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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make dd give up her class?

44 replies

PinanNidan · 21/02/2016 18:14

DD does a class for two hours a week. Now prices have gone up it costs £12 per week plus competition/exam/clothing costs. DD LOVES this class.

Honestly for me it is a pain in the backside. Circumstances have changed and financially it is a struggle especially with the extra costs. We are currently JUST affording it but only just and in place of missing out on other things and I am worried she might get higher level and then us not be able to afford it.

I have to also hang around outside for two hours as you cannot stay and watch.

If I'm honest despite a very qualified and good instructor I cannot see the hundreds and hundreds of pounds worth of progress. She's ok and double passed one exam missing a grade in the early months but hasn't improved massively since then and she's not gifted at it.

But she loves it Sad

OP posts:
TheSpottedZebra · 21/02/2016 18:19

Is there an option to do the class but not the competitions?
Or is there another similar fun class that is cheaper and has no comps?

TheSpottedZebra · 21/02/2016 18:20

But - no if you can't afford it, then she can't go.

How old is she, would she understand money?

FatimaShitbread · 21/02/2016 18:20

I don't think I could ever stop my dc doing somethin they loved even if they weren't Olympic standard. Ds does 3 swimming lessons a week. He's never going to be a good swimmer but he loves it and it's his biggest form of exercise. Don't get me started on how much dd's dance classes cost!
However, if it got to the point that paying for it was a big struggle and there was no way to wiggle money from elsewhere then they'd have to stop. I wouldn't make them stop something they love on the off chance they might prefer something else.

neolara · 21/02/2016 18:25

Why does it matter if she isn't going to be great at it? Surely what's important is that she loves it.

MirriVan · 21/02/2016 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PinanNidan · 21/02/2016 18:29

Neolara if we could easily afford it without having to really struggle it wouldn't matter at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
PinanNidan · 21/02/2016 18:34

Its something that she would have to go to every week to be able to do the exams which are every three months and cost another £30 each time. She would not want to not do exams. Competitions we could leave.

She does do another class in something else but that is funded.

OP posts:
redskytonight · 21/02/2016 18:35

What else does she do? Can she be made to choose? How old is she - old enough to understand that money is tight and if she really wants to do this class it might be in lieu of birthday presents etc. In fact if she's not old enough to understand that, then she's young enough not to really miss it.

BertrandRussell · 21/02/2016 18:39

Bet it's Irish dancing!

MirriVan · 21/02/2016 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PinanNidan · 21/02/2016 18:39

She's a teen.
She does another activity. We have a funded place. It is free and she got all her uniform.

OP posts:
museumum · 21/02/2016 18:42

If it's active I'd do all you can to afford it. Or look into different classes for the same activity?
It's VERY hard to keep teens active through to adulthood but also very important for mental and physical health.

DIYandEatCake · 21/02/2016 18:43

My mum scrimped and saved to allow me to go to a class for something I loved (but was, at that point, pretty average at), and I'm eternally grateful as it became a lifelong passion and a career for me. If there's any way of affording to continue I would, having something in life that you love is worth so much.

Original poster
PinanNidan · 21/02/2016 18:48

Mirri that might be an option although I would imagine she would hate it when the others came into class or moved sessions due to grading and she hadn't.

I suggested she do the second hour every other week instead of weekly and she had a crisis that she wouldn't get her exams.

Not Irish dancing. I watched a program on cbbc on that the other day and could never afford that!!

OP posts:
Original poster
PinanNidan · 21/02/2016 18:51

Thanks DIY interesting to hear from the Childs perspective

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 21/02/2016 18:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

specialsubject · 21/02/2016 18:51

a teenager is old enough to understand 'can't afford it'.

that's life. Sorry.

Original poster
PinanNidan · 21/02/2016 18:53

Paper round is an option.

Volunteering isn't. I have tried. They have loads.

OP posts:
ChalkHearts · 21/02/2016 18:55

Getting a paper round is a very good idea!

My 13 year old DD has one and earns £25 a week. Which would make a real difference to you.

Just ask at your local newsagent....

lorelei9 · 21/02/2016 18:57

you say she's a teen, so I'm wondering if there's anything she can give up....do you give her pocket money? Can she contribute? Could rellies etc give contributions to these classes as Xmas or birthday gifts?

does she have a phone - would she be willing to reduce usage on that? Just trying to think of all avenues.

Original poster
PinanNidan · 21/02/2016 18:57

Wow £25 would massively help. Is that morning and night seven days a week?

OP posts:
Original poster
PinanNidan · 21/02/2016 19:00

I don't give pocket money
My parents give her a fiver a week
I've not topped her phone up in months as I've not been able to afford it.
Only relatives are elderly parents. They help as much as possible.

OP posts:
Veterinari · 21/02/2016 19:04

Is it martial arts OP? I did that as a teen and I'd def recommend it. As I progressed I started assisting with teaching and had the classes in lieu of pocket money. Eventually I taught classes myself.

It was great both physically and mentally. I agree with PP whatever it is, if she loves it then do try and give her the opportunity

lorelei9 · 21/02/2016 19:05

ah, paper round or other short time job seems a great idea then.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 21/02/2016 19:14

Have you tried discussing this with her instructor? She may be able to offer some sort of scaled down option for a cheaper price e.g. less hours or postponing some exams.
It is hard but your daughter will have to accept that her hobby will have to be dropped or limited because you can't afford it. There is always an option for her to resume it when she's older.
For the clothing required, could you buy it second hand?