To have made the teenage boys share the same bathroom

[DadKeepsCalm1]

We live in a townhouse with 3 floors and have 3 bathrooms. Me and my wife have an ensuite in our bedroom, we have have a family bathroom the two boys have a bathroom on the top floor (where their bedrooms are. The bathroom has his and hers sinks and a shower.

Whenever the boys use the bath or shower they never clean the bath or shower after themselves. Me, my wife and dd are tied of having to clean the bath or shower before we use them.

So I have said that if the boys are happy to wash in a dirty bath and shower then they can both share their bathroom. They also never clean the his and hers sinks and one of the sinks is covered in charcoal cleanser, the cupboard is full of used deodorant cans and other products that the boys can't be bothered to throw away.

So aibu to do this until they start cleaning up after each other.

YANBU to make them share a bathroom.

YABU to raise two teenage boys who have no fucking idea how to look after themselves or their future home. You're condemning them to a life of constant arguing with any future partners about the fact that they never clean up after themselves. Tell them to buck their ideas up.

Why is it that you've managed to raise a daughter who is able to keep her living conditions sanitary, but not sons?

So who's fault is it if a teenager does nothing at all to help around the house - no cooking, no ironing, hovering nothing ?

I feel sorry for their future partners.

As the mother of two teenaged boys I understand they don't do housework of their own free will and their standards are way lower than mine, so it's mine and my dh's job to ensure that we create situations that make them want to do it.

Tactics include:

• an allowance in return for the completion of certain weekly hoovering jobs
• everyone irons their own shirts from the age of 16 after a tutorial
• everyone is responsible for cooking a meal a week during school holidays (or paying for the take away)
• ultimatums. You don't get a lift to the party unless your room is cleaned.
• occasional option of earning pocket money for doing extra jobs e.g. cleaning the oven, painting a room
• actual step by step teaching of how to clean a loo, how to use a washing machine etc Then reminding and again.

It's a bloody hard slog and my boys are not model citizens but I'm determined they aren't going to look on me and their future partners as their handmaidens.

Parent their bloody arses, OP.

I shared a house at uni with a boy who was amazed when he saw me and other (female) housemate cleaning the loo and bathroom because as he said, I thought they just kept themselves clean!

I had my two boys share a bathroom, I never used theres as it stunk of pee, so I taught them to clean it.Starting when the older one was about 8, I'd stand in the doorway and give directions. Once they have to clean up the pee each time they learn quickly to aim better. The shower I did myself, each time I was doing ours it was easier to spray it down, walk away and then come back and wipe and rinse. It's not magic, we had no cleaner and both boys are capable of cleaning.

Teenage boys living like pigs, what a shock. With my sons I had a rule if the bedroom door was left open the room had to be clean and tidy, if they wanted to live in squalor they kept the door shut. You could have the same rule with the bathroom. Mine seemed to survive uni perfectly well and are all adults now and have clean tidy houses. i often threaten to go round and mess up their houses and jump on their sofas in revenge.

Get a cleaner and take the cost out of their pocket money. Result is clean bathroom and bedrooms, wage for cleaner and boys realising the cost of their filthiness.

Don't just leave it. Think of their future partners!

RhiWrites it does always mean they will be like this as adults. My sons are all very fussy and keep their houses/flats clean and tidy. The one who is married does more housework than his wife, she tends to do the cooking, they share the childcare and he does tidying/cleaning. Sometimes I think if you push too hard it can make them go the opposite way.