Woman keeps demanding lifts! AIBU?

[blackcatwhitewhiskers]

This is so awkward.

I am friends with a lady (Jane) and we have a hobby we do together.

A few months ago Jane's sister Sue started coming along.

Jane is now unwell and not participating in this hobby - but sue keeps texting me and telling (!) me to pick her up!

It's really awkward. Sue doesn't live far away but it's in the opposite direction to the hobby.

I'm not being unreasonable, am I?

[Petal02]

I do a weekly hobby, one evening per week - and even a 10 minute detour in both directions would be really inconvenient on a regular basis (no problems with one-off) and would probably be enough to really spoil the whole hobby for me.

[Tangofandango]

Eminado absolutely. Being honest makes life so much easier and less dramatic. It doesn't have to be aggressive or confrontational. I didn't want to fall out with other two so thought it best to tell them rather than make up excuses. We are still friends many years later.

I've found it's easier to say it like it is as I've got older, and can't be bothered to tiptoe around people any more.

[LookAtAllThesePhucksIGive]

^Since she is clearly someone who thinks it is ok to be so direct, she can hardly expect anything else in response.
I would say i am not picking you up. I am not a taxi and i find your assumption that i ferry you around unacceptable.^

This exactly. Don't be afraid of being direct and honest. It's not like she pulls any punches is it? Dh taught me to be more direct. If he doesn't want to do something he just says no outright and gives his reason even if that reason is that he just doesn't feel like it. It used to embarrass me but now I like it. :o

[BabyGanoush]

She is a typical guilt-tripping user

Steer clear!

[fuzzpig]

Well done OP! Looks like you have got the message across :)

[MidniteScribbler]

It's just a polite acknowledgement that refusing to give her a lift will put her to some degree of inconvenience.

The choice of being inconvenienced is all hers. She has the option to get a drivers licence, buy a car, use a taxi, get on a train, catch a bus, ride a bicycle, or just use her own legs. Her lack of transport options are her own problem, not anyone else's.

[MoggieMaeEverso]

But why did she ask for the lift in the first place? I thought you had been giving Jane lifts, but if you hadn't, I wonder where she got the idea you would pick her up...? Anyway it sounds like you've set her straight with no drama, well done!

[TubbyTabby]

she's a cheeky mare.
you're well shot of her.

[Jelliebabe1]

Boooooo thought this was going to develop into a full blown liftzilla.... Very unaccommodating for her not to!

[GoblinLittleOwl]

Oh, lifts!!
I have noticed that there are those who drive, those who demand lifts, and those who flatly refuse to give lifts.

I do five activities during the week, and for four of them I have to collect other people because they are unable to drive or incapacitated.

These are some of the excuses offered when asking if other members might share the burden:

I don't want to commit myself;
I don't know if I shall be coming next week;
I might be called on to babysit;
I couldn't possibly use my car because I use it to carry straw for the horses;
My car is too small (now replaced with):
My night vision is terrible;
I am going to the dentist (2 hours later)
I am far too silly to learn to drive;
I am a terrible day-dreamer behind the wheel of the car;
I prefer to walk (unless somebody offers me a lift)
My husband doesn't like me giving lifts;
I like to get there/leave early.

Good luck!