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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or is this woman? Swimming pool etiquette

116 replies

clary · 22/02/2016 22:42

I went swimming today and went in the middle lane. There was another woman in the same lane, swimming slower than me (totally fine). Judging by the speed of the fast lane and the slowness of the slow lane, we were both in the right lane!

I gradually catch her up, finally swimming up the lane right behind her. By accident (swimming front crawl) I tap her on the foot. She finishes her length – and must see me there. But off she goes, not stopping for me. Am I supposed to swim at her slower pace? Wait at the deep end for her to get ahead? What I did was overtake her. This happened about five or six times. In the end another swimmer was in the lane too and I had to overtake quickly to avoid a crash.

Am I missing something? Isn’t this woman being a bit selfish? I said nothing to her tho at one point she called something out to me. I prefer not to overtake tbh (because of possible collisions). I always move aside at the end of a length if someone is speeding up behind me. Doesn’t everyone do this? (obviously not this woman…)

OP posts:

Cutecat78 · 22/02/2016 23:48

Sorry Pool

MidniteScribbler · 23/02/2016 00:15

If someone tapped my toe when I was swimming they would probably get a foot in their face. It would scare the heck out of me!

Saddlesore · 23/02/2016 00:43

She was BU. I swim a lot (I do triathlons) and in busy lanes it's considerate to allow faster swimmers to overtake at the end of a length. That said, try getting a man to allow you to overtake. Few can accept that a woman can swim faster than them. There was an occasional dickhead man at my local pool who never used to yield, and often the lanes were too busy to allow overtaking during the length. One day I was powering up and down and he entered the pool in my lane just moments before I reached that end and he set off immediately, rather than waiting for me to turn and go first. I made a point of making sure my hands hit his feet the whole length and at the end he stood up and started shouting at me. I calmly said "I don't mind if you enter the pool ahead of me if you can swim faster than me. But you can't" and carried on swimming. He didn't manage to catch up with me and a few lengths later when I lapped him thankfully I had enough space to overtake. Sweet!
Come to mention it, I haven't seen him recently...

nattyknitter · 23/02/2016 00:44

I used to lane swim, but it gave me the rage. I solved my middle lane issues by moving to the fast lane and then resting so the faster swimers could get past me. There was a bit of waiting around from my part, but then I could put a bit more pelt in to get a faster length in between. It was just about me planning to set off to not be in their way, but beat never getting anywhere in the middle lane.

The two that really gripped my shit - she was pregnant and he swam next to her holding her hand.

lottiegarbanzo · 23/02/2016 01:07

I find foot tapping quite helpful because how else am I supposed to know that someone faster has just come up behind me? If they don't tap I'll turn just in front of them and get in their way.

I really don't like stopping at the ends though, I want to swim continuously. I was usually a faster person in the middle lane and always quite happy to overtake, where possible. Helped that my regular pool was 33m rather than 25m.

Gruntfuttock · 23/02/2016 01:24

As a non-swimmer, can you please explain what part of you is tapping the toe of the slow swimmer? Just trying to imagine it.

sofato5miles · 23/02/2016 01:31

Surely, if you were doing that much overtaking, you were in the wrong lane and should have gone up one (and been the slowest swimmer there, getting toe tapped etc).

PushingThru · 23/02/2016 01:41

Touch or tap me without my consent & I'll be pissed off. There isn't a speed limit on swimming in pools. Work around people. It's not complicated. Don't touch people.

GingerMerkin · 23/02/2016 01:41

When I was a member of a health club and swam I kept my toenails long and sharp. Found peoplle kept away from me after I had drawn blood a few times.

PushingThru · 23/02/2016 01:43

Would you tap people who are moving slowly in the street or up stairs or on the train?

SaltySea · 23/02/2016 01:50

I'm no expert, but surely it's common sense! YANBU

mathanxiety · 23/02/2016 02:56

It's hard when there are just two of you, but easier to figure out who should move to the slower or faster lane when a third swimmer joins you.

In general I think the rule is slower swimmers should move aside a bit or wait at the end of a lap to allow faster swimmers to overtake, and feeling your foot tapped should always be your indication to move over a little to allow passing. Even if the tapping is accidental, the fact is that someone is close enough to tap you, so you should move over. I try to never make contact with anyone else but have accidentally done so if the swimmer in front has slowed down and I haven't noticed. Where I swim, tapping is allowed but I feel I wouldn't do it.

legspinner · 23/02/2016 04:53

OP you are definitely NBU. That's happened to me before and I've just turned earlier to get in front. Bit of a pain but it avoids head on crashes!

BTW toe-tapping is recognised swim etiquette in all of the public pools in my town if you want to pass slower people. Not just in swim clubs / squads. So if there are posters all over the place telling you how to lane swim properly, including toe tapping, there is really no excuse for not letting someone faster go past. In fact quite often IME slower people don't see you coming up behind them when they are turning as they might be facing the wrong way / tumble turning etc, so toe-tapping is really the only way they will know you are there. And sometimes all the lanes are crowded so there isn't a lot of choice where you swim and the medium lane ends up with a massive variety of speeds.

Having said that, I am comfortable toe-tapping in my swim squad, but not in a public lane with people I don't know. Just in case people get the rage. In fact I do what nattyknitter says quite often.

Grunt, you brush the toes of the person in front of you with your fingertips as your arm is coming into the water doing freestyle. At least that's the idea...

BombadierFritz · 23/02/2016 08:27

How odd. I've never been in a pool that advocates touching people. Its aggressive and invades personal space.

lighteningirl · 23/02/2016 08:34

Wow you learn something every day I swim fairly often and usually wait between lengths (I do ten pressups on the edge) if someone is close to me. I really don't like being touched by strangers tho.

Micah · 23/02/2016 08:36

Foot tapping is fucking rude. It's intentionally touching me without my consent.

Accidental one offs cant be helped.

Ive been involved in many swimming clubs over the last 35 years as a competitive swimmer, and its never been acceptable. If youre a swimmer you should have enough lane awareness to know where people are and if they need to overtake.

O/p she should have waited at the end of the pool. If people dont, finish slightly early and turn to get in front.

EBearhug · 23/02/2016 08:53

The only time I've ever toe-tapped has been accidental - but I agree swimmers should be aware that other swimmers are right behind them, and if you're the slower swimmer, you wait at the end of the lane for them to pass. Tough if you want to swim continuously - you don't get that luxury if you are getting in the way of faster swimmers - and if it's a busy pool, then no one's going to get to swim constantly anyway.

There are few things more annoying in a swimming lane than a slower swimmer who just goes up and down, oblivious of everyone else. (Yes, that bloke at my pool, I do mean you.)

NerrSnerr · 23/02/2016 08:56

I do a lot of lane swimming and I have never heard of foot tapping. Some of the responses here are why some people are nervous about lane swimming, drawing blood and making contact with feet for a whole length? Seems overly aggressive.

throwingpebbles · 23/02/2016 08:58

saddle that was pretty unreasonable behaviour by you tbh!

Nicky333 · 23/02/2016 09:19

She's obviously never done a triathlon, where it's explained at the start of every heat that if someone taps you on the toe, you wait at the end of that length and let them set off in front of you.

Most pools that I've used have the same rule, although if you usually wear glasses and not contact lenses, but leave your glasses off to swim, the rules may not always be visible

AgentCooper · 23/02/2016 09:23

I have no idea about this toe tapping business. I swim every day, but in a posh pool where the etiquette is one swimmer per lane (though you can invite someone to share your lane). Woe betide anyone who flouts the law!

BombadierFritz · 23/02/2016 09:32

Yes thats the kind of gym i go to too :) i got too much swimming pool rage in the busy overcrowded lanes
Toetapping might well have a place in a triathlon, but not in a public swimming baths open swim session. No touching needed or wanted

Looobyloo · 23/02/2016 09:35

I hate this! We have a slow, medium & fast lane yet this old man would always swim in the medium lane at the speed or slower than those in the slow lane. Everyone used to get pissed off at him. Just bloody selfishness! I used to get swim rage 😜

feellikeahugefailure · 23/02/2016 09:36

This is why I hate swimming. I want my own pool. In my pool only fast swimmers get a lane so slow swimmers have to doge all the children and parents that despite having the whole pool decide to go to the side where people are doing slow lengths.

travellinghopefully12 · 23/02/2016 09:38

I tried to let a faster swimmer past at the end of the lane the other day, he refused and waved me on irritably. A short time later I became aware of him impatiently behind me in the lane - horrible. (It was the slow lane too but faster swimmers tend to go in if they deem the fast lane too full.)

It's impossible to swim in the open water bit because of people swimming widths, and friends swimming side by side with just enough room in between them that it's impossible to get through whilst otherwise taking the maximum space they can.

Have posted about swimming before (and fear and panic) and I would say that lane etiquette is a big part of why I am so scared to go in and have to convince myself to get out of the changing room and into the pool.

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