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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hope my DD doesn't turn out to be introverted?

93 replies

Jellybeam · 28/02/2016 12:06

DD is 8/9 weeks and she's quite a calm baby. She only cries when hungry, needs a change or a cuddle. I do worry that this may be down to her personality, being the quiet type. Which may not work in her favour when she's older e.g. Making friends and being likeable in school/work, participating in group activities, going for a job which requires a more outgoing/social personality.

Has anyone had a calm baby that actually turned out to be a confident adult?

OP posts:

FaFoutis · 28/02/2016 12:48

I'm an introvert and I'm likeable and confident, thanks.
You need to work on accepting difference, your child will not be exactly as you want her to be, introvert or not. Unless this is just hormones, in which case forget I said anything.

treaclesoda · 28/02/2016 12:59

Sorry, I meant to say in my post that I don't actually think there is anything wrong with being an introvert. Nothing at all.

But the reason I say I worry about my DD is because I am an introvert myself and I do find that the workplace etc is a real struggle for an introvert.

BlueMoonRising · 28/02/2016 13:01

It's an interesting trait I have noticed with some extroverts - they assume introverts are some combinations of unhappy/depressed/not confident/need cajoling into doing stuff/really want to be out partying/say no to events when they really mean yes and say no because they want extra attention

Op, are you an extrovert? Do you have a skewed idea of what an introvert actually is?

Oh, and YABD (you are being daft)

BlueMoonRising · 28/02/2016 13:03

treaclesoda - surely you mean you fine the workplace etc is a real struggle for you?

I know plenty of introverts that get along just fine in the workplace etc, myself and my daughter included.

I also know extroverts that struggle with the discipline of having to get on with solitary tasks with a workplace. But I don't assume all extroverts do.

Oysterbabe · 28/02/2016 13:11

My DD is 8 weeks too and screams all day. I'll be surprised if she turns out to be loud as her father and I are both introverts.

RJnomore1 · 28/02/2016 13:22

I'm a very confident introvert. I love people but I need lots of time on my own.

Blueredballoon · 28/02/2016 13:24

I'd look up what introvert actually means if I were you.

hiddenhome2 · 28/02/2016 13:27

You can always trade her in if she doesn't come up to expectations

It's always nice to write people off isn't it?

treaclesoda · 28/02/2016 13:28

Bluemoon, sorry, perhaps I was generalising. I was just working from my own experience and that of other introverts that I know.

InQuiteAPickle · 28/02/2016 13:32

My DD1 was a very calm baby. Only cried when she was hungry, didn't cry when teething. She was ace.

DD2 constantly whinged, was very clingy and was much harder work as a toddler.

Guess which one is the confident extrovert and guess which one is the shy, quiet introvert...

originalmavis · 28/02/2016 13:36

Nothing wrong with being the quiet confident type!

My dad was like that and he was well liked and respected. He was very intelligent, had no edges or airs and graces, very honest and funny and interesting.I'm was the loud type and, God bless her, rather irritating and quite overbearing (very kind hearted though and wouldn't ever do anyone a bad turn).

originalmavis · 28/02/2016 13:37

'I'm was'? 'Mum was'. Now there's a Freudian slip...

InQuiteAPickle · 28/02/2016 13:41

Btw, there's nothing wrong with being an introvert. It just means that you might be quiet and like your own space.

I'm quiet and shy but I'm not sure if I'm much of an introvert - I prefer to do things with people than on my own. Although I do like my own space and DD1's excessive talking does wear me down at times.

It's the being shy part that makes my life difficult but you can be shy and be extroverted too. My mum and SIL are 2 examples that I can think of.

Cladder · 28/02/2016 13:46

I think you need to accept your child for who she is and who she chooses to be. Chances are she will be nothing like how you hope/imagine but still wonderful.

What you need to worry about is how YOU are going to go about ensuring you accept her - just the way she is. And how you are going to support her through difficult times she will inevitably face in life (whether she turns out to be intro or extrovert).

All the best.

Loqo · 28/02/2016 13:52

Please, please, please print out your OP and have it framed.

Joking aside I had a really chilled calm PFB and he has grown up to be a chilled calm adult. He is reserved but isn't 'introverted' - the two characteristics are different. You can be reserved and confident.

All four of my DC are reserved which is suprising as I'm not at all however it's less suprising if you meet my DH.

My PFB was a content and happy baby. I guess it's luck of the draw that he was physically comfortable although I'd love to have taken the credit . Now that my DC are adults I think I can say that their personalities were apparent when they were tiny.

MrsBobDylan · 28/02/2016 14:18

Dh is a confident introvert and I am an extrovert who lacks confidence. We were both very calm, placid babies.

Just be happy that you have a calm baby and try not to worry.

NameAgeLocation · 28/02/2016 14:18

Look up what an introvert is first.

Then wait another 10 to 20 years to see what your daughter's like.

Then you can worry.

Signed, an introvert with plenty of friends, a happy family and a successful career.

PortobelloRoad · 28/02/2016 15:55

I think people in general are far too quick to categorize people into extrovert/introvert, we all have aspects of both and extrovert does not = confident and vice versa.

Labelling people/labelling ourselves can become a self fulfilling prophecy.

DerelictDaughter · 28/02/2016 16:05

Aw, OP, it's really intense having a new baby. Ignore some of these cynical old gits.

Children go through all sorts of stages including (possibly) extremely talkative, clingy, silent, gung-ho, random, outspoken and what looks like ADHD at times. It's like they try things on for size as they grow. They try out social language and what might sound like a forward, sociable older child can be a very uncertain one who's learned some lines from tv (I have one like that).

I'm a successful introvert: as in, I'm good at it. I have a great time. I just don't do hen nights or clubbing or public speaking (out of those three I'd choose public speaking ). Im also successful socially and at work. It's fine!

Gabilan · 28/02/2016 16:10

I'm introverted in the sense that I need time alone to recharge my batteries. Being with people saps my energy, although I enjoy it up to a point. I'm also a very good, fluent public speaker. I'm not shy and my career's fine. If and when I struggle with people it's because I'm having a Sheldon Cooper moment and wondering why they're so thick

SevenSeconds · 28/02/2016 16:13

I had two calm babies (and one non calm one!), I wouldn't describe either of them as introverts.

MrsJayy · 28/02/2016 16:15

Dd1 was a fussy grizzily baby dd2 was so laid back Dd1 is introverted and quiet Dd2 is the polar opposite. You are worrying over not a lot being introverted is no bad thing

MrsJayy · 28/02/2016 16:18

My introverted child is a police officer she managed just fine at school had a tonne of friends

Focusfocus · 28/02/2016 16:26

What? You have thought that far from the current disposition of a two month old?

Oh god. In barely managing to keep up with my four long old and can't even imagining thinking about anything further than tomorrow

Focusfocus · 28/02/2016 16:27

And what's wrong with being an introvert? I am a lifelong introvert andante on a career invoking speaking to hundreds of people travelling and in two leadership roles internationally. It just means I need to lie down before and after social occasions and I enjoy the lie downs more than any conversation!

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