How long is too long to have parents visiting? AIBU?

[EachToHerOwn]

I had an operation yesterday which is possibly why I'm awake since 2am and now stressing about this....!
DM&D live a couple of hours away and are planning to visit next weekend for 4 days and nights. They've booked into a local B&B as my op means we can't give them our bed and sleep on roll mats in DD1's room, which is what we'd usually do - so that's ok. But now I'm concerned about the length of visit anyway - what am I going to do with them for 4 days and evenings when they'll be at ours?
They are elderly, DM is particularly frail, so they can't really help with household chores or looking after DDs. I can't drive or lift anything heavy so DH will be coping with school/nursery pickups, household stuff, cooking etc and I'm concerned about adding to all that for him.
Usually if DM&D visit it would be for 2 nights max (same for us visiting them) and then we've pretty much had our fill (on both sides!) - they don't talk much (Mum barely at all), so we'll have exhausted conversation after an hour or two!
I'm struggling to know how to broach this with them without hurting their feelings but the thought of 4 days of their silent presence is stressing me out and taking post-op meds mean I can't drink through it! Should I just suck it up?

[Artandco]

I would set them up with stuff for the kids. As you say they are good with the them just hopeless at what to do

Ask for dm to help 5 year old with first sewing project. A basic felt puppet or something. Say how good she is at sewing child 1 would love to learn from her. That's 1hr gone

Then I would just say oh x loves drawing/ puzzles, would you mind helping them at the table a little while

Etc etc.

Yes you still need to suggest things but that means they are doing something with them.

How frail are they both? Could they cope with 2 year old if he was in a pram? Just taking him for a walk each day locally. Or maybe your dad could walk him on reins to get paper etc if he's usually a good enough walker

They can also do things to help like bathing kids. At 5 and 2. If you say run the bath not too deep and have a step at side they can both climb in and out along with your dad holding their hands rather than full lifting out and then just need watching.

Actually if you don't have def get a non slip step now and get both practicing climbing in and out bath with just you hand for help so after surgery you aren't lifting 2 1/2 year old so much.

Same with other things, like I would take youngest out of cot if he's still in so you aren't lifting him in and out, either side off or mattress on floor for now. Add stair gate to bedroom door if needed. Get him climbing in and pram and car seat with just hand for help rather than full lifting. Move water beakers/ plates/ snacks lower down in kitchen also or out on table so both can get own snacks easier and water etc so you aren't up and down. Start now so they have practice beforehand.

[EachToHerOwn]

So, their ETA on Sunday was 3pm and they arrived at midday ("we thought we'd set off early" what 5 hours for a 2 hour journey?!!). We were at church and then decided on the off chance to get some lunch out on the way home, so didn't even know they were around until we got a phone call! Oh how we fumed laughed!

artandco that's a good idea about the sewing project, will try that. It's not been too bad so far and dad has weeded and sorted the garden for us. They've gone out together today, so a bit of a breather for us all.

[MatildaTheCat]

Search your house for little jobs they can do for you. Suggest regular small outings in for a coffee and a walk ( you only if well enough). My dad will take a hoovering request very seriously. .

Retire to your room for restorative naps. Find movies that you can all enjoy ( possibly even DC). Let them help in the kitchen and don't try to do too much.

My parents are getting elderly and now want to come for longer than before,me think the journey is tiring and they are happy with a change of scene. After surgery they want to help so do let them but have a good think about how. The garden was a good project. Ironing? Bits of shopping? Bake a cake?

[TwistInMySobriety]

My ILs come from abroad for two months every year. Without checking the dates with us before booking their flights usually .

[NattyTile]

How's it going?