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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make dd give up her class?

44 replies

PinanNidan · 21/02/2016 18:14

DD does a class for two hours a week. Now prices have gone up it costs £12 per week plus competition/exam/clothing costs. DD LOVES this class.

Honestly for me it is a pain in the backside. Circumstances have changed and financially it is a struggle especially with the extra costs. We are currently JUST affording it but only just and in place of missing out on other things and I am worried she might get higher level and then us not be able to afford it.

I have to also hang around outside for two hours as you cannot stay and watch.

If I'm honest despite a very qualified and good instructor I cannot see the hundreds and hundreds of pounds worth of progress. She's ok and double passed one exam missing a grade in the early months but hasn't improved massively since then and she's not gifted at it.

But she loves it

OP posts:

ChalkHearts · 21/02/2016 19:28

£25 a week is for half an hour a day, (an hour on Saturdays) mornings only.

DD might be lucky with her round though, because it includes an old age home which takes a whole stack of papers.

But even if your DD earned half that it would help....

Original poster

PinanNidan · 21/02/2016 19:35

Thank you. It would definitely help.
It is martial arts yes.

The instructor does know we are struggling but tbh dd is easily replaced. There are billions of kids and dd is not good enough to fight for to stay.

OP posts:

IamlovedbyG · 21/02/2016 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

catsinthecraddle · 21/02/2016 19:47

It would be a great shame if she had to stop something she loves. What would she do instead?

I totally understand she is not being punished, what about birthday presents, baby sitting?

She shouldn't need new clothes regularly for martial arts unless she really grow up quickly. Even so, could you buy some second hand ones from another student? Clubs don't like it because they make money on everything, but no-one else need to know.

Mellowautumn · 21/02/2016 19:58

She needs help to get a job - if she is passionate rnough she will find somthing !

TaraCarter · 21/02/2016 20:23

Any chance she could take up Judo instead? Generally much cheaper martial art, and your daughter could see it as developing her present skill set rather than giving up her sport.

queenMab99 · 21/02/2016 20:33

I pay for lessons for my grandchildren, instead of toys etc for birthdays.

Cressandra · 21/02/2016 20:36

If she were younger, unaffordability would be reason enough. But as she's old enough, as others say, bring her in and make her part of the solution. If she's not keen enough to do that, I think you can justifiably make her give it up.

Babysitting is a good idea if she's old enough, or give her plenty of help to start up something. If she is not old enough quite yet, you could say you'll fund her 100% until she hits a particular age.

Are there any similar but more local, cheaper clubs?

Cressandra · 21/02/2016 20:47

Oh yes, and birthday/christmas money. Very kind of you to fund classes queenmab but it's a lot more £££ than my parents spend on my kids.

I think children surprise us with what they want sometimes. My 9 year old chose to have boots for her birthday this year. I feel awful, other children get given them anyway whereas she had to "use up" her main birthday present to get them. But they have made her so happy.

TaraCarter · 21/02/2016 20:56

I think you and your daughter could have a look at other martial arts clubs in the area, their ongoing prices and times (and whether they do free introductory trial lessons!)

Two hours is a decent length of lesson, but I think £12 is [hmmm] for one lesson a week for under-sixteens.

phlebasconsidered · 21/02/2016 21:14

I was hugely relieved when DS and DD wanted to give up martial arts. Previously, they (and I ) had loved it and I scrimped to get the cash, but then our master retired and the new one was downright horrible, put us all off. On the one hand, we are sad to give it up, as prior to the new master, who ruined DS confidence, it was a great discipline for us all, but tbh, the 80 quid per month saved (not even counting stupidly expensive gradings and new belts etc) is very welcome, and I like having my Friday evenings back! If either child had been competition quality i'd have searched for another martial art to do, but they are all quite similar in price, time and the way that the masters tend to make the difference. Some dojo are sheer money making enterprises, I think. At the end of the day they did the class because it (used to be) fun, and any sport can be fun if you find the right one.

We have replaced the 4 hours of classes with a weekly roller rink visit and a laser quest bash, costs less and we still exercise. We also started doing ParkRuns together, great fun. There's always something you can do. If she really really loves it, I second a job to contribute, or searching for a cheaper alternative. Kickboxing is cheaper round my way.

WonderingAspie · 21/02/2016 22:33

I'm surprised it is so expensive!

My DCs do a martial art, it's cheaper because 3 from our family go. We pay £20 a month per child and they can go to as many lessons as they want in that month. DS averages 13 lessons a month. Gradings are getting further apart as they get the higher belts. DS is every year at the moment at £27 a time. There is a specialist class they need to do once a month for another £6.50 but everything else is optional. I do find some of the instructors put pressure on to attend extra classes where the cost really adds up but we refuse them. None of them are interested in the tournaments. DH joined himself and is training to be an instructor and his is all free now!

DS isn't amazing at it, he could be with a bit more effort but half the time it looks a little half hearted, he pulls it together for gradings though but he loves it and it's brilliant exercise so I'd never stop him unless I had to.

Is there not a cheaper alternative martial art? Ours is karate and I know there are many different types and clubs in our city so prices probably vary.

Original poster

PinanNidan · 22/02/2016 06:41

It is the cheapest by far where we live. I would love unlimited lessons for £20!

She's growing so fast we are going through suits like crazy and they are specific ones, there isn't anyone slightly bigger than dd. They are either same height or much much bigger

OP posts:

Veterinari · 22/02/2016 06:44

Yes gradings will not continue to be every 3 months. 6-12 months between gradings is normal for senior grades

I agree with discussing the finances with her but also have a chat to the instructor and let him know that you're struggling with the price hike

Original poster

PinanNidan · 22/02/2016 07:58

She isn't old enough really to babysit and has some mild SN which would mean this was not an option yet. She should be able to manage a paper route though.

OP posts:

Minisoksmakehardwork · 22/02/2016 08:20

If she enjoys it and gets a lot out of it, whether she is exceptional at it or not, then I'd try everything to keep her in it. Especially given you say she has mild sn and might struggle to find something to replace it.

I'd be asking anyone who buys her presents for money towards her sessions and kit. You say she's the only one of her size, are there other clubs or could you put a wanted ad on local FB selling pages for the immediate next size up. Then, if there's only another size between that and the next person up, see if you can buy kit to put aside ready (when/if you have funds). This might take some of the cost away when you get to the point where she needs new kit.

Paper round, dog walking, weekend waitressing. All jobs which would be suitable for her age if they're available. Babysitting may also be be an option depending on your daughter and someone else's needs. There have been times where I'd have given anything for someone to be able to sit and play with the DC while I've done other jobs in the house, just to make sure they don't completely trash the place! Or even just watch them playing outside the house, so there's someone they can go to if they need a drink or run into small problems.

ChoudeBruxelles · 22/02/2016 08:24

Could you talk to the club. I'm on the committee for ds's club - it's only £4 a session but we have a fund to support people who can't afford it.

redskytonight · 22/02/2016 11:22

Karate is £10 for a 2 hour class round here, so I don't think the cost is so unlikely - if you consider the cost per hour that's no more than any other specialist class. DS does 2 classes a week now he is at an advanced level and we're (like OP) wondering about the cost of it and its worth. But on the flip side it's the only exercise DS enjoys and now he's at a higher level he's building soft skills as he's expected to help with supporting/training the less experienced. Also gradings may be less frequent but they are more expensive!! So not really any saving there.

I do think it's a shame (in general) that it's impossible to do many sports beyond a very basic/fun level without huge outlays of money.

WonderingAspie · 22/02/2016 11:26

Can you not get a slightly bigger Gi and roll it up? The smallest size our club do is too big for my youngest so we roll back the sleeves and legs (I've seen some that have been taken up). We had the same with DS and it meant his lasted 3 years as they are usually a bit short as well rather than usual trouser length.

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