Bowling at a wedding

[BlueRaptor]

DP and I went to our wedding venue today to go and have another look around, and meet with the wedding planner etc.

Our venue is lovely, but a bit unusual in that upstairs they have a small five lane bowling alley. I thought it'd be a bit fun and quirky to get some photos up there on the day and asked if it was possible. They said yes and we can have it to take some silly shoots.

DP thinks it's a fantastic idea, and also wants to let all the guests know it's up there in case they'd like to have a game in the evening! I think that's absolutely ridiculous and I don't want all our guests disappearing to a bowling alley, they can do that any time! My feeling is that we've paid a small fortune for a wedding that our friends and family are all invited to, I'd be really quite offended and upset if they would have preferred to go bowling! I think we should keep quiet about it, it's not something well advertised and we only found out as the wedding coordinator told us. As much as I like a few quick pictures, that's the most I want a bowling alley to be involved!

So, who is being U here? Should we keep quiet or let guests know it's there?

[Starface]

I can actually see the point of those who say bowling takes a while, longer than the stuff I had or OP already has planned. If you can't dip in, dip out, it's potentially more disruptive. If you have spaces in the day where people might use it that makes sense, but not if its already packed. 150 is a fair few people though, big enough to lose 10 or so at a time without major impact. Depends partly how big the bowling alley is.

But I think I'd either take photos and have bowling or leave photos and leave bowling. As a guest looking at photos later, if there were bowling photos but no bowling I'd be "where was the bowling?". It seems a bit strange to make a deal of it in the photos but not let people use it. The photographer may be thinking "I can take some cool photos here that are a bit different" (shooting weddings can get very samey and you'd look to create individual, different pics). But I guess photos can be unconnected to events. I guess your view may depend on your sense of the function of the photos for you - a record of events and a few nice couples pics/family shots, or how far you want to go down the photo shoot route. Again all of that is personal preference though, no value judgements here. Some of the photo shoot type pics you see are incredible, but weren't for me.

How am I doing at being unhelpful and fence sitting? I'm getting more invested in the dilemma the more I think about it!
Sorry OP.

Ps Thanks Nina.

[Spring2016]

No, not for a wedding of the style you have already planned. But you now know what type of birthday party to plan for your finacé.

[CornishDoll82]

God I hate bowling. It's so dull and some people get so into it. You're enjoying a drink and being shouted at to have your go. My heart would sink at this at a wedding.

[grannytomine]

OP I don't think either of you are being unreasonable, people can have different ideas without being unreasonable. Can you compromise? Maybe have it open for an hour or two, depending on timings there can often be a bit of a lull in weddings and it might be fun. Obviously I have no idea of timings so it might not work. I am sure it will be the first of many compromises you are going to make over the years, the basis of a good marriage in my experience. I hope it works well whatever you decide and good luck for the big day.

[EponasWildDaughter]

I doubt you'll be able to keep it a secret that there's a bowling alley up there anyway. They make a racket!

I would worry about making a gender/age split in the middle of the wedding.

[PhoenixRises]

We had bowling at a family wedding. The venue was about the same size and it was brilliant.
The venue closed off three lanes for us (iirc!) and people went up and down as they chose.
Some fabulous memories that night of the bridge and groom having a team grudge match in full wedding gear - and the photos to match.

[Grapejuicerocks]

If its open to the public you may lose some anyway.

I'd forget the photo's but keep the private hour- maybe extend it to two, whilst the normal photos and general lull before the meal takes place. Have a few fun photo's taken with guests using it if you want. But make it clear that for the meal and after, it's not part of the wedding. Perhaps put "bowling available between such and such times", on the wedding invite.