Children's furniture argument

[Squashybanana]

Is my DH BU? I think he is.

My 5 year old DD's old toddler bed broke at the weekend. Tomorrow is my day off so I am going shopping for a new bed for her. DD is rather stereotypical in her 5 year old likes and loves princesses, love hearts, jewels etc. Her bedroom has white walls and pink, white and lilac bedding and curtains.

In my mental list I considered:

• It needs to last beyond her girly phase so I am not buying anything pink or lovehearted or a 'princess bed' which would be her heart's desire.

• However I do want her to be excited about her new big girl bed so I was going for something quite 'pretty' like a white metal framed bed with some curves on it which would still be suitable for the teenaged girl she will become

• This will also go with the decor of the room.

I mentioned to my DH that I was going to buy the bed tomorrow and was this OK (meaning, is it OK for me to spend the money tomorrow) and he said 'Yes, but I don't like white or girly. Get her a black or silver bed frame.'

I think this is unfair. His reasons are, he is contributing to paying so he should get a say and he doesn't like girly beds. My argument is, I am not buying a bed for him, it's for her, and whilst I will have due regard to the longevity of the bed and not go over the top with lovehearts etc, I don't want to buy something solely utilitarian (as all the silver beds seem to be) as she is all excited about her first big girl bed. I don't think he's considering her. He says 'guests may have to sleep in it' and I say 'Maybe once a year for a couple of nights, and I think they could manage a white bed'.

He says I can't just overrule him, to which I respond that he is just vetoing something based on reasons I disagree with, and is effectively overruling me.

Anyway in the end he said huffily 'just buy whatever bed you want' and has gone out (this was scheduled, he's not gone in a strop), but now I feel like if I do buy the bed I had planned I will feel all guilty.

Am I unreasonable to think that when you are buying a piece of furniture for a family member you consider their likes, tastes, room decor etc rather than choosing a bed that you would yourself want to sleep in? Or is his desire to have his opinion listened to and followed perfectly reasonable? have made some compromises as I originally suggested a daybed with trundle which he vetoed as he doesn't like them either, so as far as I'm concerned I have alreday taken his opinions and views into account!

Dd is 14, not girly but she's just had a white wooden cabin bed which she loves.

I'd advise you not to get a white metal bed. She had one of those & it creaked like anything. She found it very uncomfortable.

What about something like this?

www.wayfair.co.uk/Clematis-Childrens-Bed-Frame-DUST1467-DUST1467.html#&gid=null&pid=1

RJthat's lovely, it was what I had in mind at first. But I think the daybed idea has gone.

I might look for a wooden one with a simple heart or flower cut out...

Your husband is being a tit.

Let your daughter have a bit of input, for heaven's sake.

What's a day bed?

It's a bed with a frame around 3 sides so it looks a bit like a sofa cornish

Thanks!

my kids ended up with just bog standard ones with drawers under. they would have loved pretty ones but all I could think about was soft toy storage!

it is HER room though and HER bed so I think it has to be something suitable for a little girl.

what is wrong with white anyway?

If you get a metal frame bed it can always be painted if she does turn in to a goth.
I've slept at various people's houses where I have used a child's room, I'm grateful to have a bed and can cope with the dinosaur bedding, the glitter, the planets hanging from the ceiling etc etc.

Don't forget to get fairy lights, sometimes if she is really good Florence the light fairy will switch them on when she is having her bath so she can have fairy lights at bed time (get a plug in timer to switch them off).

We bought our teen daughter a pretty white metal bed like this:

www.dreams.co.uk/harper-bed-frame

We only had room for a single, but she would have happily slept in it as an adult and I would have slept in it too. It's timeless and suitable for an adult too, but pretty enough to satisfy a girly girl .

Black or silver? No.

A white bed will be fine, he's being daft. IKEA do a day bed with a trundle that makes it a small double. I thought it'd be ideal for occasional visitors if you have room to open it.

I bought the bunk bed version of that silver metal cabin bed. I had zero choice as I needed a shorty bunk. It was awful. Super noisy and creeky and the paint chipped off within 2 years.

However me and DH have a black cast iron bed and it's still in perfect condition 20 years later!

I've just bought white wood beds for the girls and they love them. I certainly wouldn't put black in a kids room! I also slept in a white metal day bed for a few days and guess what? I didn't explode!!

Why not buy a simple white framed 'utilitarian' bed and get new girly bedding (with a canopy ?) to tart it up? Perhaps some wall art stickers too.

I personally can't stand 'themed' beds so we bought bog standard white Ikea jobs where the frame goes round 3 sides.

They have since decided they want the bed with the frame at the front (like a bed guard) and have talked about spraying the frame a different colour.

One is into army colours and the other wants a bug themed room. Easy to do by changing the bedding and spraying the frame.

Get the white metal bed that your dd will love. A black or silver bed would look very odd in the room you describe.

When your dd grows and her tastes change you can always spray paint the bed frame to match. I've done this a few times and it's easy enough to do.

In the end I showed DD the website from the shop I intended visiting and she chose this bed. So not that girlie actually. I really think DH will be fine, he has form for being an arse then backing down very quickly I did show him the Cinderella silver bed when he got back from the pub and he did laugh.

I think it may have been the duvet cover that swung it for her...but it is just the kind of thing I'd have chosen. Now ordered.