve it though.

[shadowfax07]

Pavers allow you to sign up for their catalogue with no email address

[scarednoob]

Emails.

There is some muppet in the states with a virtually identical email address to me, and I get ALL her shit. E-receipts; stuff from her bank; airline tickets; all the shit from her kids' schools... I used to forward them on to her (I used to reply to her friends to tell them about the error and eventually she got in touch) but now I CBA if she CBA to give her address properly.

I spend a good few seriously annoying minutes most days unsubscribing myself from various sites. But some of them simply do not unsubscribe you. I get about 3 emails a day from "free people", and whatever I do, I cannot get rid of them.

I would love to sign her up for some accidental steaming email turds - UKIP membership; nazi porn, that sort of thing - you can share the fantasy!

[MrsItsNoworNotatAll]

This thread is so funny.

Does anyone know if a letter be traced back to the post box it was put in?