To not understand how couples who work can afford a second child??

[TheAngelofNitshillRoad]

Without waiting until the first child is in school, anyway!!

DD is 13 months. I work part time (3 days per week) - we pay approx £600 per month on nursery fees.

I worked full time before I went on mat leave. Only got statutory maternity pay after the first six weeks. I took 9 months off and by the end of it we were completely skint. We're building back up now but it's hard because the nursery fees are high and obviously I've had a significant salary reduction. We've stripped back our outgoings as much as we can, so we cover our outgoings and have a little bit of disposable income each month, but it's hard to save.

We had always considered starting to try for another baby towards the end of this year. I didn't want too big an age gap between DD1 and DC2 and I'll be honest, I'm really beginning to feel that broody feeling. But I just can't see how we can do this.

It seems to me that while I'm on mat leave, we will need to pay the nursery to keep DD1's nursery place open (although I don't think I would put her in for three full days each week, I wouldn't want her to feel pushed out at home with new baby). If I go back down to statutory maternity pay, we physically will not have the cash available to pay these nursery fees. So we have no option but to out DC2 off for....ages really! I've been trying to save where I can, transfer the odd twenty quid to my ISA but it's a slow, slow process.

Am I missing something?? Are we approaching this the wrong way?? How do people afford this??

[skankingpiglet]

We'll have a 25mo gap when DC2 is born this summer. We've gone for a smaller gap as DH is no spring chicken, and I don't want to work ft whilst the children are very small but equally don't want to put my career on hold any longer than necessary. We are able to fund it by DH having a fairly well-paid job (mostly this), not over-stretching ourselves on the mortgage when we took it out, reducing DD's childcare a bit initially until I am back from mat leave, savings, and having saved all of DD's baby stuff so very little outlay on the new arrival. We'll have 5 months of double childcare costs until DD's 15hrs kick in, which will still leave us slightly better off than me not working at all, but not by a huge amount. Once we have the free hours things will ease a bit, then the following September DD will start reception and we may even be able to afford a holiday which doesn't involve sleeping on an airbed!

[ExConstance]

I went back to work when each of my sons was 8 weeks old, worked evenings and weekends on top of my full time day hours and had a nanny.

[TheAngelofNitshillRoad]

I know, I want to emphasise that the only reason I would be keeping her place open is because she loves it and she's settled there. there's a big waiting list (really fab nursery) and I am pretty sure she would lose her place if we took her out.

I certainly don't foresee that I would put her into nursery three full days a week, every week, while I'm at home (I do recognise it is a massive luxury, however). As I said in my OP, I would be worried she felt that she was being pushed out when I'm at home all day with new baby.

[LilacAndLovely]

How big is the waiting list? A few months/a year? Could you withdraw her as soon as you start maternity leave and put her (and baby's) names straight back on the waiting list? That gives a year for them to work their way to the top...

[OublietteBravo]

19 month age gap. We were very poor for a while (both in FT nursery). Practically the full value of my take-home salary was spent on fees. It was worth it in the long run - I've had several promotions and these days we are quite well off (DC are now 10 & 11).

[LBOCS2]

If you're prepared to wait, you could hold your DC1's nursery place open by just using your 15 free hours with them - so only sending them in one or two days a week. Our nursery charges an extortionate 'top up' to the free hours (for the food and extra 3 hours, of course - wouldn't want to break the rules ) so we're sending DD two days a week, the cost of which is covered by the 15 hrs plus the childcare vouchers.

[Gotosleep123]

Just off back to work with 23 month gap between dc. Full time childcare for both wipes out a wage but I hope it will pay staying in work eventually. Part time not an option and our work is not stable enough to risk only having one earner.
Childcare vouchers paid for dc to go to nursery one day a week which was a lifesaver. We tried taking her out completely but she was bored so it gave her stimulation and it gave me a break and a chance to spend time with the baby

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es]

We only realised about the GCSE and A level at the same time thing about two years ago (DCs 8 and 10 by then), fortunately pretty well everyone else we know who had a baby when we did also went for the two year gap so we will be able to drown our sorrows collectively!

[LilacAndLovely]

Only now I've realised about the GCSE/A Level.

DC are 8 and nearly 6, 2 school years apart so this will be us...bet that's a fun few months!

[minipie]

Leaving the finances aside: if you have a place for her three days a week and you have a newborn you would be mad not to use it! She won't feel pushed out by continuing her normal routine (especiallu if she loves it there), and you will want the time with just DC2.

Financially, it sounds from your last post like she would be 3 by the time you had dc2, so perhaps you could cover the 3 days with the 15 free hours plus vouchers as a previous poster suggests?

Once you go back to work you may find it cheaper to use a nanny (esp if you can offer live in) or a childminder as many give sibling discounts. Note that CMs take vouchers and nannies do too if Ofsted registered.

[minipie]

Au pairs are NOT suitable for under 3s. (Unless they have nanny level experience in which case you ought to be paying them a nanny wage anyway).

[SauvignonPlonker]

4 year age gap here! Pulled DS out of childminder & put him into school nursery during my mat leave so I could use his 15hours free childcare.

Had a 5 month overlap when both at nursery before he started school - it was a killer.
It is better now he's at school. Can't wait for DD's 15 hour funding.,

[Atthebottomofthegarden]

We have one DC. Go figure.

I know several people who went back to work after DC1 was born and became SAHM after DC2. Especially if they commute which makes the logistics horrific too.

Usually the day rate at nursery goes down a little at age 2 because of ratios, and then you get the free hours at 3 which brings it down further.

[MLGs]

5 year age gap here.

[BackforGood]

You could save by taking less than 9 months off, if it's important to you to have them close in age.

[SchnitzelVonKrumm]

Nanny. Vastly cheaper than two in nursery (and nicer for children IMO).

[DingbatsFur]

We found a childminder who took DS1 for 12 hours a week while I was on maternity with the chance that she's then take them both when I went back to work. Then I did a 3 day week so they were only in childcare 3 days a week. She was cheaper than nursery and less willing to throw them out for every little rash.

[emsyj]

I had DD2 when DD1 was 2 and 9 months, so I was on mat leave when DD1 started pre-school (free 15 hours). We also have free childcare one day a week from MIL. Our childcare costs are therefore not too bad. I earn a reasonable salary and so does DH so it's been fine but I would choose to work even if it meant earning nothing at all provided I had a job that I enjoyed. It must make it hard to get back into the workplace later if you have a long break from it. I also enjoy going to work and being able to have a bit of peace. Remember childcare costs don't last for ever.

[Twistedheartache]

3.5yr age gap here - chose to keep DD1 in nursery because it seemed crazy to take her out of ft nursery when she'd been there since 11 months just before she started school, just shortened her hours a bit.
Honestly so glad! She had continuity & attention in an environment she adored and I had 1:1 time with baby. She was old enough to understand that baby would go to nursery in the future etc & Def didn't feel pushed out. If anything it's worse now Dd2 is 16 months & a danger to herself & society than as a tiny baby.
Yes to childcare vouchers still getting given on top of stat maternity pay but I got screwed a bit (sadly legitimately) because my employer paid me holiday pay monthly so the voucher amount was deducted from that so be careful!
Will DD1 get 30hrs free when that come in?

[RedRainRocks]

I worked for nothing essentially, my childcare was a little bit more than my salary and travel costs each month. It's not even that easy when you have one in school and one in nursery if you both work full time... Two school years apart and last year my costs were in the region of £1800 a month for nursery and pre/after school. They come down considerably when both are at school (now, thankfully) but then there are the summer holidays... I have four, but with a large gap between first two and second two. The free 15hours really makes a difference this time around

[MattDillonsPants]

I just didn't work at all. DH did and we had tax credits. We were very poor but my earning capacity at that time wouldn't have even paid the fees.

[Onthedowns]

I will have 4 year age gap and work 3 days a week not sure of position when I go back to work as I will have the after school and before school and holiday issues, as well as childcare for 10 month d. I don't think it's eliminated the cost problem completely holiday clubs etc are high

[MrsMargoLeadbetter]

The free childcare goes up in 2017 to 30 hrs if she is still in childcare & not school by then. Info here.

I understand your concern about the nursery place. We are in London and every nursery around here has a long waiting list.

I would forget trying to save etc during these years. It is about surving.

By continuing to work you will hopefully be able to earn more in the future.

Are you paid appropriately for your role? It is easy to stay in a job for the pt hours.... and some employers bank on that but a higher salary for you or DH would obviously help.

[BikeRunSki]

We have a 3 yr 1month age gap. DC1 was in nursery 3 full days a week before DC2 was born. We could afford to keep him in nursery on the same hours when I was on mat leave with dc2, because his 15 hrs funding kicked in just as my period of full salary finished. Combined with childcare vouchers, this covered the cost of nursery 3 days a week. CCV were paid by my employer throughout my me eternity leave on full salary, SMP and nil pay. I did not have CCV when I started my job, and they are not mentioned in my contract. The only stipulation was that I spent them within 3 months, but I was spending them monthly as I received them anyway.