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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is Disablist?

104 replies

AdriftOnMemoryBliss · 22/02/2016 16:19

We are part of the local motorbike scene, we go to a lot of the rallies and the kids always enjoy looking at the bikes.

There is one that we cannot go to, because they don't allow cars. You have to arrive on a motorbike. The only cars that are allowed are those who have a blue badge.

My ds is disabled, He has Autism, ADHD, Sensory Processing disorder and severe dyspraxia. He gets Higher Care and Lower Mobility DLA, there is absolutely NO way we can go to this rally because of their refusal to accept cars.

Its been suggested we use a side car. You CANT put an autistic child in a fucking side car.

I have told them that they're breaking the law with regards to access and disability discrimination, because not all disabilities require a blue badge, but it doesn't mean the person is able to get about on a fucking motorbike.

OP posts:
OddBoots · 22/02/2016 18:09

So DH rides his bike and you drive the car until you get to a nearish place you can park then dh drives the car with the rest of you in it to drop you off then drives the car back to his bike and rides it back to join you. Could that work?

I am disabled but don't qualify for a blue badge, it stops me doing a lot of things, my blame is directed towards the people who decide who should get a blue badge.

Branleuse · 22/02/2016 18:12

Surely its the DWP being disablist by not allowing your son a blue badge if he blatantly needs one. The rally are making concessions for blue badge holders.

I mean, your son might not be able to access all sorts of things if he has to go by car. Its what the blue badge is for.

I do get the system is unfair, but I think its mean to focus on the organisers of small events when even the government wont recognise his mobility issues.

My son was unwelcome at an extra curricular activity because they couldnt accomodate his autism, and as it was staffed by volunteers and wasnt strictly necessary for him to go, I didnt push it, but it was upsetting.

Furiosa · 22/02/2016 18:20

Hang on OP even if your son wasn't disabled and could ride pillion, how would you get there? Do you ride a bike too?

If your son wasn't disabled it doesn't sound like you would be able to go anyway? Do you have other children? (you said kids in an earlier post)

mamacasshadahairyass · 22/02/2016 18:26

Its a sensory and safety thing with him lljkk, he can't stand wind/rain/cold, i'm not even allowed the windows open in the car^

But you want to take your DS to a field on a farm in the middle of the countryside

OK then Confused

mamacasshadahairyass · 22/02/2016 18:46

Its been suggested we use a side car. You CANT put an autistic child in a fucking side car

That's bollocks. My friend's autistic DS loves going in his granddad's Steib chair.

Do you actually have a bike with a sidecar already?

Zariyah · 22/02/2016 18:55

YANBU and also, I'm so fucked off with local authorities who won't consider blue badge applications for those who don't receive HRM. It's even harder to get the higher (enhanced) rate mobility with PIP. What happens to those people? No money and no access to public places. "Stay at home, disabled people." Angry

Furiosa · 22/02/2016 18:57

OP you said you have children so you need to use a car regardless if one of your children has a disability. You said you don't ride.

You can't go to this event. It has nothing to do with your son.

Also if HirplesWithHaggis is right then it's not a child friendly event. I've been to biker events in pubs, schools, hospices and in fields.

The ones in fields are for bikers only Wink

HirplesWithHaggis · 22/02/2016 19:08

Tbf it's not child unfriendly - they do free admission for under-16's and there is some suitable entertainment. But it's not child focussed either, it's for bikers who are, by definition, adults. People were complaining about their (nt) dc not being able to go because of the no car rule when we first went 20-odd years ago and the reply was, and remains, essentially, suck it up. Dc are not dc forever, older dc can go pillion behind a parent, you can buy/build a family trike, there are hundreds of other suitable rallies etc every year.

This rally just isn't suitable for OP and her dc.

shinynewusername · 22/02/2016 20:05

OP, why don't the organisers let in cars without blue badges? If they have a good reason (e.g only room for a small number), then they are not breaking the Equality Act - there is an exception from the need to make reasonable adjustments (in most cases) if to do so would cause operational or safety problems.

manicinsomniac · 22/02/2016 20:08

Oddboots idea is a really good one - and surely the only one that would work even if your son wasn't diabled if you have several people in your family and only one bike? Do that!

It's ridiculous that your son can't have a blue badge. I had no idea some councils were so tight. My mum has one and she isn't even disabled! (I mean, she is in that she can't walk very far but she doesn't have a specific, named, disability to put on any forms). All she had to do was get a letter from the doctor stating that she is unable to walk further than a certain distance. Geographical disparity like that is crazily unfair.

HirplesWithHaggis · 22/02/2016 20:20

Oddboots' suggestion won't work - the rule is "no cars, no vans, no pedestrians. Dh would have to ferry the family one by one, can't be done.

ouryve · 22/02/2016 20:25

I think the whole point of a motorbike rally is that you join in on a motorbike. There are car rallies for people who have cars.

You might find a bus rally better, if he enjoys buses. Lots of them have lots of vintage and current vehicles to look at - and explore if the owners are willing - and there's often a few vehicles go out on trips and will take passengers. And your DS will most definitely not be the only neurodivergent person there!

manicinsomniac · 22/02/2016 20:29

no pedestrians - huh? How does that work? How are people supposed to look at things from their bikes?

Maybe I'm not understanding what a rally is - I'm thinking like a county show/fayre thing but for bikers?

HirplesWithHaggis · 22/02/2016 20:48

Manic, this rally is a large field in a very isolated location. Most people go for two nights, camping over. Central to the rally is a sort of village made up of entertainment tents, beer tents, food retailers, sellers of jewellery, leatherwear, ex-forces stuff etc. Camping is outside of this central area. You ride your bike to the campsite, park up, set up the tent etc, then walk down to the main drag.

But you can't walk into the grounds, you must be on a bike or trike. There are marshalls to ensure the rules are kept.

OooLookShoes · 22/02/2016 20:59

I think I know which one too. It is not suitable for even a nt child. This is a biker rally. It ain't the NEC.

Oddly I did attend in a car a few years ago. I was on the staff.

Original poster
AdriftOnMemoryBliss · 22/02/2016 21:02

I dont think we're talking about the same one Hirples. This one is quite a small, supposedly family friendly affair run by a small local club, and no mention of pedestrians in the rules, just cars, because of parking space.

The issue was that when i was in the pub, one of the club members asked if i was going and i actually said as they didnt allow cars, then no, because we couldn't get DS there.

I dont have an issue with not being able to go, i'm ok with that, we cant take DS to everything.

What i'm not ok with is i think their policy is disablist and discriminates against people with disabilities, and i'm disappointed they don't understand that just because someone doesn't have a BB, doesn't mean they're able to arrive on a bike/side car.

OP posts:
manicinsomniac · 22/02/2016 21:04

Thanks for explaining Hirples

But, as this one does allow pedestrians, Adrift - why don't you do what Oddboots suggested?

Pontytidy · 22/02/2016 21:05

Sounds as if the rally has made a provision for blue badge holders, and that bikes only can attend. This rule would affect many not just those with an addional need eg young children, babies, older people etc all cannot arrive on bike and may not have a side car.

Original poster
AdriftOnMemoryBliss · 22/02/2016 21:06

and its in a field because we live in the sticks, lol, everything is in a field out here ;)

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 22/02/2016 21:10

Ah, my apologies Adrift, I had in mind a much larger event. As it's a smaller do, could you ask for special dispensation? Or revert to Oddboots' idea. :)

Original poster
AdriftOnMemoryBliss · 22/02/2016 21:22

but yes, a lot of my irritation is because i can't get a BB for DS just because he only gets LR mobility.. its frustrating, things like this highlight it!

walking him aanywhere in public is like running the sodding gauntlet, that's if he's willing/able to walk that day!

Between the ASD, ADHD and Dyspraxia he is a proper muddle of absolutely no sense of danger, prone to running off, daydreaming and having no coordination or balance which means he can trip, fall or stumble over the flat ground at any given moment.. he also gets tired of walking and complains his feet/legs hurt and can just sit down and refuse to move any further, and has to be guarded going up or down stairs so he doesn't break his neck. Humping even a malnourished (restricted eater) 9yo around when you have a fucked back, pelvis and hip and sciatica is not much fun!

I dont want a BB because he can't walk, i want one for the days he is a danger to himself!

OP posts:
OddBoots · 22/02/2016 21:29

Adrift, from what you describe there he sounds like he should be entitled regardless of his mobility rate according to the CAB. I know you have said you have appealed for him though so I know that is no help, sorry.

Original poster
AdriftOnMemoryBliss · 22/02/2016 21:34

i might try again, last one was before he got his latest award, just based on camhs/OT reports.

now we have evidence of him receiving DLA, but i'm not overly hopeful, our council are arseholes!

OP posts:
Original poster
AdriftOnMemoryBliss · 22/02/2016 21:37

and those criteria are Welsh, they do accept mental impairment, the English criteria doesn't include it :(

OP posts:
OddBoots · 22/02/2016 21:40

Oops, sorry, i didn't notice that.