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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have made the teenage boys share the same bathroom

57 replies

DadKeepsCalm1 · 28/02/2016 20:16

We live in a townhouse with 3 floors and have 3 bathrooms. Me and my wife have an ensuite in our bedroom, we have have a family bathroom the two boys have a bathroom on the top floor (where their bedrooms are. The bathroom has his and hers sinks and a shower.

Whenever the boys use the bath or shower they never clean the bath or shower after themselves. Me, my wife and dd are tied of having to clean the bath or shower before we use them.

So I have said that if the boys are happy to wash in a dirty bath and shower then they can both share their bathroom. They also never clean the his and hers sinks and one of the sinks is covered in charcoal cleanser, the cupboard is full of used deodorant cans and other products that the boys can't be bothered to throw away.

So aibu to do this until they start cleaning up after each other.

OP posts:
PreAdvent13610 · 28/02/2016 21:04

We have 3DD who shared a shower room, got them a bottle of shower spray and a squeegee, that worked. Sink cleaning was never their forte, but they survived.
Monthly inspections is about right, just enough to keep Legionnaires at bay.

dementedma · 28/02/2016 21:07

My 20 something DDS have to share a bedroom,and all the family ( 5 of us) share one bathroom. I'd love to have your worries OP.

Original poster
DadKeepsCalm1 · 28/02/2016 21:09

Do inspections monthly, no pocket money if it's a mess.

No I don't think I'm going to bother, if they won't to live like that I am going to let them.

The bedrooms are awful as well. I don't think I have ever seen dss bed made. We occasionally are short on plates and glasses because the boys leave them in their rooms and don't bring them down.

I found yellow stained tissues stuffed behind ds wardrobe the other day. I think both boys live in squalor I can only see it getting worse if they go to uni.

OP posts:
bettyberry · 28/02/2016 21:12

My 8yo makes a hell of a mess in the bathroom. I make him clean it. I even make him clean the dribbles from the seat. In fact he is so good at cleaning he could probably teach your teens a thing or two.

Failing that shame them on facebook or teach them how to do? www.wikihow.com/Teach-Your-Teen-to-Clean-the-Bathroom

PreAdvent13610 · 28/02/2016 21:15

If you want clean bathrooms you may have to bother being a parent.

YaySirNaySir · 28/02/2016 21:16

Yabu to expect them to throw away used deodorant cans - encourage them to recycle!
Yanbu to not want to share a bathroom with stinky teenagers that's why ensuites were invented.

What is charcoal cleanser?

monkeysox · 28/02/2016 21:18

Unacceptable for any person to live in filth. All children should be educated in minimum standards of cleanliness.

Original poster
DadKeepsCalm1 · 28/02/2016 21:18

If you want clean bathrooms you may have to bother being a parent.

I have cleaned bathrooms up until they were 14 (and kept doing it till now). They are 16 and 17 what are they supposed to do at uni or beyond. I can understand if the were age 5 but not 16 or 17 and they can clean a shower, I have showed them many times they are lazy.

OP posts:
Quoteunquote · 28/02/2016 21:20

Change the wifi password to, "Only available if all the bathrooms are spotless".

and only give it out if they are, change it everyday.

They need to be equipped to go out in the world and being able to do simple things such as clean up after themselves is top of the list.

If you fund them, suggest that they consider that as the house has to be cleaned and they can't be bothered to do their fair share then those funds will have to cover a cleaner's wages.

Original poster
DadKeepsCalm1 · 28/02/2016 21:21

What is charcoal cleanser

It is a skincare product used by dss it dries and stains and requires a lot of scrubbing to remove.

OP posts:
PortobelloRoad · 28/02/2016 21:23

What punishments have you put in place for them when they don't clean up? If they're still in possession of phones, laptops, gadgets, wifi etc, and going out with their friends and other privileges then you aren't doing enough.

You need to teach them that their actions have consequences. You're setting them up with no life skills here, that is your job.

ILoveACornishPasty · 28/02/2016 21:28

Please only subject them to this terrible plight if you are also going to provide them with the Childline number.

Original poster
DadKeepsCalm1 · 28/02/2016 21:32

I have tried punishments but they don't work because. They change for a little bit but then they go back to not cleaning.

Punishment of dss just leads to arguments and other a shower I can't be faced with it when we have enough arguments already.

OP posts:
EweAreHere · 28/02/2016 21:33

Kick them off the wifi and confiscate their phones until their bathroom is clean. Repeat this step once a week, named day/time deadline weekly, and don't let them back on until its done.

EweAreHere · 28/02/2016 21:33

Their future partners will thank you.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 28/02/2016 21:34

Our two DDs share a bathroom, and so do our two DSs. I can assure you the girls' bathroom is no cleaner than the boys'. I have purge every so often when I insist they give them a good scrub. Mostly they maintain a sort of liveable vague grubbiness. Bathroom wipes are your friend.

EweAreHere · 28/02/2016 21:37

Yes to bathroom wipes! My 8 and 10 year old boys use them to swipe down their sinks, counters and the outer bits of the toilets, and know how to use bleach and a toilet brush. They clean their bathrooms when told to or lose things. The girl will be learning to clean things, too.

MilkOfAmnesia · 28/02/2016 21:38

Agree with GrumpyOldBag, Why isn't the cleaner doing the Bathrooms? Hmm

3 bathrooms, his and hers sinks, teenagers with charcoal face wash Grin

Spandexpants007 · 28/02/2016 21:42

So what do they do around the house? Do they cook the odd meal or Hoover through? Do they wash/iron their own clothes? Why are they so crap with bedrooms/bathrooms all of a sudden?

Original poster
DadKeepsCalm1 · 28/02/2016 21:54

No no cooking, no ironing, hovering nothing. All I ask is they clean the bath or shower after themselves and they are too lazy too do it.

It has been like this for a while.

OP posts:
wavingnow · 28/02/2016 21:58

A lot of uni's have cleaners now so that's prpbably not going to be a problem. Parents have to stick at parenting long after they think they should. Give them the option of doing other really horrible jobs in place of having to clean their bathroom. Get the agreement in writing.

TheLesserSpottedBee · 28/02/2016 21:58

I'm having flashbacks to uni where I shared a house with boys who couldn't cook or clean. It is disgusting to inflict these children on the rest of the world.

The fact you can't be arsed to stand over them whilst they clean a bathroom is worrying. If they don't start now how are they ever to flat share or live with other people?

You have a 17 year old who cannot/does not cook? How are you preparing them to be fully functioning adults?

Loqo · 28/02/2016 22:00

Kick them of wifi and change your wifi name to IsTheBathroomCleanYet

DoreenLethal · 28/02/2016 22:06

Surely, as you are the parent it is your job to teach them these things. You cannot turn round at 14 and say 'surprise, i have cooked cleaned and done your bidding and now you need to do it', you have to teach them that being part of a family means everyone pitches in. But thats from them being small.

Leggytadpole · 28/02/2016 22:06

How are you helping them to become independent adults OP?

I can understand why it seems easier to not address the problem and leave them to it, but putting in place clear boundaries and expectations is probably the better way to tackle this.

There really is no excuse for them not to be doing their share around the house.