Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want more benefits?

275 replies

CheeseAndSprinkles · 29/02/2016 14:03

I care for 2 of my children but I'm only able to claim one amount of carers allowance. I save the country a lot of money by caring for my children, I wouldn't have it any other way, but the extra money would be extremely helpful. It's a pittance anyway. So am I BU?

OP posts:
Samcro · 02/03/2016 23:23

the truth is scameron thinks its easy. he did it with paid staff... so he thinks he knows how it is.
whilst he will always have my sympathy. wtf. he shuts down debate. and targets people/children just like his son... terrible

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 02/03/2016 23:28

and targets people/children just like his son... terrible

This is what I just can't get my head around. He clearly has no empathy for others underneath the faux 'call me dave' exterior. He is quite dangerous. Maybe that's dramatic but its how I feel.

Samcro · 02/03/2016 23:30

nit dramatic at all
how does he look at the parents he know in the eye?

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 02/03/2016 23:32

daffy That sounds very soul destroying. I can't imagine how you must feel. I think stopping the money when your husband is in hospital is bizarre. As a carer you need to visit, liase with doctors, arrange transport and of course still pay bills.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 02/03/2016 23:37

how does he look at the parents he know in the eye?

That's why use the word danger, he must meet people in dire straits and still be able to make these decisions. I couldn't believe the cut in tax for the rich and cut in benefits for the vulnerable could be done with such ease.

Samcro · 02/03/2016 23:44

that is why hate him and his mrs.
not political ......but how could they??

Voldetort · 03/03/2016 06:39

There will always be people who think that we get loads of money for looking after children who aren't much more difficult to look after than children who don't get dla

Oh yes. Back when we had contact with MIL I remember her making a snide remark about a family member getting DLA for her child, it was along the lines of so and so has won the lottery and implications that she was laying it on just to get the money.

Then there are the people who don't think certain conditions exist. There are members of DHs family who think DS could be 'cured' with a good hiding and it's all down to a lack of discipline. I've encountered people who should know better saying things like "we never had autism/adhd back in my day, if you were naughty you got smacked". FIL shared a meme on FB about how children with ADHD don't need medication, they only need attention - the only way I could give DS more attention than be currently gets would be to insert another ten hours into the day.

I used to work for tax credits and one day a woman phoned up to complain because her friend was receiving more money than her. On and on she went while I kept explaining that I couldn't discuss another person's claim, that there are different elements that make up an award and some people qualify for more elements than others, that income is taken into account and so on. Then she mentioned a disabled child. I said that was possibly why her friends payment was higher if she had a disabled child. Her response? "But that's not fair! Why should she get more and I don't!? It's not my fault that my child wasn't born disabled!"

elliejjtiny · 03/03/2016 11:39

Yes Voldetort. If I ever moan about the appointments, operations etc to MIL I get a lot of "well, you're doing very well from it all aren't you?" Like it was some kind of business plan to have children with disabilities and then rake in the cash. And yes we get the it's not fair about tax credits too. Our award is high. But we have 5 dc, 2 of them get MRC DLA and DH had to take a massive pay cut because his old job was putting him on a disciplinary for taking unpaid leave when DS4 was having operations.

AndNowItsSeven · 03/03/2016 17:41

dawn unless you are having money deducted from IS you do get two lots of carers allowance if both parents are carers for two children.

AndNowItsSeven · 03/03/2016 17:47

SharpEdges you would be better claiming IS as a carer than a ESA for your own disability. You will receive the same money due to IS premiums and you won't need to do and work related activity.

AndNowItsSeven · 03/03/2016 17:48

In Scotland carers allowance is going up to the same rate as JSA.

sharpedges · 03/03/2016 17:51

Yes I do get IS as a carer AndNowItsSeven but they make carers come in every month now. It used to be once a year when I first went on IS but they are being very insistent now about carers looking for work.

BishopBrennansArse · 03/03/2016 18:22

Sharp you might want to get advice on that. You're being misinformed. We get three yearly reviews.

Dawndonnaagain · 03/03/2016 18:27

dawn unless you are having money deducted from IS you do get two lots of carers allowance if both parents are carers for two children.
We don't get IS. Still don't get £62.10 each though. They're coming round tomorrow, I'll ask.

AndNowItsSeven · 03/03/2016 18:28

Yes sharp Bishop is correct they are lying to you. You can't refuse to go I to the job centre " for a chat about your future work plans" you can say you can't go very often due to caring responsibilities. You can also refuse anything other than the " chat" . I am a carer I was only ever asked in once I told them I would have to bring my autistic dd who would most likely have a meltdown in the job centre. They rang me back an hour later and I had a telephone " chat" instead, never heard from them since.

NatalieMc82 · 03/03/2016 19:15

sharpedges I would speak to your local welfare rights department or c.a.b, because I am 99% certain that what they are doing in terms of wrac is wrong if you are on income support and carers allowance. I know that could be difficult to do around your caring responsibilities (obviously I don't know your full situation) but some agencies can advise over the phone or come to you if you can't get to them. Hope you get it sorted.

Daffyduck1 · 04/03/2016 10:36

Ellie. I get you totally regarding the business plan comments. It was pointed out to me quite jealously by family that after DH dies, I'll get x amount of benefits for doing nothing whilst other family members work hard for their money and get nothing. Commented that I'll need to stop buying sensory toys/appropriate clothes for DS as it's wrong to be heavily reliant on benefits. Well I'd bloody swap in a heartbeat. You be dead. You turn your healthy child into a disabled child who needs watching over like a hawk whenever awake. Money means nothing in these situations.

Daffyduck1 · 04/03/2016 10:41

But hey I must remember thst I'm so so lucky that the life insurance is about to pay off our mortgage when other family members are working hard to pay theirs. Christ, I'd live in a hostel if it meant I could grow old with DH and he could see our children grow up.

CatThiefKeith · 04/03/2016 10:51

I'm amazed you don't get two lots of allowance tbh. Parents of disabled children get such a rough deal from the Government, and often the general public.

Considering how much residential care costs, you'd think people in general, and indeed the Government, would have more praise for parents who love their children so much that they give up work and spend the rest of their lives caring for those children for an absolute pittance, only to face the scorn of said Government and Daily Fail readers.

Flowers for you op, and all the other parents out there caring for their children. (And all the carers of adults too)

CheeseAndSprinkleys · 04/03/2016 14:49

I can't believe the support this thread has got, after the first biscuit I thought that's how it would go in all honesty. We should send this to Dave.

elliejjtiny · 05/03/2016 00:34

I know, it's been lovely. I think it might be the first benefits related aibu that didn't turn into a bun fight.

CheeseAndSprinkleys · 05/03/2016 06:18

Haha ellie you're right! Grin

2old2beamumandpastit · 05/03/2016 12:02

Going back on the point CatThiefKeith made regarding residential care our DS was in a childrens' home 12 years ago and it was £5000/week!!! Perhaps we should threaten to stop caring for our DCs.

Also I agree this is a lovely thread so thank you to you all Flowers and Wine it is Saturday not that it makes any difference to us overpaid carers!

CatThiefKeith · 05/03/2016 14:55

2old2be Unfortunately there is a flaw in your plan. Very few parents (whether their children are disabled or not) would actually be able to hand thier child over to LA care unless in the most desperate of circumstances, and the government would know it was an empty threat. Sad

I don't know what the answer is, but I know it isn't to make the life of a carer even harder than it already is. Sad

2old2beamumandpastit · 05/03/2016 15:34

CatThiefKeith you are right of course I couldn't, but I am so angry. Sadly there is no answer. Right am off to sort out DD colostomy Hmm

New posts on this thread. Refresh page