Or is this woman? Swimming pool etiquette

[clary]

I went swimming today and went in the middle lane. There was another woman in the same lane, swimming slower than me (totally fine). Judging by the speed of the fast lane and the slowness of the slow lane, we were both in the right lane!

I gradually catch her up, finally swimming up the lane right behind her. By accident (swimming front crawl) I tap her on the foot. She finishes her length – and must see me there. But off she goes, not stopping for me. Am I supposed to swim at her slower pace? Wait at the deep end for her to get ahead? What I did was overtake her. This happened about five or six times. In the end another swimmer was in the lane too and I had to overtake quickly to avoid a crash.

Am I missing something? Isn’t this woman being a bit selfish? I said nothing to her tho at one point she called something out to me. I prefer not to overtake tbh (because of possible collisions). I always move aside at the end of a length if someone is speeding up behind me. Doesn’t everyone do this? (obviously not this woman…)

In triathlons the etiquette when you find yourself behind a slower swimmer is to tap on their toe. At the end of the lane, the slower swimmer is supposed to let you overtake them. This instruction is given at the briefing before the race starts. Very sensible if you ask me. Apart from once when I let a 'faster' swimmer overtake me and he then went incredibly slowly in front of me and wouldn't let him overtake him

I quite often toe-tap accidentally: it's usually the first indication that I've caught up. I wouldn't continue to do so, but would slow down and try to overtake at the end. I agree with the OP - it is accepted etiquette to wait an allow a faster swimmer to overtake and it's really annoying when someone refuses to do this.

Agree with the PPs who commented that it's usually (young) men who a) put themselves in too fast a lane and b) refuse to give way to a faster woman.

And slow lane toe-tapping, particularly repeatedly is really bad form. If you are consistently faster than the other swimmer you need to move up and put some more effort in! The slow lane swimmers have nowhere else to go and it's unreasonable to make them feel under pressure.

I have the luxury of an olympic pool, with an "elite" lane these days. The egos are all in the elite lane or the fast lane and I usually have the middle lane to myself.

Lucky enough to have had a pool in my overseas days, and I struggle to share with strangers, especially in a cool, over-chlorinated pool .
Spoilt for life now! But a shame as so rarely swim, prefer to walk/run somewhere quiet.

Purplemeggie the boy racers amuse me endlessly. I see them at the end of other lanes waiting for me so they can race or they simply will not let me pass. I love having a lane to myself in the middle, one of life's little pleasures.

But if the slower swimmer stops to let the faster one go ahead aren't they then just going to meet each other head on when the faster one turns at the other end?

No, because in most pools, you swim at the side of the lane and either all go clockwise or anti-clockwise - these days there are often signs to guide you, but usually people can work it out without - you just do what other people in the lane are already doing.

I love having a lane to myself, too. But apparently it's not reasonable to ask other people to shove off to another lane when I get in, especially if it's busy.

"But apparently it's not reasonable to ask other people to shove off to another lane when I get in, especially if it's busy."

I know!

I wonder what I'm paying for sometimes!

Never heard of toe tapping and although I've never swam with a club Ive gone through stages of swimming regularly (2/3 times a week). This thread has enlightened me but I'd still find it rude... If I overtake I expect to time it or I do a short length, etc.
You have no way of knowing if she knew about the toe-tapping rule so YABU. Sounds like you should have moved up a lane.

this is soooo totally my kind of post! I have been pool swimming since mid 2010. I injured my shoulder back September, so I have been slowly recovering since. my routine was 2000 meters crawl in just under 1 hour. so it's a slowish but continuous pace. I have never heard of pool tapping on purpose, it sounds to me like a very rude thing to do. as an average speed swimmer I share lanes with both faster and slower swimmers. I'm lucky because my pool is usually quite deserted really, many times I have the lane all for myself. if there is a very slow swimmer I overtake him/her, of course taking into account if there are others in the lane. if it is a bit doubtful I just turn around mid lane. I absolutely hate when people rest at the end of the pool on the wrong side -the side where you reach the wall-, I sometimes tell them that you are supposed to wait on the other side. the very few times that I have swum breastroke, I have accidentally kicked people on other lanes. conversely, I have received horrendous hits on my right hand with those hellish hand things that people seem to love. btw, the pool in the picture looks heavenly. keep swimming mothers!!!!!!!!!

so, YANBU.

I've heard of toe tapping whilst doing triathlons, in that situation I think some people just put slow times down on purpose then speed along behind you as you struggle along.

Two annoying things I find in pools 1. The people who linger in the middle of the pool chucking each other about or chatting (I call them the hippo's as they have obviously just gone swimming for a wallow) and the splashers, I hate it when you are doing lengths and someone powers past you and near drowns you with their excessive splashing.

I will toe tap in my club sessions and if I'm swimming in a public session with obvious other club swimmers who would know the signal. I wouldn't toe tap leisure swimmers because it would freak them out. It's pretty easy to distinguish club from non club swimmers. I'm usually the fastest in the fast lane too so can't move up a lane, I also don't want to turn early to get ahead because my lap counter won't count that leg - when I'm doing 240 I will be buggered if I'm adding any more on because the backstroker/breaststroker won't let me overtake.

I would go crazy if someone touched my toe or any other part of my body whilst swimming. I have a massive phobia of wet fingers- pruny skin and cannot even touch my own body with wet hands.

Oddly, swimming is the only sport I like so I am very careful to avoid touching or being touched. On the odd occaisions it happens I have had panic attacks and once yelled so loud that the pool guard thought the person behind me had attacked me.

TO suggest that it is OK to touch me whilst swimming is absolutely abhorrant, I decide who touches me.

Now I have to go and calm down because the suggestion of touching me with wet skin is making my flesh crawl.

Thanks most of you, glad to see a consensus in favour of moving over.

To those who say I should have moved up, well I see your point, but there were 3 or 4 people in the fast lane, all a lot faster than me. I would have been stopping every 4 lengths at least, a pain for them too.

Whereas this woman and I were the only ones in the middle lane for much of my swim and I was only catching her every 8-9 lengths. I would say we were both in the right lane (slow lane a llloootttslower!)

I did not toe-tap btw, or at least only once and not on purpose. It's not something I would expect to do except in a triathlon (yeah right, like I'd overtake anyone in a tri! I am usually being tapped then )

Whereas this woman and I were the only ones in the middle lane for much of my swim and I was only catching her every 8-9 lengths. I would say we were both in the right lane

Sounds like it to me. She should have let you pass at the end of a lane, and if it was only ever 8 or 9 lengths, it's hardly a major problem for her.

Why do fast swimmers think they can storm up and down without regard to slower swimmers who they expect to cower out of their way? If they are both in the appropriate lane (but one happens to be slightly slower than the other) then the faster swimmer should surely just overtake but without expecting the other swimmer to pull over or stop?
My bug bear is side by side chatting swimmers - sometimes even 3 abreast.