To not get my DD any toys for her birthday.

[EveOnline2016]

DD has wrecked everything she had for Christmas. She was very spoiled from Dh and I plus family members.

I have instructed all family members that this year she is to get no toys at all for her 7th birthday. I have told them the reason as she doesn't respect anything and will wreck things.

I want her to respect her things.

A few have agreed but majority is making me out to be a bad guy.

What do I do, I refuse to spend money just for it to be wasted due to her wrecking things.

A few of us have asked you now-what does she say when you ask her why she does it? Is she angry in any other areas?

Rather than not allowing others to buy her toys for her birthday, I would let people get the toys but then ask her to choose one toy from the presents to keep it and play with, all others I would put away and tell her she will get to choose another in a week's time if the first one hadn't been destroyed.

If she is purposely breaking things then yes you are right not to buy her anything new until she agrees to look after things. I don't think you can control others thought. How about if she ruins something you tell her that she will have to explain to the person who bought it. That might get them on board next time.

I've threatened this before but never had to actually do it. Saying that nobody will want to buy DS any more toys tends to work.

She might not be purposefully breaking them, but investigating them.I jhave a DS who alway tool every toy apart to see how it worked (now studying mech eng!)
On the other hand If you are the sort of parent who thinks it is ok to punish their child in such a mean way on their b/day, then maybe this explains why she acts up?

She is breaking her things . Just don't replace them. You can't tell others not to buy her gifts, that's up to them.

Sounds like a very harsh reaction and Im wondering if there's more to this?

Sounds really wishy washy but she's showing a need to deconstruct, launch/drop/throw, water play

Geo mag kits are great, how about a proper Frisbee as well. Ooh ooh those dog ball throwing sticks, too. These last two are park/beach/large open space only though.

She's old enough to know about not throwing indoors or dropping stuff downstairs, it's not safe. Same with bath. You might need to wind back your expectations and try a teeny bit to dial up direct supervision - part of why she's doing unwanted stuff is because she can iyswim