Is it unreasonable

[DisappointedOne]

to book your wedding for your sibling's anniversary? BIL has and DH isn't happy. The date has no significance for them, it's just a bank holiday.

I did this and mentioned it to them before they didn't seem bothered so we have same anniversary date just 7 yrs apart

Oh dear, I get the impression that your dh moved away and now he doesn't like it. He should tell brother no re extra weekend. The rest just sounds a bit he said she said.

Make a decision and stick to it.

My brother got married on my 21st birthday Loads of rellies gave me money (I hadn't told anyone but someone must have)

He moved for uni. Not sure what difference that makes through.

Because he moved away. They haven't excluded him on purpose.

He moved for uni and decided to not move home. Entirely his choice, nothing wrong with that.

But when you move away this is one of the consequences. Sounds like he is struggling to deal with it.

I grew up 200 miles from my family. Didn't stop them being family. They (none of them inc PIL) ring or text, Skype, visit, send cards etc. Are you really telling me this is normal?

You didn't say get never get in touch.

You said he doesn't see them as regularly as he would like. And that they see each other a lot.

I think any sort of interaction would be appreciated to be honest. It's only now that DH is really starting to see how little effort is made for him. (We've visited 6-8 times a year to see them until a year or so ago.)

I know it's not the point but I wish dh's family were more like this!

They make a Big Fuss about everything and get really snarky with ME (not DH because as a man he couldn't POSSIBLY be expected to do woman things like sending cards) when I don't remember or think to do the same.

I mean they send us Easter boxes full of tat (no kids), albums for anniversaries (our wedding was super crazy low key which is how we wanted it but SIL was over the top and planned so much that no one seemed to enjoy it), Valentine's Day cards, cards for every possible occasion, etc.

Then as I say they get snarky with me when I don't reciprocate. To be honest it doesn't even cross my mind as I find it all silly.

Where was I going with this rant?

One of my sons lives over 200 miles away, he isn't as involved in what goes on in the family, how could he be? I see my son, daughter and grandchildren several times a week, sometimes for 5 minutes but sometimes longer, as they live within walking distance. You can't have the same sort of contact if you live 250 miles away, it just isn't possible. My son makes an effort, visits often as he can, phones at least once a week. If I had my choice I would like all my kids to live local but it isn't possible and I understand that for career reasons he lives where he lives. He can't expect the rest of the family to avoid each other as it isn't "fair" that we all see more of each other.

Yeah, you're right. Much too hard to send a text once in a while or remember a small child's birthday. DH should expect to do all the running for ever more. [/sarcasm]

Of course he doesn't want them to see lesson each other! He's just like to hear from one of them every once in a while! How unreasonable!

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