Context: DD is 2. MIL is very generous and likes buying clothes etc for her (first grandchild), which I am grateful for. She usually asks if there's anything we need for DD, and mostly has good taste. She also happily buys anything we point out or send her a link to which I am really appreciative of. If left to her own devices she would shop for England and buy us far far more than we possibly need, which we've had to keep in check before as we honestly don't want or need or have room for too much stuff. She has two boys so a girl is a novelty which she is clearly excited about.
I've spent a lot of effort avoiding the pinkification, partly because I can't stand all the pink/blue segregation, partly because I'd rather have unisex clothes that might work for a second child of either sex. I've said lots of times in front of mil that this is how I feel.
However, more recently, she's ONLY been buying us pink stuff. She turns up with eg a coat (I've previously said no please don't buy her any more coats; she has 4 unworn in the drawer two of which you bought her already), and then says 'they only had pink ones left'. Ok, well my thought is: if they only have pink ones left, leave it in the shop. Today she went shopping for pjs for DD (having asked if she was in need of anything, DP said yes please, pjs) and once again, all they had in Central London was these bright pink ones. Bright pink stuff for Xmas. Multipack of pink and white tops earlier in the year (which I just dropped off with the local Salvation Army who collect kids stuff for families who need it).
It's getting frustrating, and I am not sure how to broach it. On one hand I know IABU to turn down gifts, but on the other hand it feels like she is disregarding my wishes on the subject on purpose. As DD gets to an age when she's going to start inevitably getting exposed to the 'pink is for girls' shit at nursery, I'm trying to old back the tide as long as possible. There's only so much quiet giving stuff away I can do without her noticing.
Can I /how do I broach it with MiL? I've asked DP to as he feels the same as me, but he hasn't and probably won't.
AIBU?
MIL buying pink stuff
Quodlibet · 25/02/2016 21:29
My MIL had 2 boys and always wanted a girl, she buys DD the most impractical massive can can party dresses but it's lovely, it's something I would never buy and I can tell she gets a lot of joy out of it so I let her get on with it. The massive dresses were a bit funny in the first few months when she looked like a little potato in a ballgown though 
You don't need to consider yourself lucky your daughter has a surviving grandparent but do consider yourself lucky there's no malice in your mil actions because There are plenty of cunty MIL out there
OP I completely understand! It's a hard one because you don't want to be ungrateful but at the same time all that pink is a bit unnecessary and overwhelming. When I got things like that from MIL for DD I would just try my best to mix and match - pink jeans with Star Wars t-shirt etc.
Also - I then went on to have DS and it makes me smile how much pink stuff has been passed down to him, not MIL's intention in the slightest (she buys him all cars and dinosaurs) but he just happens to love pink and fairies 
OP, do you perhaps think that it bothers you more because your views are been disregarded or ignored.
I only say this because that's how I feel with my mil so I go out of my way to piss her off
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I get you too and my teeth would be on edge if there was lots of pink glittery stuff for my (theoretical) daughter.
BUT - your DD has a loving gran who spends time with her and gives her gifts. I think all you can do is say 'thank you' and then go and buy something red/green/blue/yellow to balance your DD's wardrobe a bit.
I have 4 boys and I had to make a t-shirt that read 'Boys will be boys' disappear that my doting parents gave one of them. I hate gendered shit but it's all around us.
I like pink, but I hate how pink or blue is rammed down children's and parents' throats 
She is now almost 3 and always but always always always wants the pink version of anything. 'What colour scooter would you like for your birthday, DD?' 'PINK!' etc etc ad nauseam.
DD1 did this after my anti-pinkification campaign. It lasted about two years and she wouldn't be seen dead in pink thereafter. DD2, who wore much more pink as a baby, and is actually much girlier generally, never had a strong preference for pink and also rejected it from about 6 onwards. DS then wore some of the pink we had - people were HORRIFIED
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Oh and MIL once sent DD1 a Barbie pink short-sleeved (!) towelling tracksuit so horrendously naff chavvy as well as pink. Even DH was horrified. I found a picture of her wearing it the other day and it made me laugh out loud it was so hideous and she was so happy. So now I can only think fondly of it
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