To wish that for two weeks school was just school

[Flatoutnautilus]

Sorry, have to post this as perhaps I'm just being lazy...
Remember when school was just plodding along for a bit and making friends and working on in-school (!) projects, doing a bit of reading and the highlight was a school play?

When did schooling turn into the action packed and exhausting venture that it has now become with such a mind boggling array of themed days and events all of which seem to need parental involvement ?

In the last two weeks my kids (DS5 and DS6) have had spell-a-thon, raising £ for charity with chores, dress up Friday, gym presentation (two separate costumes needed), two school plays, two away matches, two out of school projects needing completion, a grandparents celebration breakfast, homework every night including 'grammar', spelling, maths and a bake sale. It's really the extracurriculars that drive me round the bend.

Perhaps some kids really need this high octane level approach to keep them engaged but I tend to think it must be an adult's view of what is interesting because neither of my two (& they are usually very enthusiastic about most things) can get keyed up about any of it so I spend my time trying to motivate them to participate while slightly sharing their view that it's all a bit unnecessary. Am I being a stick in the mud? Or is this rammed packed school diary of 'extras' just symptomatic of the hyper stimulated environment that we all live in now?

For two weeks a year I would really like to school to clear the decks on the diary front and just teach the kids without all the extras. Maybe even let them play around with the concept of boredom and see what happens...

It's definitely increased recently. Previously these events were clustered around Christmas and the end of the school year. It's all the time now. I'm a sahm with both my dc in school so I'm lucky to have time to deal with it all but it is starting to take up really quite a lot of my time. Can't remember the last time I had a week with no events. I do wonder how working parents manage all of this?

From today we are into Fairtrade Fortnight

Oh fuck - completely forgot about that. There's a letter somewhere about some event around that too

So - who is driving this nonsense? The various Governments (please tell me it is so I can have another lovely rant at our SNP loons ) or the schools themselves??

This has been a really thought provoking read for me.

I'm always thinking of more events, more trips, more shows, more ways I can do different things in different ways. Everything is always about expanding not decreasing and I love it. It makes me feel exhilarated and I enjoy all the 'special things' so much.

I suppose I haven't really considered that I choose to be at school and do the things whereas the children and parents have no choice. I didn't realise that the general consensus is that they aren't wanted.

I don't think any teachers will be doing it out of malice or deliberate intent to cause convenience. Maybe we're just all getting a bit enthusiastic and need reigning in! Which makes me sad tbh, but if that's what most families want it seems like it needs to happen.

Maybe try writing to your schools and setting your case out. If your teachers are anything like me (who know, some of you might be talking about me and my colleagues!) they just haven't thought about it and merrily going 'oooh, what can we do next?'!

I think teachers/schools just need to remember that parents have jobs/lives outside of school manic

Some schools seem to work on the assumption that mum is just sitting at home all day waiting for the school to tell her what costume to produce/art project to do/special assembly to attend.

I have a job. If there's a dress up day my 5yo goes as something already in his dressing up box purchased from Asda! We do reading after school but nothing else - once he gets home from the childminder he needs to relax. I will never attend a bloody assembly at 10am after being given two days notice. I don't want to spend my precious free time crafting a bridge from toilet rolls either.

Yes, it's a good point Jesabel. I will try to take it on board.

To be fair, a lot of what I do isn't compulsory or we don't expect parents to attend. But I suppose just the fact that it's on offer or that some parents are attending means children feel upset or left out if they can't do something or if their parents can't come to something.

Someone brought this up with DS's school recently. My heart went out to them as everything had just got too much and they broke down saying they had to choose between not sending him in on X day because of the £1, but if they did that then their child would be upset as they'd have no chance of winning the 100% attendance prize that they decided to have for some reason. They've sent out a consultation thing to parents and have promised to look into cutting down the events. There's been at least one a week on average since they went back in the summer and it's too much.

The school have enough to try and fit in without all those extras adding the pressure.

I think that would be good for teachers to into consideration that it is that often it's the same parents who can't make it to events. Which means if there is a run of them then it's the same child who feels like they are missing out on something each time. It's easy to ration out 'Mum has to work' when you are an adult, but when you are 5/6/7 and Billy's Mum can come to every event that's not so easy.

OP, I agree completely. My DC attends an ofsted rated 'good' state school, however the palaver over book 'week' is insane.

They had to make a 'story box' (scene from a favourite book made in a shoe box) to take in yesterday, send in a photo of themselves reading in an unusual place for a competition, parents to go in and read with them tomorrow, dress up for world book day Thursday, a reading challenge for the week (1 book per night all this week), Friday there is a 'book swap shop' where they take in an old book and swap for another, as well as the Mother's day stall for the PTFA same day (which requires money). This is on top off their usual 12 spelling per week, three reading books and maths homework.

They are 7 years old FFS, and I work full time so it's drove me round the twist.

When I was 13 and in my first weeks of secondary (abroad hence different age) I once broke down sobbing on my mum one evening, wailing that 'I just wish we could have a normal week'. I was struggling so hard with all the new teachers/rooms/school travel anyway, and the constant stream of 'fun' was really not helping. Some kids need the routine and it's really hard if you're like I was (and, honestly, still am. I do not deal well at all with breaks in routine).

manic - since we've got your ear , can you explain exactly how you think working parents fit all of this making/buying/sourcing into their normal family lives? I'm genuinely curious - when schools send out a few days warning for an event (or even a week, bearing in mind weekends are often committed weeks in advance), what goes through your mind in terms of how parents cope?

I love the way primary schools seem to think you can rustle up a perfect Henry VIII costume out of a potato sack and a ball of string. 'Please don't go to any trouble.'

OP, that really is an awful lot to fit into two weeks - and did you not have half term?

I think schools need to remember that most parents love time (and funds!) to spend with our DC unconnected with school. Some weeks the bulk of our family time and considerable funds are spent on school driven activities.
DS and we are often 'guilted' into things which causes antagonism because we want to do something we enjoy not what the school thinks we should spend our time doing.
I perhaps feel this keenly as I am only off every 2-3 weekends, often having days off when DS is at school

It appears standard now that for example

Topic is Victorians - so on trip one dress up day - bake a Victorian cake - look at Victorian toys -

It's all too much!!

I work in a school and see so many who need extra reading and maths work but love the dressing up etc

Something for everyone or are we letting them down?

Some kids learn better one way or another - some have parents who take them out to museums or holidays or trips - sadly some kids never leave their street -

It's hard finding a balance

For the record - I have 3 kids and I hate the mommy projects!!!

Manic, thank you for being so open and for considering other views. It's not only about the time sourcing and buying and stressing over costumes, baked goods, fundraising projects etc that eats into family time. It's also, for me, very much about education. All this faff creates distracted pupils and takes time away from teaching much needed skills.

Of course, it's lovely once in a while, and I'm sure that the parents of your pupils hugely appreciate your thought and efforts.

Even if you've ample time and funds for this sort of palaver, its worrying that much of the school day/week is being spent on ancillary/pointless 'fun'.

School is only 190 or so days of the year. And 5-6 hour days at that. Is it too much to expect these sort of activities to be limited to 2-3 per term?

Reading/writing/maths can be boring to learn. But its school. Its about learning. I'm all for learning social & practical skills but noone 'needs' to dress up as a Dickens character or glue foil onto cardboard.

Ds's school usually has:
Class assembly once a year - with enough notice so that we can both go.
Christmas play - 3 showings, 2 of which are after 6.30.

Sessions around maths and craft each year, which I end up attending as I work closer than DH.
Thankfully no book day dress up this year.
There will be something else to dress up before the summer, to do with whatever topic they are working on. With not enough notice.

One dress up day, one school trip, one sports day, one charity thing, one school play, one special assembly a year is surely enough? Then they can limit it to one thing per term.

manicinsomiac

Please have mercy on us parents... You may happy being a manic insomniac revelling in creating an ever increasing spiral of activity, but most of us are only human!

I might try writing to the school again, and just ask for 2 weeks of learning, reading, writing and maths. It's strange that those 2 weeks would be a novelty, and then all of the "special" dates and events could resume.

I've just spent the best part of an hour helping DS make Harry Potter out of a potato for world book day. A terrific learning experience for DC3 lie and an hour of my life I will never get back.

Thanks for that, primary school.

Are they at the same school? That seems beyond ridiculous to fit in in 2 weeks?

I can often be heard saying to my colleagues that I'm not a sodding children's entertainer. I try to make things engaging but I am there to impart knowledge not do puppet shows and crap like that.

There is too much going on. Kids are over stimulated. They need to learn that, in the real world, every day isn't a party.