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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed by DPs constant compliments?

60 replies

SashaFierce99 · 28/02/2016 00:16

I am a SAHM and DP works long hours. I don't do anything besides be with the DC and he occasionally goes out with friends but has no hobbies so I don't feel we have that much to talk about. I feel like he is constantly trying to catch my eye and everytime he does he tells me I'm amazing, he can't wait to marry me, meeting me was the best thing he ever did, I'm the love of his life etc. Even the oldest DC roll their eyes at him now as he says it to fill every silence.

He also declares his love 20+ times per day and I'm struggling to reply without sounding snappy. If I go upstairs to read with one DC for half hour he'll tell me he missed me when I come down...! I am pretty independent so not sure if I'm being harsh to be irritated by it all. Aibu to wish he'd find something else to say?!

OP posts:

Emzyt1 · 28/02/2016 22:57

Sounds like his kids have no respect for him . Do you think that is because they have picked up on your feelings towards him?

Brightnorthernlights · 28/02/2016 23:02

What do you love about him? Focus on that to try & help the relationship.

If you can't answer that then I would suggest you end the relationship.

Original poster

SashaFierce99 · 28/02/2016 23:03

No, they never have had any because he never follows through on anything. Half the time they don't even answer him if he speaks to them, he doesn't pull them up on it at all.

OP posts:

MistressDeeCee · 28/02/2016 23:11

You don't love him DCs don't respect him, you say you do nothing but be with the DCs. I get the feeling from what you've written that you've shut him out of being with DCs, and engineered their disrespect. Its all about you. The man seems to be your scapegoat in many ways you've put up at least 2 other threads previously complaining about him, including bout him paying maintenance for his DCs from before he met you (heinous crime!) ; so why don't you just end the relationship? I don't see why you should gain the moral high ground just because you're a woman and a mother.

Do without him then you won't have to put up with his constant declarations of love to upset and bore you, and your DCs will surely feel better without a man around they that they don't want to be anywhere near. After all you say you're pretty independent so surely you're not staying as its more convenient to do so..and again given what you've said it can't be "for the sake of the children"..

I bet if he grows a pair and leaves you, you'll want him back

givepeasachance · 28/02/2016 23:22

Totally agree

Just leave. You clearly dislike him.

Simples

BillSykesDog · 28/02/2016 23:28

Yes but when he does 'actions' like booking a nice surprise for your landmark birthday that's all wrong too. When he does look after the children you criticise his parenting. No wonder your children have no respect for him, they've picked it up from you. You've said on another thread that you ask them to report back to you on his behaviour when they're not around and you seem to relish it when the children criticise him to you.

A united set of parents would not be accepting children saying things like 'I don't want Daddy putting me to bed' or 'Daddy is boring'. He must feel totally undermined as a parent.

And I have absolutely no doubt that if he hadn't given DD the pudding you would be on here complaining about how mean that was and it was treating the children differently etc, etc, etc.

When he does do things you complain that he's not doing it well enough or doing it in the right way. When he doesn't do things because apparently he can't do them right you moan about that.

Answer the question: why won't you leave him? You have nothing nice to say about him, apparently the children can't stand him so it can't be for their sakes.

Katenka · 29/02/2016 06:35

Honestly op it sounds like you are enjoying pushing him out.

He can't do anything right. Your kids are picking up on it.

You don't like him, leave him. Because what you are doing isn't fair. I am pretty sure if a man was acting like this it would be labelled emotionally abusive.

PandoesnotwearRaphaclothes · 29/02/2016 07:06

Agree with comments about your not loving, or even liking him, and the kids pick up on your cues re parenting. This bloke stands no chance.
But I suspect from the stuff you type you like it like that.
It looks like you are the overly-needy one here - presenting the internet with parenting/relationship issues which you've helped create, offering no idea on how deal with it, nor bearing any responsibility.
You really do not sound like a nice person at all and dp would be well rid of you.

BestOnlineCommentSite · 29/02/2016 17:34

Have you not also started several threads about whether or not you're pregnant?

julfin · 29/02/2016 20:30

You clearly don't love (or even like) him any more. That's not a good situation for anyone concerned. It sounds as if it would be better for everyone if you left him - you can all then get on with your lives and hopefully find happiness.

Any reason not to leave?

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