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AIBU?

Bowling at a wedding

57 replies

BlueRaptor · 28/02/2016 20:37

DP and I went to our wedding venue today to go and have another look around, and meet with the wedding planner etc.

Our venue is lovely, but a bit unusual in that upstairs they have a small five lane bowling alley. I thought it'd be a bit fun and quirky to get some photos up there on the day and asked if it was possible. They said yes and we can have it to take some silly shoots.

DP thinks it's a fantastic idea, and also wants to let all the guests know it's up there in case they'd like to have a game in the evening! I think that's absolutely ridiculous and I don't want all our guests disappearing to a bowling alley, they can do that any time! My feeling is that we've paid a small fortune for a wedding that our friends and family are all invited to, I'd be really quite offended and upset if they would have preferred to go bowling! I think we should keep quiet about it, it's not something well advertised and we only found out as the wedding coordinator told us. As much as I like a few quick pictures, that's the most I want a bowling alley to be involved!

So, who is being U here? Should we keep quiet or let guests know it's there?

OP posts:

Report

Grapejuicerocks · 29/02/2016 12:10

If its open to the public you may lose some anyway.

I'd forget the photo's but keep the private hour- maybe extend it to two, whilst the normal photos and general lull before the meal takes place. Have a few fun photo's taken with guests using it if you want. But make it clear that for the meal and after, it's not part of the wedding. Perhaps put "bowling available between such and such times", on the wedding invite.

PhoenixRises · 29/02/2016 12:03

We had bowling at a family wedding. The venue was about the same size and it was brilliant.
The venue closed off three lanes for us (iirc!) and people went up and down as they chose.
Some fabulous memories that night of the bridge and groom having a team grudge match in full wedding gear - and the photos to match.

EponasWildDaughter · 29/02/2016 11:53

I doubt you'll be able to keep it a secret that there's a bowling alley up there anyway. They make a racket!

I would worry about making a gender/age split in the middle of the wedding.

grannytomine · 29/02/2016 11:51

OP I don't think either of you are being unreasonable, people can have different ideas without being unreasonable. Can you compromise? Maybe have it open for an hour or two, depending on timings there can often be a bit of a lull in weddings and it might be fun. Obviously I have no idea of timings so it might not work. I am sure it will be the first of many compromises you are going to make over the years, the basis of a good marriage in my experience. I hope it works well whatever you decide and good luck for the big day.

CornishDoll82 · 29/02/2016 11:46

God I hate bowling. It's so dull and some people get so into it. You're enjoying a drink and being shouted at to have your go. My heart would sink at this at a wedding.

Spring2016 · 29/02/2016 05:36

No, not for a wedding of the style you have already planned. But you now know what type of birthday party to plan for your finacé.

Starface · 29/02/2016 04:57

I can actually see the point of those who say bowling takes a while, longer than the stuff I had or OP already has planned. If you can't dip in, dip out, it's potentially more disruptive. If you have spaces in the day where people might use it that makes sense, but not if its already packed. 150 is a fair few people though, big enough to lose 10 or so at a time without major impact. Depends partly how big the bowling alley is.

But I think I'd either take photos and have bowling or leave photos and leave bowling. As a guest looking at photos later, if there were bowling photos but no bowling I'd be "where was the bowling?". It seems a bit strange to make a deal of it in the photos but not let people use it. The photographer may be thinking "I can take some cool photos here that are a bit different" (shooting weddings can get very samey and you'd look to create individual, different pics). But I guess photos can be unconnected to events. I guess your view may depend on your sense of the function of the photos for you - a record of events and a few nice couples pics/family shots, or how far you want to go down the photo shoot route. Again all of that is personal preference though, no value judgements here. Some of the photo shoot type pics you see are incredible, but weren't for me.

How am I doing at being unhelpful and fence sitting? I'm getting more invested in the dilemma the more I think about it!
Sorry OP.

Ps Thanks Nina.

BYOSnowman · 28/02/2016 23:38

The photos make me think of those crazy wedding photos that end up on specialist 'crazy wedding photo ' blogs!!

BackforGood · 28/02/2016 23:33

I think the idea of some guests going off in the evening to do bowling is a bad one - it will 'split the crowd' as it were and make your planned evening entertainment very quiet.
I too am confused as to why you would want a backdrop of bowling alleys in your wedding photos if it's not part of your day, or the pair of you didn't meet on a bowling team that spends 4 nights a week practising and taking over your lives.

NinaSimoneful · 28/02/2016 23:11

Starface
That sounds awesome

ElaineVintage · 28/02/2016 22:51

My wedding was at a private hire bowling alley venue.

It was fantastic fun and memorable for the guests.

Go for it!

MidniteScribbler · 28/02/2016 22:35

I think ten pin bowling at a wedding sounds like a lot of fun. I went to a wedding held at a bowls club and they had barefoot bowling going on. A lot of barefoot, slightly tipsy fun.

But if not everyone will fit upstairs and you don't have exclusive use, then it does seem a bit odd for people to be disappearing during the wedding. It's more of an all in thing to me.

But the photobooth is something I'd avoid (hate having my photo taken) and the cartoonist is only going to amuse people so long. They are things that can only be used by a couple of people at a time. Just keep the champagne flowing and the photo sessions short and you'll be fine.

BYOSnowman · 28/02/2016 22:04

150 people are not going to be going there

it's giving some of your guests who may not like the other entertainment laid on another option.

BlueRaptor · 28/02/2016 22:02

Yes the photos have no particular relevancy, I just thought we might as well get a few silly shots if it's there and isn't costing us anything extra. My worry is if on the day it's quiet, all my guests will bugger off to the bowling alley and I'll have an empty hall

OP posts:

Quoteunquote · 28/02/2016 22:01

Oh please let your guests use the bowling , sounds great silly fun at a wedding.

BYOSnowman · 28/02/2016 22:01

the photos will be a bit random surely?

Why don't you see how it goes on the day - if there are no bookings for the alley just ask if you could use it for a few hours while the disco is on

BlueRaptor · 28/02/2016 21:59

The alley is open to the public - the venue coordinators have agreed to close it for the hour immediately following the ceremony so we'd have it for some silly photos but it would be reopened after this if the public chose to use it (no guarantee, it may well be empty all day but not something I would know until the day of).

OP posts:

BYOSnowman · 28/02/2016 21:57

if the alley is open to the public that is totally different and having photos there would be weird as well!!

BlueRaptor · 28/02/2016 21:55

Miss I agree completely, hence we're only disappearing for an hour as I didn't want to be gone too long.

Starface making it a 'fun' event is really important to me, hence the things we have bought out and paid for so far, I just don't feel like a bowling alley on a seperate floor and that is also open to the public (unless I pay a very high private hire cost) is where I see our guests mingling. I'm sure it would be a lot of fun don't get me wrong but just not sure it's ideal.

OP posts:

BYOSnowman · 28/02/2016 21:52

let your guests bowl - it would be a nice touch at the wedding

if i found out there was a bowling alley guests could have used I would think it really odd of you tbh

MissTurnstiles · 28/02/2016 21:44

The most boring thing at a wedding is attempting to survive on three canapés and a glass of warm fizz while the bride and groom disappear for hours for endless photographs.

Don't leave your guests for too long, OP.

Starface · 28/02/2016 21:44

We had giant scalectrix, remote controlled car table football and soft play stuff at ours. Plus party boxes for the kids. It was memorable, fun and made for great photos. I'd like to think it reflects the kind of people we are. Because it could only take a few people at a time no one spent the whole event there. It was a great way to get people who didn't know each other mingling. It kept people entertained. Bowling sounds like a brilliant added bonus to me. People will leave it for moments like the dance etc. But it depends on how you approach life, these sorts of events, family culture etc etc. Depends what you want really.

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Costacoffeeplease · 28/02/2016 21:40

I'm not a fan of photo booths but I'm not invited anyway

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 28/02/2016 21:40

I think it would be much more fun than music and dancing, which are equally divisive especially when there's nowhere quiet for those that just want to chat to disappear to. But with that number of guests I agree it wouldn't work.

SanityAssassin · 28/02/2016 21:40

Do your photos if it's what you want.

Bowling is dull as ditchwater though after the first throw - it drags on people have to be called back to throw....etc

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