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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents should pick up after their kids who make mess in restaurants

344 replies

LifeofI · 28/02/2016 19:17

Do you think so?

I was in a restaurant today with my friend and her two year old, her child always eats about 4 chips then the rest she just throws the food around. When we were leaving a lady made a comment "aren't you going to clean that up" my friend didn't hear but i did and said no and she just tutted.

When i got home me and my partner had a discussion and he thinks the parents should clean up after their child as he has work as a waiter and said it is annoying but i'm on the fence about it. We have a very young baby who hasn't started eating solids so we are not at that stage.

What do you think?

OP posts:
RidersOnTheStorm · 29/02/2016 06:28

Then don't feed her rice, Atenco. I can't believe that you think it's ok to leave a mess on the floor for someone else to clear up.

Thefitfatty · 29/02/2016 06:47

My Dh and I had a huge argument about this with my DB. DB is a server and hates picking up after little kids. DH and I ALWAYS pick up after our DC's (when they were babies, they don't do it anymore), BUT when they were at their mess making worse, we would usually wait until they had finished eating (providing the food wasn't anywhere where other people would be bothered like the middle of an aisle), and then I would ask our server for a broom so I could sweep up (never a problem, servers were always pleased to give me a broom or a mop or whatever I needed, I was a server myself for years).

Well, we were in restaurant in Bali with my brother, and DD, who was 13 months at the time, was throwing her food around like the little devil she was, and, as per our custom we were leaving it till she was good and done and then I would ask for a broom. However, in Bali the serving staff is a little bit more prompt and suddenly our sever showed up with a broom and started sweeping up DD's mess. I protested and said I could do it, and he was very polite and said no problem, she's a lovely baby, and all that, and I thanked him and left a big tip. That was enough for DB though who went off about what lazy parents we were and he hates parents like us. Suffice it to say we didn't speak to him for 2 days until he apologized and admitted he has no idea what it's like to have little kids.

megletthesecond · 29/02/2016 06:47

I've always cleaned up the worst of it and picked up bits from the floor. I don't want someone slipping over on a piece of dropped food. I know the waiting staff will do it properly once we've left but I'm not going to leave debris everywhere while we eat.

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 29/02/2016 07:14

I would pick chips and things off the floor, and if the table was really messy, I'd tidy it a bit. My general rule of thumb is that I try and leave it no messier than it would normally be without kids. It still has to be cleaned whatever but I don't feel it's fair on staff (or other customers, actually) to have to spend ages cleaning up after my kids.

escapedfrommordor · 29/02/2016 07:36

I always, always get down on the floor and pick up what I can. If there's a waitress nearby I always say "So sorry she made a mess, I've picked up the bits of food." They're appreciative 100% of the time, thank me and say I needn't have worried. They must get sick to death of lazy, entitled parents treating them like rubbish. Dreadful example to set to kids too.

verytiredmummy1 · 29/02/2016 07:37

I'd always clean up as much as I can. It shouldn't be the job of a waiter / waitress

Mynameisdominoharvey · 29/02/2016 07:40

My DS is notorious for eating one or two chips/nuggets/whatever and throwing the rest on the floor. It mortifies me and I tend to spend the whole meal up and down picking up the food before some poor soul treads it all into the bottom of their shoes! DH thinks I'm crazy, he'd happily leave it but I find that (and him!) rather rude

lilypoppet · 29/02/2016 07:48

Ibe worked in a cafe and had to clear up after mums picking up baby wipes and thrown food. Even a nappy once. I'd clear up if you don't want your name to be mud in the kitchen after you've left!

Topsy34 · 29/02/2016 07:48

Yes! Of course, pick up all the bits you can,mand say sorry about the crumbs.

Same for baby wipes, why do people feel the need to scatter food splatter wipes all over the table, just stick them in a nappy bag or the bin

Liberated71 · 29/02/2016 07:56

Absoblumminlutely! Do as you would be done by - it's never too early to Instill and model good table manners (so "allowing" food throwing is wrong - remove the unconsumed food) and respect for the staff and other diners in the restaurant/establishment.

SirChenjin · 29/02/2016 08:03

Confused Turkey

glowfrog · 29/02/2016 08:06

Why would anyone leave food in front of a child who's only going to throw it on the floor?? If they are throwing it away they don't want it. So take it away.

ohtheholidays · 29/02/2016 08:19

Of course they should!

The pay in those places is usually crap with very little thanks for the job those poor buggers are doing and lots of restaurants have such a quick turn around now that the staff will have a few minutes to take everything away from the table,scrape all the plates of into the bins in the kitchen and empty the glasses/cups,then they have to go and clean the table and the chairs of if they've been unlucky enough to have very entitled parents eating there with they're children and then they need to move all the chairs out so that they can sweep up the food from the floor.

People that act like your friend and you did really piss me off!

There's 7 of us,we have 5DC and 2 of our DC are disabled and I'm now disabled and seriously ill and we always clean up after ourselves including when I'm having to use the wheelchair so if we don't use any of that as an excuse I honestly can't see why nearly everyone else couldn't do the same.

SirChenjin · 29/02/2016 08:19

Exactly glow

expatinscotland · 29/02/2016 08:22

Wow, there are some right discourteous people on this thread.

Lopperlady1 · 29/02/2016 08:22

It depends on the restaurant and how messy... I usually tidy up and clean up anything obvious (chips/ dropped cutlery/ put plates neatly etc) but with a 1 and 3 year, especially on my own, it can be very difficult to get down under the table and start wiping with baby wipes! I would always apologise for any mess and leave a really good tip too.

We usually go to wagamamas and virtually impossible to get under their tables!

I've been out with friends before who haven't tidied at all and that's been quite embarrassing but looks like I wouldn't do as much as most on here!

MartinaJ · 29/02/2016 08:23

I agree that it's very wrong to leave a complete mess. Doesn't mean you have to ask the waiter for a mop but yes to the table, as much as you can. I don't agree with parents who believe that their little darlings can have a free run in the restaurant and/or create as much mess as possible.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/02/2016 08:26

Smears, smudges and crumbs I wouldn't generally bother.
Half chewed lumps of food, yes, I would put it back on the plate.
Anything large that has fallen to the floor, I would retrieve and put on the plate, not least because of the danger of people slipping on it.

Having said that, DS2 still sits in a highchair in restaurants (and home) because he prefers it; and in the restaurant, if he's spilt all over the tray, I usually wipe it up.

I also stack plates, put napkins on plates etc. in an effort to make things easier for the waiting staff. Theirs is a shit enough job, I don't need to make it any harder for them.

Moomintroll85 · 29/02/2016 08:30

Of course you should make an effort to clean up after your kids ShockConfused

I used to be a waitress and it tended to be the customers that talked to us like we were below them that didn't make the slightest effort to clean up after their kids.

I always clean up as best I can after my DS, I would be too ashamed not to.

honkinghaddock · 29/02/2016 08:32

I pick up any large bits or chewed bits and mop up large spills on the table. I don't go picking up crumbs or using wet wipes on the floor.

TuckingFablet · 29/02/2016 08:32

I always clean up after dd. Years of being a waitress have made me always stack plates, pick up any dropped food on the floor and make sure it's as easy as possible for the staff to grab the plates and just wipe the table.
Just because they work there, it doesn't mean you should leave mess. It is hard work being a waitress and if the place is busy, leaving a load of mess will just cause stress where there is no need.

bobble293 · 29/02/2016 08:37

It's nice to see responsible parents predominate here. I wish I ate where they do...

squeak10 · 29/02/2016 08:49

Letting your child throw food around is bad enough, not picking it up is worse! Does your friend leave it lying around at home? Very bad mannered of her. Not a good role model for the child. You should both be ashamed.

Mrsw28 · 29/02/2016 09:05

I can't believe how some people have reacted on this thread! It is completely unrealistic to think that when you take your toddler out that they are not going to make a mess on the floor/table and that you should leave the place sparkling. Part of the joy of going out for a meal for us is that we don't have to wash up, wash the floor etc. It IS part of a service person's job to clean tables after guests. We have DS who is 2 and DD who is 5 months, not eating yet, and we only ever go to family restaurant(s) where children are welcome, we usually go to the one with the all you can eat "free" salad bar. DS makes a mess every time, we wipe up the tables and stack our plates, putting used napkins and any leftovers in the top bowl so it's easier to remove and if there are large chunks on the floor I'll pick them up. I might ask for a dustpan and brush if it's really bad. I do not get down on my hands and knees and wipe the floor!!! I can't believe some of you expect that. If the mess is considerable, we might bump up the tip.

There are some really judgy, high and mighty people on mumsnet that seem to have forgotten what having toddlers is like.

RhodaBull · 29/02/2016 09:08

Not only is it disgusting behaviour to allow children to throw food around and smear it, but what about the other customers?

I was once at a vair posh restaurant and there was a large family at the next table who created mayhem. There was food everywhere and it was stomach churning. Naturally the sort of parents who don't object to children making mess are the sort who think that letting them roam round, hang off the backs of chairs, crawl on the floor etc is entirely acceptable too.

I am absolutely Shock at the poster who blithely says that her toddler eats four chips and throws the rest on the floor. FGS take the plate away!!